Bros til the end
Chapter One
Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any related characters
It was a day like any other. Jakob woke up late and got dressed and went on downstairs to see his best friend and room mate, Sonic the hedgehog on the couch playing a game of call of duty.
"You pwning?" Jakob asked his friend while shaking his head to flip his hair out of his eyes.
"You bet your ass I am, grab a controller bro" Sonic replied.
After an hour or so, Sonic got up to get them some mountain dews. They drank it down heavily when Sonic asked Jakob a question
"Did you hear the latest from Ukraine? It's really sad to see how far Ukraine has fallen since the days of the Soviet Union, now there's neo-nazis everywhere, I hope the people there are safe from them." Sonic said.
"Yeah, I think it's really gross that the bourgeoisie media is portraying Russia as the aggressors and some leftists are using this crisis to argue that it's imperialist because of it. The majority of Crimeans wanted to be citizens of Russia and not the Ukraine, and Russia has historical and cultural ties and claims to Crimea regardless. " Jakob retorted.
After a lunch of chicken sandwiches and doritos, Sonic and Jakob hopped into their Honda Civic to drive to town to hang out with their good friend Knuckles. As they were driving down the road Jakob got a text message from his girlfriend, Demi Lovato.
"Hey bb are you free tonight? I miss you" it read.
"Of course. Come meet up with us at Knucks'!" Jakob replied.
After a short drive, they got out the car and knuckles greeted both of them with a big echidna hug. It's like a bear hug but when an echidna does it. "I've missed you guys so damn much!" Knuckles shouted.
"So did we" Sonic said.
They went inside and immediately started chugging mountain dews, gamers need their fuel.
"Ugh" knuckles said. "I Just wish Palestine would be free and Israel was liquidated already. I had to defriend another person from facebook just now who turned out to be a Zionist. No time for that shit in 2015. "Knuckles shook his head.
Just then, Jakob thought of a really good tweet and tweeted from his phone. It said "Why do they call it hanging out? No one's on any hooks here!" He looked at his joke approvingly and showed his phone to his bros and they laughed at how clever he is. There was a knock at the door and then Demi threw the door open and ran in to hug her boyf, Jakob.
"Boo boo!" She exclaimed before kissing him very romantically.
There was a loud rumble outside and the gang ran out to see what it was. They saw a plane wrecked on the ground as if it were shot by a missile (it was). Their peaceful Caribbean town on the island of Angelico was under attack by America!
"Oh no, everyone quick, get in my basement!" Knuckles shouted at the neighborhood. The gang all ran back in and hid in his basement while fighting went on outside. Demi got out a radio while the boys looked scared.
This just in, American forces have attacked our island. Please seek shelter while we attempt to fight them off. Current motives for this attack are unknown but it is suspected due to our support of currently existing socialist states and criticisms of American imperialism by our leader, President Snow [from Final Fantasy XIII- author] The present is currently safe and again, he orders all citizens not currently in the military to seek shelter immediately.
Jakob looked in fear; he couldn't believe it had finally come to this. Angelico and America had been very uneasy in recent years as Angelico had recently had a revolution and was socialist now. America had denounced them for "human rights abuses" earlier this month but refused to elaborate just what those abuses were. Jakob then realized he had his Nintendo 3DS in his pocket so he got it out and played some Pokémon. He had already beat the elite four in Pokemon Black and had only owned the game for a few days. He decided to level up his trusty Zebstrika. Jakob really likes Zebstrika because he really loves zebras. Demi went down and put her arms around Jakob to make him feel better because she could tell he's afraid that they'll die. The sounds of gun fire outside were getting louder and closer.
"I know! Let's all sing a song" Sonic shouted. They then began to sing "Sing" by My Chemical Romance while Knuckles played bass guitar and sonic played guitar. They had a lot of fun and then played every song on Fall Out Boy's Folie A Deux. Jakob had stopped playing his 3DS at this point and had joined in on drums while Demi played the keyboard. They were having a lot of fun that they didn't even hear the all clear and that fighting had stopped! It wasn't until a few hours later that they realized it had been quiet for a long time and ventured upstairs when they found a dead American soldier inside. They turned on the tv and the news reporter, Caesar Milan, the dog whisperer, came on.
"Fighting today on the island of Angelico as American forces attempted to 'liberate' the people from socialism. Fortunately, the Cuban army arrived and helped Angelico quell the invasion. Tensions are still high and we have reports that the UN is investigating the matter and reprimanding America for this. Consequences still remain unknown. Zero civilian casualties have been reported so far."
"Well that's a relief" Jakob sighed.
Just then there was a knock at the door. WHO COULD IT BE?
TO BE CONTINUED