"Who is she?" I hear as I slowly wake up, not yet opening my eyes,
"Who cares she can't stay anyway," comes another voice. Different. Harsher,
"Mike, her arm," I can feel it now. The throbbing pain in my left arm getting stronger as I become more aware of my surroundings, "Is she...dead?" A nervous voice says. It's a girl, a young girl who can't be more than 7 or 8. I feel dead. The pain in my arm is stronger and my head hurts more than anything, "No," I manage to croak out, opening my eyes and wincing as the bright hall light almost blinds me. Standing over me is a group of people who can't be related. I don't know or recognise any of them, "Hi," a boy roughly my age says finally after a long awkward silence, "Hello," I give a weak smile before a wave of dizziness washes over me and I feel myself slipping back into unconsciousness, "Okay you lot, move back," an older man who had been standing at the back says. He's Irish, like me, "Can you hear me?"
"What if she needs an ambulance?" the boy from before says worriedly,
"Shh,"
"Yes," I mumble, "I can hear you,"
"Good. Can you tell me your name?"
"Caoilainn,"
"Ok, Caoilainn, I need to make some calls about what we're going to do with you," he smiles warmly. I know that sort of smile, though. It's the smile people use to reassure others when deep down they know everything's falling to pieces, "Call who?"
"Social Services," Ugh. Social Services. It's their fault I'm here. If they could mind their own business I would be fine right now, with my mum and brothers. Maybe not my mum. She has important stuff to do most of the time so I don't see her much, but Kian looks after just as well. He used to at least, "Caoilainn?" I snap out of my day dream at the sound of my own name, "Go to the living room with Johnny and the others please?" He smiles again and I look to the right to see the boy who said hi looking at me expectantly. I guess he's Johnny. I struggle slightly getting to my feet and, walking to the big double doors to the living room, I'm slightly wobbly, "So who actually are you?" Johnny asks as soon as I sit down on the comfy sofa. I knew the questions would come sooner or later. It was sooner, rather than later, "I told you, I'm Caoilainn," I sigh, exasperated,
"Yes but what happened to you? You know, your arm and head," I haven't dared look to my arm yet and I can't see my head. I'm probably in a right state, "An explosion," I mumble. There's a lot more people gathered than before and I wait for their reaction. I don't get one though because a familiar voice catches my attention, "Caoilainn! What are you doing here?! And what on earth happened to you?!" I look to where the voice is coming from and see someone I know quite well. I say quite, I mean very, "Tyler?" I'm right. Tyler makes his way to the front and sits down next to me, "No offence, Kee, but you're in a right state,"
"Tell me about it," I manage to laugh before something quite important pops into my mind, "Where's-" I don't get to finish that sentence because someone interrupts me with, "Hey, Squint,"
"-Rick?" I finish my sentence, a smile growing on my face,
"Guess you just couldn't keep away then?"
"Yes, that was 100% it," I say sarcastically,
"Was it my amazing good looks?"
"Of course," I start to laugh again, but suddenly Ricks quiet,
"Where did you go, Squint?" Squint is his nickname for me, but I still have no idea why because he's never told me. I suppose it could be because when I was younger I needed glasses. I've got contacts now so I don't need to squint, but the nickname still stuck, "So wait you two actually know her?" Says the same harsh voice from before. Now I can see that it was the older girl with the blue highlights who said it, "Why wouldn't we?" Rick starts,
"It is kinda difficult to forget someone who you survived Burneywood with," Tyler finishes then looks back at me and smiles. It's true. We looked out for each other back at Burneywood. We stayed out of trouble together, got into trouble together and basically just looked out for each other. Like that film, Lilo and Stitch, where Ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind. They made up for the family I was taken away from. Almost,"That's it!" A girl shouts. I can't see who it is, there are too many people and the dizziness is starting to come back, "That's where I know her from. She was at Burneywood," I can see the girl who spoke now. All...pink and fluffy. Huh. Her voice isn't fluffy, let me tell you. She's glaring at me with accusing eyes and actually so are the others come to think of it. I do remember her but I don't know what she's getting annoyed over. I didn't even do anything to her, "Squint are you okay?" Rick asks, grabbing my hand suddenly concerned. I don't get the chance to answer as the dizziness gets stronger. All I can do is shake my head quickly, scrunching my eyes up tight, "Get Mike," I hear Rick say to the small crowd of kids, "Now!" He says more urgently. I don't know what happens next because I still have my eyes shut. All I can feel is the grip on my hand getting tighter, "Rick get me the phone please," Mike, the head care worker here, half asks and half demands, "But-"
"Now please, Rick," My hand is let go of and I hear him stomp out of the living room to get the phone, muttering all sorts of things under his breath, "Mike?" Tyler asks nervously,
"Yes, Tyler,"
"What's wrong with Caoilainn? Will she be ok?" Mike sighs,
"I don't know. We'll have to wait for the ambulance to get here then we'll find out," Rick is back. Or someone else is holding my hand. No, it is him. I can hear Mike on the phone to the ambulance. The last thing I hear is the alarmingly loud screech of the ambulance siren before everything goes black.
