Not My Type by the darkness revealed
Summary: It turns out, Blaine isn't GAP clerk's type. Kurt is. Post WIGYA. SPOILERS!
Disclaimer: Glee doesn't belong to me.
I doubt this'll actually happen on the show, but whatever.
Kurt was in GAP and he was trying not to panic but it was really, really hard.
After all, did he not swear not to step into a GAP store ever again after that unfortunate shopping experience with his dad several years ago?
But here he was, hiding behind a pillar, waiting for Blaine to give the signal. He was tired and bored and the amount of unfabulousness in the room was making him itch. But most of all, he really wished Blaine had specified exactly what he had meant when he'd asked for a favour. Because really. GAP?
Kurt curled his lip at a truly awful shirt in the corner and did his best not to shudder. 'You're doing this for Blaine,' Kurt reminded himself sharply. 'He needs your help so help him."
Truthfully, though, Kurt was really helping because he hoped that…well, that maybe, just maybe, Blaine was going to tell Kurt that he loved him and then whisk him away to a magical castle and ravish him on a large bed filled with mounds of pillows and—
Kurt usually snapped himself out of his fantasy there, but you get the point. He'd seen all those glances Blaine kept giving him, how he'd constantly touch Kurt, the way he kept grabbing his hand randomly when they were walking together. For GaGa's sake, they had sung a duet together. Kurt was definitely not imaging things…at least, he hoped not.
Shaking himself out of his reverie, Kurt saw Blaine straighten his jacket nervously and step out into the store. The others started singing the introduction to the song and Kurt hastily joined in.
About half a minute into the song, Kurt realized that Blaine was singing to someone. And not just anyone. No, Blaine had to pick the ugliest, plainest person in the room.
Trying his best to stay focused, Kurt glared at the ugly, hoodie-wearing hippie GAP worker, mentally taking apart his entire appearance. Then he saw the way Blaine was singing to him and his mind went blank.
Blaine was really into it. He looked sincere and smug and intense and oh so gorgeous, and Kurt's heart was somehow melting and breaking all that the same time.
Had he completely misinterpreted everything again? Was this going to be another Finn scenario? Oh God, he was going to be single and unloved for the rest of his life—
Caught up in his thoughts, Kurt stopped moving around and singing, instead just staring dazedly as his thoughts whirled around in his brain and his heart broke to pieces in his chest.
Vaguely noticing that the singing had stopped, Kurt looked up just in time to see Blaine hold up a pair of socks at the bewildered GAP clerk, grinning smugly.
"Hey there," Blaine smirked. "Wanna get a coffee?"
Kurt tried not to cry. There was no way the clerk would refuse; who could resist sexy, gorgeous, amazing Blaine? Kurt glared at the worker. Such an ugly, unfashionable person didn't deserve to be serenaded by handsome men in GAP stores.
The GAP clerk hesitated and then sighed. "I'm sorry. The song was amazing but you're not my type."
Blaine's mouth dropped.
"You, another hand," the clerk said, staring at a point beyond Blaine's shoulder, "most definitely are."
Kurt gaped. "Who, me?"
Blaine whirled around and stared.
The clerk nodded. "You, gorgeous. Want to get a coffee?"
Kurt straightened up, a haughty look on his face. "I'm afraid I'll have to decline. Three reasons: A—you're wearing a hoodie; B—you working at GAP for God's sake; and C—I couldn't. Not when Blaine likes you. That would be just cruel." He folded his arms. "So I'm sorry, GAP boy. I won't be getting any coffees with you, today or anytime." He turned away, paused, and shot one last remark at the stunned GAP clerk. "And get a haircut. Your hair's worse than my old teacher's and that's saying something."
Facing the silent group of Warblers, he put his hands on his hips. "Come on, boys. Let's get out of here. If I have to spend another minute in this wretched place, I'm afraid I might have to borrow my dad's flamethrower and do something drastic. Let's go."
He whirled around and strutted away in true HBIC form. Mutely, the Warblers followed, with Wes and David leading a distressed Blaine away.
Glancing at Blaine's distraught face, Kurt felt a twinge in his chest and sighed. He'd deal with Blaine later. But right now, he really, really needed a girl's night with Mercedes.
Ergh, I don't know. I hope it was ok!
What did you guys think of the video? Personally, I could barely concentrate on the (amazing) song through the sound of my heart breaking. Kurt's face just killed me. What did you think? What are your opinions/reactions/theories?
Don't forget to review!