Disclaimer:
I don't own any of these characters, spells, places, ect, they all belong to JK Rowling, you know the drill.It was a peacefully mellow evening in mid-summer at the Burrow when it happened, when I and another one of my closest friends decided to release the things we'd kept cooped up in ourselves for so long. After spending four consecutive summers at the Burrow and sharing a room with her, Ginny and I were nigh inseparable. But there were things that we didn't share with each other, things that we came to learn we could always bounce off each other when the need arose. But at that stage, both of us still had our own seemingly 'dirty' little secrets.
"Are you ok up there?" I called up to the bunk over me. It was coming up to one 'o' clock in the morning and everyone except us two was asleep in the House of Weasley.
"I'm…alright," Ginny replied, but I could tell she was lying.
"What's the matter?" I asked, rolling my eyes.
"It's nothing, I'm just a bit cold," she said. I could hear her teeth chattering and guessed the truth.
"It doesn't sound like you're a bit cold, more like a lot."
"Ok, I'm really cold," she admitted, "I've got this big thick quilt over me and I'm still freezing."
"Do you want me to get a blanket or something?" I asked.
"No, that'll just make me uncomfortable and then I'll never get to sleep."
"You're so fussy sometimes," I said, grinning. "What're you gonna do then?"
She laughed quietly and said, "I guess I'll just lie here and freeze to death." There was a pause and she added under her breath, "Although maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea."
"What?" I asked sharply.
"Nothing."
"I heard it, Gin. What do you mean by that?" I asked.
"It's just...I can't really... it doesn't matter." She muttered.
I climbed out of bed and stood on the bottom step of the ladder to look at her. Her pale green eyes peered back at me, like a frightened deer's in the glow of car headlights. I softened for a moment and said, "What's bothering you so much?"
She avoided my gaze and mumbled, "I can't talk about it, it's not right."
"What's not right?" I asked curiously.
"It doesn't matter."
"I think it matters a lot. Otherwise you wouldn't be so frightened of telling me about it." Then something dawned on me. "Wait, this 'problem' thing is the reason why you've been so quiet lately, isn't it?"
No," she said with wide eyes, another reminder of a frightened deer in the path of a car.
"Yes it is," I carried on, " That's the reason why you look so tired all the time, and why your laughs are always forced, and why you haven't been eating lately!"
"No, no it's not!" she protested weakly, as if she didn't even have the strength to argue back.
I looked at her in pity. "What problem can be so bad that it changes your daily routines and personality?" Something stirred at the back of my mind, the memory of a problem eating away at me in a similar way a while ago. But no, her problem couldn't be that. I mean…it was Ginny. She wouldn't be bothered with something like that, no way.
She shivered violently. I frowned and said, "Look, I'll make you a deal. I'll stay up here and keep you warm, if you tell me what's been bugging you, ok?" The pale girl nodded in consent, and I clambered into bed next to her as she moved over. My hand brushed against one of her arms and she flinched back. I stared in shock, both at her reaction and at the lack of heat I felt from the contact.
"My gosh, Ginny, you're freezing…" I said sorrowfully. She gave a half-shrug and I could see the tears she was fighting, gathering in the corners of her eyes. "Oh no, don't cry, come here.." I reached my arms around her body and pulled her close. She let out a half-sob and tried to pull away, but my grip remained firm and after a minute's weak struggle she stopped and accepted it. After a while, I let go and looked at her tear-stained face in sympathy. It was like a reflection of my own all those months ago, and I felt my heart breaking just looking at her.
"Now, tell me what's the matter," I murmured, "It'll help if you talk to someone."
She gazed at me in silence for a moment, then said quietly, "I can't tell you the exact problem, but I'll try some of it."
I nodded and she gave a deep breath before starting.
"It started a couple of months ago. Everything was just fine and I was going about my days as normal. But then…something changed. I started to see another side to something I'd grown up being taught was the right thing. It scared me at first, and I tried to tell myself that it was wrong and bad, but another part of me said, "Why is it wrong?" adn I couln't think of an answer. Every time I'm faced with something that reminds me of it, I can't take it, and it's killing me. It haunts my thoughts all day, and I can't sleep at night because I lay there thinking about it. I don't talk at school because I'm scared at what other people would say if they found out. I'm scared all the time of acting on this thing by accident, and being shunned when people find out. At home, I sit around all day, just wanting to life to end, to get away from reality. It won't leave me alone, and I'm scared." She ended on a slightly hysterical note, breathing rapidly. Her breaths slowed down as we laid in silence for a moment, each thinking deeply.
In my head, my thoughts were whirling round in shock. The things Ginny had just described, coupled with her flinching at my touch before, added up to one conclusion. I had felt the very same things when I lay at home months before in a state of confused depression. If I was right, and she was feeling the same things I had, then…
"You're right, I do feel a little better," Her voice sounded, slightly more serene now. "Thanks."
I sat in shock still as she settled down and closed her eyes. Then I made up my mind to do something. If I was wrong, sure, I was screwed, and probably friendless after word got out. But then again, I didn't actually think I was wrong.
I looked at Ginny's pale, pointed face, and all the feelings I had felt that had caused my depression, that I thought I'd fought off rather than just put off, came rushing back to me. I moved slightly closer to her and was grateful when she didn't notice. I pulled my hand out from under the covers and reached up to cup her cold, pallid face. Her eyes fluttered open in confusion, and I said softly, "Remember all those months ago, when I came to school and you said I looked depressed?"
She nodded, her mouth open just a crack.
"Well, I was actually going through everything you just described." Her eyes widened so much it looked comical, and she said, "Then that means you're - you -"
I nodded and smiled fondly. Then I moved forward and did something I'd been longing to do for ages.
I kissed her.
It was sweet, just a short kiss, but I could tell it had a great effect on her. She drew in a deep breath, then let it out contentedly, and her body relaxed. I broke away and looked at her. She still had that look of bemusement on her face for a moment, and then it gave way to the first smile I'd seen her give in weeks. She leaned over to me this time, and this kiss was longer. It was like nothing I'd ever felt with a boy. It was electrifying, and I could tell that she felt the same way. We broke apart once more, and she snuggled up contentedly to me. I smiled and kissed her softly on the top of her head, and we both fell into a peaceful sleep until the morning, when the early bird's morning chorus and Ron and Harry rushing downstairs eagerly to a full english breakfast would wake us up. We would look at each other and smile, and then cuddle up in perfect contention.
It's always nice to know you've got a friend.
