If it says 'Taylor' anywhere, sorry about that I changed her name

Everyone has secrets. James Potter had secrets. Lily Evans had secrets. Sirius Black had secrets. Remus Lupine had secrets. And Cassidy Beckam had secrets. Secrets are part of human nature. Telling other peoples secrets also is. It's just what people do in general. That why some secrets are meant to be shared, and some are meant to be taken to the grave.

The Potters and the Beckams were family friends. Which is why over the summer, instead of staying with her cousin, Cassidy occupied the spare bedroom next to James's one. Over time, the two teens went from being family friends to just good friends. The kind of friends you choose to be around. Cassidy was just as foolish as the Marauders. She was a hopeless romantic, just like how James was with Lily. Yet she was still very much of a player similar to Sirius. Cassidy was rational and could talk James out of anything, quite like Remus. And both her and Peter were outsiders of the group. But she was only an outsider because she was a girl.

Even though she was what everyone called a 'technical Marauder' (meaning she was, yet at the same time she wasn't part of the group), she still kept secrets from them. As far as the Potters were concerned, her parents went away all summer every summer and that was why she always stayed with them. In actuality, her parents hated and beat her. They were the only ones who ever thought about her parents. No one else ever considered anything about her family life. In addition to the secret of her parents, no one knew what was hidden under her robes. Her arms were covered in a combination of scars and fresh cuts which was like a piece of artwork to her. She was unhealthily skinny. Everyone thought she just had a high metabolism. The reality was that yes she did have a high metabolism, but she barely let any of her food have an opportunity to digest.

Everyday she found herself on the floor of the girls lavatory about four times. On her knees, bent over a toilet. Once after breakfast but before classes. Once after lunch. Another time after dinner. And one more time before bed just to make sure she didn't miss any food that could have possibly gone down. No one was ever suspicious. After all, she ate a substantial amount of food. To the point where she should have been teetering somewhere remotely around a bit over weight. The boys didn't understand a girls body so they didn't wonder too much. The girls just thought she was lucky to look so perfectly skinny. But they never saw her ribs which stuck out. Sometimes they saw her collarbones which were much to prominent. But some peoples collarbones were just like that.

Her day was usually full of lots of movement. After all, she was a Marauder and her best friend was Lily Evans. Cassidy never tried to get Lily into the group. She knew the way she felt about James. And the way she said she thought about him. So she respected that she didn't want to get into that. However, the one thing she couldn't stop James from doing was approaching her and trying to win the poor girls heart. Lots of times, she just stood back and watched with the rest if the boys.

One winter day, she was in the common room with her best friend. They were talking about the normal stuff teenage girls talked about. The Marauders sauntered through the door, much to Lily's dismay. James came over to the two and sat between them and began to strike up conversation with the red haired girl. Laughing silently to herself, Cassidy stood up, struggling a bit due to the fact that James had practically sat on her, and stood with the rest of the group.

"Merlin, it's kind of pathetic really." Sirius said, crossing her arms. "He can't only go after her, he has to broaden his horizons so he doesn't seem desperate."

Cassidy scoffed at him, "No wonder you never get laid, you don't know how to get a girl." Turning to face him, she put her hands on her boney hips. Though to her, all she felt was fat. She didn't feel the indent of hip bone that stuck out into her hand. She just felt the fact that her hips had some sort of width. "Let me teach you, Sirius." She said to some her attention, "A girl would much rather prefer a love sick puppy type like James than a flirt and a man whore type like you. So if you want some action, you might want to work on that."

A smirk spread onto the boys lips, "So you're saying if I was more like a drooling idiot you'd be wiling to sleep with me?"

At this point James and Lily were no longer in their conversation. Cassidy was tankful they were the only ones in the common room. If anyone else were there, she'd probably die of embarrassment. Around her friends, she was a confident head-held-high kind of girl. But when they weren't around she was an embarrassed, self incriminating mess. She closed her eyes for a moment to keep her demeanor composed before opening her eyes and facing Sirius again.

"That is not what I said, Black." She said, shifting her weight to her left leg. "What I said is that if maybe you showed some dedication and just a little bit of a care for a girl, any girl, then maybe they'd be more accepting of your sickly fantasies. Any girl, but me."

Sirius stepped forward until he was only an inch, perhaps just centimeters, away from her. One of his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to him. His hand on his other arm found it's way to under her chin, forcing her face to be locked into it's position. "I know you fancy me, Cassidy. Everyone does. So just submit to me already."

The girl put her hands on his chest and pushed him away just enough so that she was no longer in his tight grasp. Moving her hair out of her eyes, she took a deep breath to recompose herself. "The only reason you think I fancy you is because you're completely smitten with me. That's really what everyone knows. You're the one who should be submitting. Not to me, but to your feelings for me. So you have fun doing that, I'm going to bed."

In one swift motion, Cassidy turned on her heels and walked up the stairs to her dorm, making sure not to go to fast, and quickly shut the door. Not too loud, but also not too quietly. Just loud enough for them to hear it and to hear the seriousness in her actions. Gathering her night clothes and her bag of toiletries, she went into the bathroom and locked the door.

Undressing until she was in her underwear, she looked at herself in the mirror. She was a pretty girl. Cassidy had long blond hair, with side bangs that covered her left eye. Her skin was on the pale side which she liked. It wasn't a sickly pale shade, but more of a 'I just don't go out in the sun during the summer' kind of skin color. Her lips were light pink and chapped, but she didn't really care about that too much. Cassidy looked into the eyes of the reflection in front of her. The eyes were grey and revealed the inner depression she was battling if she looked hard enough. Those eyes were so different now in her fifth year than on the first day of school in her first year. They were so filled with excitement and happiness then. Oh how she longed to go back.

Cassidy completed her nightly routine before heading to bed. This consisted of getting changed to her night clothes, brushing out her golden hair, taking off her make up, running a blade across her skin until she was satisfied with the new addition to her masterpiece, kneeling in front of the toilet and sticking her fingers down her throat, then more than thoroughly brushing her teeth so no one would smell the vomit on her breath. It was satisfying to her. It gave her the ability to lay in bed with some sort of content feeling. The emptiness in her stomach was like a silent lullaby. And the heat being emitted from her wrist was a warmth that no blanket could give her.

Slowly, she drifted off to sleep, not very excited about getting up in the morning as usual.