Something I've been wanting to write for awhile. Hope you all enjoy it.
Disclaimer: I do not own, just the plot
"What's wrong?" I asked my friend for the umpteenth time. He had been sitting in the tree for hours, just looking out on the horizon. He didn't reply, and instead continued to be in deep thought. Lelouch hardly blinked, and if he wasn't a vampire like myself, I would have been really worried. Luckily, vampires like us didn't have to worry about the normal illnesses that the mortals got. Sighing, I arose from the tree trunk I had been leaning against and was about to go back to the clan when he muttered something quietly to himself. "What was that?"
"It's not fair." He repeated. "What's not?" I asked. "We vampires...we feel, we hate, we love..." He paused for a second before continuing, "we have all these emotions inside of us, but we can't cry." That's what he was so stressed about? "Why would you want to? It's a stupid human emotion, and we have no need to show such weakness." I spat distastefully. He turned to glare at me, "you wouldn't understand Suzaku. You were never human."
It was true, but to me that was a good thing. I never had to live the pathetic life of a mortal. "So? Even if I had, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be moping around about not being able to cry." He kept his glaring at me, and when I was beginning to get uncomfortable, he turned away. "Your kind. Our kind. Vampires. It seems to me that all we ever do is cause destruction and madness. And yet... for all the trouble that we cause others, we can't even shed one measly tear." I shook my head at him, "you're spouting madness. Maybe you should go lie down to rest." Lelouch's mouth was set into a small tight frown.
He jumped down from the tree branch and I thought he was going to do what I had suggested. Instead, he began to walk the opposite direction of our clan. "Hey! Where're you going?" "To find a memory." Was all he said. I looked from Lelouch to the direction of our clan, then back again to him, trying to figure out what to do. Thinking fast, I yelled for him to wait for me. I caught up to his moving form, and walked with him to wherever he was going.
The small journey was silent, him being too intent looking for his 'memory' or whatever. Suddenly he stopped, and pointed to the ground. "There." "There?" I asked confused, all I saw was a patch of dirt with a couple of flowers. He moved closer and crouched down next to a certain patch. "This is it."
"It's a stupid blue flower." He shook his head, "not just a flower, but a forget-me-not." I rolled my eyes, "so what?" He was staring intently at the flower, not paying me much mind. "They said when God-" "Don't bring up God. We've been through this countless times already!" I growled, exasperated with him already, "you, we, are vampires. We aren't in God's favor. He's turned his back on us." He shushed me before continuing, "They said when God was creating the world, he had names for all living things on Earth, except for this flower. The flower cried out 'Lord, please do not forget me,' and the Lord replied, 'whether you are big or small, I forget you not. Your name shall be a reminder of this promise. I name you forget-me-not.'"
"So what are you trying to say? Hm?" He gave me a small smile, "nothing too important. Like I said before, I was only looking for a memory. This flower was a favorite of.. my mother." His mouth twitched a bit at the mention of a family member. There was a flash of sadness in his eyes before he grabbed a couple of the flowers, arose from the ground, and began to make his way to our clan. Or so I thought.
He veered off to the left, going towards the area where a city once stood. There was only ruin now, simply because it was apart of the Great Massacre. As he continued walking, I began to get hesitant. There were rumors that there were still humans living here, and that they had ill feelings about vampires. I replayed this message to him, but Lelouch ignored me and continued on his way. I begrudgingly followed him, and was surprised he when suddenly stopped. I looked up to the burned down home, familiarity hitting me, though I couldn't place why. He laid the flowers on the doorstep of the house, and backed away silently. "I wish I could cry..."
I turned to look at him, and studied his pained face. I realized now that this was the house he had lived in with his family, before the vampires had attacked and killed off his family. His eyes were resting on the doorstep, not really seeing anything. "Come on, let's get back to the clan." His hands clenched into fists, and I could tell that he wanted to tell me something. But he wouldn't. Not anymore anyways.
After a few silent minutes, he finally turned towards me and followed as I began to lead the way back, though I could tell his fists were still clenched. "If you have something to say, then say it. Don't just continue your damn moping." I growled, irritated with his damn mood. He didn't reply, which only succeeded in angering me more. I stopped and spun around to him, my glare fixed onto his eyes. "What the hell is your damn problem?"