Let me tell you about myself. I'm Caoilainn O'Connor and I'm 14 years old. I'm in care, well I was until I got fostered. Now I get the feeling that I'm back and for good this time. No one wants to foster the older kids. They're the kids with problems, the ones who are past being cute. Basically the ones way past their fostering sell by date. I got lucky, getting fostered at 13. When I hit 11 and started going to secondary school I thought I'd be in care until I was 16. A couple called Beth and Chris wanted to foster me. I said yes, of course I did. You don't turn down foster parents. I guess I sort of forgot about the make-shift family I'd found at Burneywood. It's my fault I'm in hospital right now. We made an agreement to look after each other, but I broke it by leaving. It's Karma.
It turns out I've got concussion. The nurse came in yesterday to tell me that I need to stay the night. Sometime today I can go home. Hmm. Home. I don't really have a home anymore. My arm is a bit more serious. It's broken, in more than one place, but there's also a large cut from my wrist to the inside of my elbow. There's no way that isn't going to leave an ugly scar for the rest of my life, "Hey, Squint," I look up to see Rick pulling the curtain closed after him. I purposefully closed it. Life right now is bad enough without evil gawping from the other kids in the ward, "Hi," I smile, pushing a lock of hair behind my ears with my right hand, "You didn't answer my question. Where did you go?"
"Sorry. I was a little bit busy trying not to die, Rick," I laugh, trying to dodge the question for the second time, "I called, but your foster mum said you weren't in,"
"Beth..." I whisper,
"I'm sorry?"
"Beth, that's her name. She never said you called," I say, confused. Why would she lie about something like that? "I ran away," I say finally. There's no shock expression from Rick, only silence until he says, "I guessed,"
"How?"
"Oh come on, Kee. You turn up in the middle of the night in a right state; dirty clothes, broken arm, messed up head," I bite on my bottom lip. I've got different clothes on now. They belong to someone called Tee. She's just over a year younger than me but I'm small so they fit just fine. I feel much better than I did last night. I've got fresh clothes, had a shower and the best meal I've had in weeks. And, above all, they've given me some painkillers for my arm. The doctors said not to worry if I don't remember how it happened, but the thing is that I do, "I was living in London, Rick, but then..." I shiver,
"What?!"
"A bomb, well, lots of them. A terrorist attack, Rick," I almost snap. Rick falls silent and looks to the ground, "Sorry," I sigh. He stays silent for a while then smiles,
"Nah, s'not your fault," he pauses then says slowly, "I'm glad you're back, Squint. I missed you,"
We get back to Elm Tree house at noon. It's a Saturday so everyone is still here, most of them in the living room, and I don't have the added worry of school, "Caoilainn, you'll be sharing a room with Carmen. She's about your age and her rooms the biggest,"
"Can't I have my own room?" I ask nervously. Mostly because I don't like sharing a room. I can't sleep without the light on and I hate having other people in the room while I'm sleeping. It's also partly because I'm going to share with Carmen. Carmen is the pink and fluffy girl from before. She seems to have a problem with me, "No, I'm sorry. There are no other rooms," I let out a prolonged sigh then follow Rick to the living room. Carmen, Johnny and Tee are playing snooker as I walk through the double doors much more confidently than I did the day before, "Hi," I give a small wave. Only Tee looks up,
"Hi! You're Caoilainn right?" She smiles brightly. I return her smile and nod,
"Tee!" Johnny hisses, becoming Tee over to him,
"I thought we weren't going to talk to her," Carmen whispers. She's not a very good whisperer, "We can't just not talk to her. Anyway she seems nice," Tee whispers back in my defence, "Nah you can't trust people like her. Stay away from her, Tee," Johnny whispers firmly then pots another ball like nothing happened. I'm left confused and a bit upset. It's always hard in a new place where no one knows you, but I've never had people actually agree to not talk to me. And what did Johnny mean? People like me? What's wrong with 'people like me'? "Ah so gypsy girl's back then?" I turn around to see Elektra, the girl with the harsh voice and the blue streaks in her hair, "What?" I clench my fists and fix her in a glare, "Oh yes. We know all about you, you dirty little pikey," That's all it takes for me to lose it. Before I can stop myself I have hold of a clump of her hair and her hand is on my face trying to push me off of her, "Told you," I hear Johnny say smugly behind me, "She's dangerous, look at her," I let go of Elektra and turn to face Johnny. If I had gotten the chance I would've killed him, but a firm hand on my shoulder stops me before I can get within a metre of him, "He's not worth it, Squint," I nod slowly and let my best friend lead me out of the living room, up stairs, down corridors and finally through a wooden door. His room. I feel the tears start to prick in my eyes as he hugs me tight, being careful not to hurt my arm which is in a lime green cast and held in a sling too, "Caoilainn it's okay," he whispers using my full name,
"No, it's not," I say firmly, "Is everyone in this place as racist as them?"
"It's not rac-" He starts,
"Yes. It is," I say even more firmly through gritted teeth,
"Okay," he says calmly, avoiding an argument, "I'll talk to them," I give him a look that says 'yeah right', "I'm serious. They can't make you cry and get away with it, Squint," I give him a small smile, "And, Kee?"
"Yeah," I reply. Rick sighs loudly then rolls his eyes,
"You can have my room. I'll move in with Tyler,"
"Really?" This is probably the nicest thing anyone has done for me since I ran away from Beth and Chris' and it must show because Rick laughs and ruffles my hair, "Yeah, Squint. Really,"