Saving Richie Novak…..
Part 1: The Little Girl with the Flaxen Hair and Her Mommy's Eyes.
Richie awoke to see two large brown eyes and a shock of flaxen hair peering up at him as he lay in the hospital bed.
"Uncle Richie! Uncle Richie! Are you ok? I made you something to cheer you up. I've been scared". She said softly, her small voice quivering and her eyes overflowing with tears.
"Emma-what are you doing here? Does your mommy know you're here?"
"She's yelling at Grandpa and they weren't looking at me".
"Oh, honey. Your mom isn't gonna like you being in here with me. Little kids aren't supposed to be in here, you know". He pulled himself up in the bed so he could see Emma's face more clearly as he spoke to her. To Richie's amazement she looked like she might start crying again. "Oh, no honey. Don't cry. Please". Richie started panicking as he had no idea what to do to make Emma stop crying.
"Here, honey, let me see what you made". He said in desperation. He stuck out his hand to let Emma givehim what appeared to be a drawing. She gave him the picture in between sniffles, suddenly seeming a little shy as she did so.
Richie looked at the picture. It was a picture of EmmaAnnie, Ryan and him all together. In front of a Christmas tree that Emma said proudly "I helped decorate Uncle Richie"!
"That's beautiful, honey" Richie suddenly felt a pang of loneliness inside his heart. It was a feeling he'd learned long ago to bury. It was not a good idea to show loneliness or anything that could be perceived as weakness in prison.
Emma's smile and her innocence in thinking this was the kind of family holiday they would have was as heartbreaking as it was touching.
"Will you be there for Christmas Uncle Richie? I missed you at Thanksgiving".
"I would love to be there, sweetheart" he said. To his surprise he felt that there was a part of him that was telling the truth. He didn't know why, but suddenly he felt that it would have been good if he and Annie were close. The way they were when they were kids, before everything went so wrong between them. Before she betrayed him. Before the long punishment that he didn't deserve started and she never stepped in to stop it
Now here was the spitting image of Annie, looking at him the way Annie used to when they were little. The same adoration, the same love. The same innocence.
"Come here, sweetie". He said.
Emma ran to him He picked her up and sat her on the bed with him. "I don't want you to worry about me, sweetie. I am going to be fine. I just look bad because I hadn't seen my favorite niece in awhile."
Emma giggled and clung to his neck. He cuddled her to him and gave her a kiss. Just then Annie came in and opened her mouth like she was going to start yelling. She stopped when she saw the look on Richie's face, and the smile on Emma's lips.
"Mommy, mommy!" She giggled and jumped up and down in Richie's lap. "Uncle Richie is going to be ok. And I want him to come to Christmas dinner. Ok?"
Annie's eyes clouded over with tears as she saw the joy in Emma's eyes. She only hoped that Richie would not take that away from her
"We'll see how he feels,honey" she said with a strained smile.
"No, no you have to say yes now!" Her lip quivered and she seemed on the verge of tears again.
"Uncle Richie is fine. He's fine."!
"Ok, Emma sweetie. He can come".
"I want to see Uncle Richie again. I have to give him more presents so he can get all better". She squeezed Richie around his neck, and kissed him. He kissed her back.
"You know Emma, you're not supposed to be here to begin with. I'm not sure you can come back".
"NO, NO" She cried. "I have to see Uncle Richie. He won't get better if I don't see him Mommy"!
"O-ok, honey. You can come back. Don't be sad, honey. Now come here."
Richie looked at Emma and said softly "its ok, sweetie. I'll be ok. I love you, and I can't wait to see you again" He kissed Emma, and she kissed him back on his cheek.
Richie closed his eyes and remembered when Annie used to kiss him like that. Back when she thought he was some kind of hero. Instead of some kind of murdering psychotic.
Annie picked Emma up, and said to Richie "I'll bring her back another time. But she can't stay too long".
She walked away, but as she did so both she and Emma turned back and looked at Richie.
"They look like the same person" Richie thought with a smile.
For the first time in a long time, Richie didn't feel anger,hatred or even fear or sadness. He felt at peace.
Richie looked down at the picture in his hand and ran his fingers over it. He smiled again.
Maybe something good was going to happen, after all.
The next day a very reluctant Ryan brought a beaming Emma to Richie's room.
"Uncle Richie"! She exclaimed, jumping into his arms and kissing him. "Are you feeling better?" she asked, her little brows furrowed in worry.