He glared back, and I could see some of the old defiance he once held when I had first met him. Nowadays, there was only remorse and hatred. "You're my damn problem, Suzaku!" He hissed, fangs protruding from his mouth, "you have no guilt at all for all the lives you've taken away!" "You've been a vampire for over 50 years! Get. Over. It." I growled, my voice beginning to get low.
"Don't you have a heart?" Lelouch's eyes were almost pleading with me, begging me to understand his feelings. But I wasn't going to fall for it.
"No! And neither do you!" I shouted at him. "We're dead! We've been dead!"
He mouth was set into a deep frown, "no, you've always been dead. You were born dead Suzaku, but I was born alive." He was staring at me accusingly, and I was feeling awkward. "Let's go." I said, not wanting to continue in this discussion any longer. If permitted, this conversation would last for a very long time.
Once again we traveled in silence, but I was grateful for it. Within minutes, I could hear the sounds of bats flying over and around us, a sign that that we were now amongst our clan. I gave a sideways glance to him, but he had disappeared. Oh well. It was almost morning, and he would be back to our home soon. But then again, he was so stubborn it would not surprise me if he stayed out during the sun. Death by the sun was one of the most shameful ways of dying, but he had often said that he thought it was one of the most beautiful ways. I hadn't really been paying attention, but he had mentioned something about the forbidden being united. Pathetic.
Most of the vampires had already retreated to their homes, and the itchy sensation the sun was causing on my skin warned me to do the same. I scanned the area one last time before heading to my cave. The thought that he had gone to do his 'beautiful' suicide wouldn't leave my mind. I knew he could be an idiot sometimes, but he wasn't this stupid to stay out during the sun, was he? Reaching my cave, relief filled me at seeing him sitting in the middle staring at the wall.
"Why didn't you tell me you were going to come straight here?" I chastised him. He gave me a sideways glance for a moment before completely ignoring me and staring back at the wall. What had brought this sudden mood? It wasn't as if today was any different from any other day. I watched as he played with one of the 'forget-me-not's in his hands. There was a solemn expression on his face. "Lelouch?" I questioned silently. He had the kind of composure that if I was too loud it would frighten him.
He stopped playing with the flower in his hand for a second and gave me a questioning look. "What's wrong?" I asked. I didn't know if he would tell me, but I felt the need to ask because I needed know. "Do you know what today is?" Was all he said before absently fingering the forget-me-not's petals. "Thursday? April 25?" I responded, not sure what he was going with this.
He nodded, "yes. The 25." I was becoming impatient again as Lelouch became quiet and ignored me once more. "Well? What about it?" "The anniversary of the day when all hell broke loose. The day when your selfishness killed my family." He had crushed the flower between his fingers, and his eyes were becoming red as he glared at me. I was taken back as he said those words. For him to remember the date, it meant that he had been holding all this hatred for 50 years. "Why bring this up now?"
I waited for him to answer, but he seemed to busy trying to control his labored breathing. "You're the one who forced me to be here. You're the one who decided that today, of all days, would be the day that we kept watch. Do you think I fucking care about these vampires? These murderers?" His claws and teeth were out, his eyes red, and I finally realized that it was indeed true that on this day, every year, he would disappear.
"Every year, I leave on this day because the pain and hatred is too much to bear." His voice went low, and I understood now why he wanted to cry. "When I was human, I could release all this pain by crying, but now, I can't cry." He turned back to me and looked me in the eyes, "do you know how it feels to hold all your pain for 50 years?" I shook my head, not knowing what else to do.
He looked back at the wall, "it's like your heart is being gripped tightly, and it's ironic since I no longer have one." He stood from the ground he had been sitting on and walked towards the cave entrance. "You wouldn't understand the emotions of a human." He murmured. I didn't reply and could only watch silently as he began walking into the sunlight outside.
There really was no real plot to this. I was in school, and as usual, random lines and made up scenes came into my head. One was an image of a boy almost in tears saying the line, "Why can't vampires cry?" to his companion. And thus this story was born.
As for using Lelouch and Suzaku in the story, I just didn't know who else to put. And I just randomly pick them, though I do love this couple as well, with Suzaku as seme.
Well that's all for now, Ja Ne!