Second Chances

I sat in my quarters at my desk, checking mail from the computer. It was the usual stuff, random gratitude from people I had helped in the past, information on new products. I had turned off the lights of my room, so sat only in the glow of my fish tank. It made the room... serene. Something I needed after the type of work I do.

I heard the elevator open, and turned to see a figure emerging from it in the darkness of the room.

"Shepard?" A male voice. I looked up and saw a shadow hobbling toward me. Wait… hobbling? It couldn't be.

"Joker is that…" I squinted my eyes in an attempt to focus "…has something happened?"

I hit the light panel on my wall and sure enough, it was Joker, coming toward me. "I come up for a visit and you think its 'cause there's something wrong?"

"Joker, you came to my quarters. I mean, you came to my quarters."

"Yeah. I did."

"Not once have you ever, ever come to my quarters. Or come to see me, in fact. You'd always beckon for me, or just not talk to me at all."

"Do you want me to go?" he said defensively.

"What? No, don't be stupid. Its just weird. Like seeing... well, you come to my quarters. Or Jack in a tutu." he became thoughtful for a second, and I knew instantly what he was thinking. "Hey, you've got the extra-net for that, don't sully my cabin."

"Sorry, Commander."

I stared at him awhile, and watched as he parked himself on one of my sofas, slowly and with concentration. I wouldn't have said so, but I admired and felt a sort of pride over how he was using his legs and how much progress he had made. Teaming up with Cerberus seemed worth it just for that. I shook my head and continued to read my mail.

I soon finished up and decided to sit near him and try to figure out what the hell it was he wanted. The man was starting to freak me out. The Joker I knew would not go out of his way to spend time with me, he always went to lengths to avoid it, I'd say. He could barely even look me in the eye or talk to me without making a wise-crack about something.

I sat down, and he was just looking at my fish tank. "Nice."

"Yeah. They are. When I remember to feed them." I looked over him once more. "Joker is there something I can do for you?"

He became thoughtful. "We been through a lot Shepard. I'm not even gonna bother listing it. But I've been thinking about... everything. And the worst of it I think was when you leapt from the collectors' base. And nearly didn't make it. I really thought you weren't going to make it."

Was he serious? "I'm not sure I agree with that. I think the only difference is that you were actually there to see it happening, instead of happily sitting in your pilots' chair. Not that I don't appreciate you coming to the rescue. But I can definitely think of some occasions where it was worse. Being in the collectors' base comes to mind."

"You're probably right. I guess it was really being in the action that made me realize how serious this is, this time round. Since your death, anyway. And not to doubt your abilities or anything, how much time we have left."

"Ah," I finally understood. "You're having a little mid-life type crisis. I can understand that, seeing how close to death we've been and well… are. But you've done great Joker. Your so good a pilot your superiors ignore your smart ass attitude. You serve with the best of them, if I do say so myself. And don't forget you recently got yourself a great new pair of legs." I winked.

"They're still mine. Just a little improved is all. Anyway, my point. Remember, two years ago, before your big accident-"

"I wouldn't say accident."

"You know what I mean."

"I died." I said, enjoying toying with him in this way. He definitely did it to us enough.

"Would you just let me finish? Jeez. Remember my stubbornness and how you had to drag me from my pilots chair?"

"Yeah." Still waiting for that apology, I thought. Is that why he's here?

"You know my reasoning behind it?"

"You're a pig headed bastard." I smirked.

"i suppose that's fair. But I also felt like, what's the point? Piloting is my life. The Normandy was my life. If I don't have that, what's the point?"

I was about to open my mouth to disagree, but he held up his hand to stop me. "Not to mention. You had Kaidan."

My heart sunk a little at his mention, but I kept a straight face. This was a sore spot, and I didnt appreciate his bringing it up.

"But I can't help but feel that… your coming back was like, a second chance or something. I don't know."

"Well, it is." I said.

He looked up at me. "You think so?"

"Galaxy can't save itself. Certainly didn't 50,000 years ago."

"No I meant. A second chance for…"

I waited, and I truly felt like throttling him. Why did he come up here if he wasn't mentally ready to say... whatever it was he wanted to say.

"Joker please, if you don't spit it out I'm gonna have to strangle the words from your throat."

