A/N: Please, whatever you do, do not take this story seriously. This idea popped into my head at 3am.

Asia Breedan, an eighteen year old college freshman, has been interning for The Shield during the summer for about five weeks. Since she has been working with the three large men, she has turned not only The Shield's lives upside down, but also the entire WWE locker room is flipped because of her, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Since the young girl's arrival, the locker rooms have been filled with more laughter and pranks than ever before. Much to The Shield's dismay, however, this girl is the reason for the three men's inability to trust anyone backstage or to even sleep without fear of waking up with a shaven head.

~Pizza Roll Mondays~

"Dean, give it back!"

Asia's loud, feminine voice is what jerked the powerhouse, Roman Reigns out of his relaxed state. Catering was surprisingly quiet that Monday afternoon. Everyone was lounging around, minding their own business, and since the arena was particularly small, it was the only place that Roman could find that he could sit and isolate himself for a few minutes before his match against Kane for the main even of Raw.

The silence in catering was short-lived, of course, since Dean and The Shield's young intern, Asia, zoomed passed him. Roman shot the two of them an annoyed look, but neither of them paid him any attention. Every fucking Monday, Roman thought to himself as he shook his head and turned the volume of his music up full blast. The loud music flowed through his headphones and into his ears, drowning out the commotion that Dean and Asia were causing. As soon as Roman closed his eyes to try to get himself back into his relaxed state, his headphones were jerked from his head, taking a few strands of his long, dark hair with them. The loud music was then replaced with a high pitched voice shouting at him.

"Roman, control your children!"

Roman's eyes flew open wide only to see the face of former Funkadactyl, Cameron. Roman already imagined himself spearing her through a table just for touching his stuff, but that thought was instantly gone when he looked across the room to see Asia and Dean on the floor wrestling with each other over what seemed to be a phone. Multiple superstars and divas were circled around them either shouting at them to stop or cheering them on. Roman sighed dramatically and shoved his phone into Cameron's hands.

"Hold this," he said and rushed over to the two "children". Without breaking a sweat at all, Roman grabbed the back of Asia's shirt and practically lifted her off of Dean who was on the floor laughing and cradling the phone that the two had been fighting over. Asia was both impressed and shocked that Roman had lifted her off of Dean because she is in no way a small or skinny girl. She was not extremely obese either, but she weighed a little over 200 pounds so it surprised her. A few superstars, mainly the Miz, who was being mimicked by his stunt double, Damien "Mizdow", started to boo Roman for breaking up the fight, but were quickly silenced by a sharp look from Roman. Before Roman could even open his mouth to yell at either Dean or Asia, Dean quickly sat up and shouted, "Tom! Catch!" and threw the phone at an unsuspecting and innocent Tom Phillips, who unfortunately was standing a couple yards away and was in the middle of eating a pizza roll. Tom quickly looked up at the sound of his name to see a large purple phone soaring toward his face. Out of instinct, Tom reached up and caught the phone right before it hit his face, but he could not prepare for the short, black girl that came barreling at him screaming, "Give me my phone!"

Roman could only stand and stare in shock and horror as the girl who somehow managed to slip from his grip, ran at Tom and tackled him before the poor guy could even move…or swallow his pizza roll.

"There are going to be few changes around here," Vince said. "First, Shield, this little feud going on between you and Asia needs to end. Now."

He scolded them like little children.

"Second, since you and Dean," He said looking Asia and the 'lunatic fringe', who were both sitting and staring at the floor, "cannot seem to get along, I am now requiring that the both of you spend at least two hours with each other for the next week. You will work everything out, you will learn to communicate in a more passive manner, and Roman, since this whole thing seems to stem from you—"

"What!" Roman shouted, but Vince was not phased. "You are required to supervise them. Starting tomorrow, the three of you will be working out your differences."

Roman opened his mouth to object but quickly closed it when Vince gave him a look that told him that there would be no point in arguing. I can never catch a fucking break around here, Roman thought.

Seth's shoulders shook as he laughed at the expressions on the faces of Roman, Asia and Dean. When he was summoned into Vince McMahon's office, he was at first terrified, because he had no idea what was going on, but since being told the entire story, he couldn't stop himself from laughing every other minute.

"And third, because of that little scene in catering, Tom has been sent to the hospital! He has been extremely traumatized and his doctor recommends that he stays away from pizza rolls. What that means is, there will no longer be Pizza Roll Mondays."

As soon as Vince's speech was over, Seth's shoulders suddenly stopped shaking and his eyes got wide.

"What?" Seth shouted loudly with extreme concern, causing everyone in the room to jump in their seats. "You're kidding, right?"

Vince's angry expression formed into a sad one. He sighed and then said, "No, sadly, Tom was sent to the hospital about an hour ago because that tackle he received caused a strain in his back. He also-"

"No, not that!" Seth interrupted. Everyone gave him a confused look, but Seth did not care. "You're canceling Pizza Roll Mondays?!"

As Seth spoke, his voice gained a whiny tone, like a child, "But Pizza Roll Monday is my favorite day! Those pizza rolls are what motivate me to do my best in the ring, and you're taking them away from me?"

Vince gave an aggravated grunt and said, "Get out of my office."

The four of them slowly walked out of the office, with Seth as the tail. From the entire walk to the car, to the whole drive back to the hotel, Seth grumbled about how he was being punished for something that he had nothing to do with.

"Thanks a lot, guys," he whined. "Now we can't even have any more pizza rolls."

Roman sighed in annoyance and said, "If I buy and cook you pizza rolls every Monday, will it make you shut the hell up?"

"It's not the same!" he said, waving his hands through the air.

I can never catch a fucking break, Roman once again thought to himself as he shook his head.

Please review and tell me what you think, Love! Like I said, this story popped into my head when I was half asleep at 3am and for some reason I felt obligated to write it.