Although he really wasn't feeling that much better he thought it best not to tell Emma that. "Yes, I feel much better since you visited me yesterday and brought me that picture". He smiled and took the picture down from behind his bed. "You made me feel better". She smiled at him again and threw her arms around his neck.
Richie hugged her back and smiled, and then saw Ryan's eyes glaring at him from behind Emma.
"Are you staying, Ryan"? He asked ,
Ryan continued to glower at Richie and asked Emma to go out to the nurse's station and ask Aunt Julia for some paper and crayons so she could draw some more pictures.
"Ok, Daddy". She said and jumped off the bed, though not before kissing Richie again.
As soon as she walked out Ryan said" Don't think for one second that I'm letting you near my daughter alone. I didn't want to go through with this. I didn't think Annie would be taken in by you again. But she was, and if my daughter has to be here than I will be, too."
Richie grimaced at the familiar nasty tone of his brother in law. "You know, Ryan. I didn't ask Emma to come into my room yesterday. She just did that on her own because she has a good heart and she was worried about me. Now, if I had thrown her out you would have said I was heartless. I was nice to her and you think that was wrong, too? I told her that she probably shouldn't be coming to the hospital to see me, so did Annie. But she started crying so much that Annie relented. She wasn't "taken in "by me. I wasn't trying to have her be taken in by me. So if you don't want her here please tell her that, because I sure as hell am not going to do it."
As Emma returned at that moment Ryan did not respond. Richie smiled at him, and then turned his attention back to Emma.
"Sweetheart, do you want us to draw together"? He asked.
"I want you to tell me a story like my mommy does" .she said. "Then we can draw it. Can we, Uncle Richie"?
"A story?" Richie thought for a moment back to when he and Annie were children. There were a few that he could remember, and he thought of one that he and Annie had both liked and began telling her that one.
She sat enraptured and when he was done she clapped her hands and demanded that they draw it right away.
Richie tried to avoid Ryan's eyes as he told the story, but when he finished and Emma asked for them to draw it she turned to Ryan and said "Daddy, help us"!
"No, honey, you and Uncle Richie can do it on your own. I'll just watch."
"No, help us Daddy"
Ryan sighed because he really could not say no to her when she looked at him like that, and he looked up to find Richie grinning at him.
"What are you grinning about"? He asked.
"I was just thinking it's not easy to say no to Emma, is it"?
"Ok, you made your point. I was wrong to assume you tricked Annie into bringing Emma here. She obviously loves her Uncle." "Though I don't know why" he thought to himself.
As if he could read his mind Richie said" You can't think why though, right"?
"What the fuck is he doing? Reading my mind now"? Ryan thought.
"I never said that" he replied with as much dignity as he could muster considering he was blushing.
Richie just laughed, and for awhile the only sounds came from Emma, who was exclaiming at the drawings they were making. She also took over supervising what they were drawing so they could "show Mommy the story".
When Annie walked in she was astonished at the image of Richie, Ryan and Emma all drawing intently, and Emma's breathless laughter when she'd see something they were drawing she thought was funny. She saw Richie look at Ryan and actually smile at him. When Ryan smiled back a little she thought she must be hallucinating.
"Hi, everything ok here"?
"Mommy!" Emma ran over to Annie and brought her over to the bed."Look what we're making"!
"It's beautiful, baby." Annie said, and her face changed as she saw the story they were putting into pictures."That's"-
"Our story" Richie finished for her.
For a moment Annie felt like time slipped away, and she was back with Richie when they were children.
"You remembered that"? She asked.
"I never forgot anything". He replied.
Joe came in just then and said he had to examine Richie.
Annie took Emma's hand and said they'd have to leave for now.
Predictably, Emma started crying at that news. She only calmed down when she was assured by Ryan that they could come back and see Richie.
Richie looked at Ryan in some astonishment and winked at him.
Ryan looked momentarily taken aback, and then they got up to leave.
Ryan gave Richie the drawing Emma had done. "Add this to the other picture "he said. He looked embarrassed about what he'd said to Richie before.
Richie took the picture and smiled at him. Then he looked at Emma and held out his arms. "I'll see you soon, honey. Thanks for coming to see me, Emma. I know you made me feel better. I love you".
"I love you too, Uncle Richie.
"Come back soon" Richie called out. He didn't mean that only for Emma, though. To his amazement he meant that for Annie, too. And Ryan.
He was confused by what was happening, but had to admit it was better than the tension present between all of them up until now.
He looked at the picture and smiled at Emma writing "I love you" on the bottom of her drawing.
He wasn't shocked or confused to realize he felt the same way about her.