Jane has learned to live with pain instead of merely surviving, though some might disagree. He's just found a different purpose in life: that people doesn't approve doesn't make it any less of a purpose.
He's never stopped imagining how his life would be had he withdrawn from the public eye, like his wife wished – he never started, how could he stop? Instead, their timeless ghosts haunt him worse than Red John's; his guilt and shame is reflected in their eyes.
There's a moment, just before he falls asleep, that he reaches for her in the dark before he remembers.