He looked down at his shoes. "Ah, this was a mistake. I'm just gonna get back to the cock pit."

Not after all this messing around, he wasn't. "You worried EDI will be looking for you? Sit down, Moreau. Everyone will start worrying you're whipped."

He sighed. "I meant a second chance for me, Shepard."

I waited for him to continue.

"Your going to make me come out and say it aren't you?"

"Well I don't have a clue what you're talking about, so yes. You wanna try charades?"

"I don't think I can."

"Come on, its easy. This means film, and this-"

"I meant come out and say it you idio-. Look, I'm not sure if you've noticed but I'm not great at the whole being real thing."

I laughed. "Maybe a little."

He bowed his head, and rubbed at his temples, rearranging his hat a little. He seemed truly emoted and bothered by something. Something I had never seen in him before. I got up from my chair and sat on the coffee table directly ahead of him, and I rubbed my hand on his forearm. "What in the hell is bothering you this much, Joker? You can tell me."

He looked up at me, and for the first time ever he actually made eye contact and managed to hold it for longer than a few seconds. With a groan, and using his fist on the coach to usher himself forward, he moved toward me. "I can't vocalize it." he said. Suddenly he was directly ahead of me, and his hands found the outside of my thighs, edging me closer to him and taking hold at the same time.

I watched them as they grabbed on to me. Confused, I pulled my eyes away from his hands and looked up at him. He was now inches away from my face, and within seconds he had turned his head and closed the distance.

I felt the warmth and fullness of his lips against mine, moving over my lips and tasting me. I hadn't made one move, I was still in the shock of it all.

He must have realized I was as stiff as a dead horse, because he pulled away. I knew he must have taken that as rejection, him being as defensive and sensitive as he is.

He stayed close to my face, and we just stared into each others eyes. My pupils flitted from side to side, trying to read him.

Finally, I decided to stop thinking.

I moved back in for the kiss, my lower lip moving over his and between his own two. He returned the kiss with a confident urgency there hadn't been the first time.

I climbed from the coffee table onto his lap, wrapping my legs around his thighs and sitting directly atop him. After moving over completely I leaned forward to place my lips on his once more, but pulled back when I instead bopped my head on his cap, causing it to sit awkwardly on his head.

I laughed, as did he. I looked sternly at him for it, but kept a smirk on my mouth at the same time.

Keeping the eye contact, I took off his hat and placed it a top my own head, but slightly slanted. And now I turned my head to take another kiss. He pushed himself against me and I him, and the kiss deepened.

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to him, and I ran my fingers through his hair. I slowly pushed him closer to the wall, and grappled hold of the back of the sofa we were seated on. I used this leverage to pull myself closer to him, he responded by letting a slight groan escape his lips, which I soon drowned out by pressing my mouth on his again.

My hands slowly glided from there to his waist, then underneath his t-shirt to feel the firmness of his abs. My fingers found his snail trail and they twirled it playfully, my other hand around the back of his neck, the kiss continuing. I decided to take my hand lower, and I slipped my finger into his trousers and ran my finger along the waistband of them to tease him.

"The Illusive man has requested your presence, Jeff."

I pulled away and saw EDI's projected image active, and suddenly lost the urge to continue. I got up, wiped my fingers along my mouth, and straightened out my clothing. Joker remained seated, but his head had lolled back in frustration.

Joker sighed and slowly got himself up. He groaned while his teeth clenched from the strain, but I cant say I felt bad about it.

"Be right there, EDI."

He looked at me, but said nothing. Definitely not his strong point, this emotional stuff. "So, does this mean I get to call you Jeff?"

He seemed to relax at that, and smiled a little. "If it's all the same to you, I'll keep on calling you Shepard."

"Commander Shepard."

"Heh, yeah."

"You better get going, Joker." I nodded toward EDI "You don't want to upset your wife."

He gazed at me, and moved in closer as he did so. I felt heat in my cheeks. His hands came up… and he snatched back his hat. With a grin he turned back, "Thanks for the talk, Commander. We'll have to do it again sometime."

He walked toward the elevator, and laughed to himself, shaking his head as the door closed.

"Sure thing, Jeff." I said to myself, and I lay down on my bed.

Smiling.