Dipper and Mabel Goes To Barnes & Noble
By. Alex Pines
One day, Dipper and Mabel Pines was playing on Dipper's PS4, when suddenly their mom said "Hey kids, there's a brand new Barnes & Noble store that just opened up down the street. Do you wanna go?". "Ya sure, why not." The two said. "I want to get myself a Diary Of A Wimpy Kid book." Dipper said. "And I want to get a mini harpoon gun to go with my grappling hook!" Mabel said happily. "Mabel, Barnes & Noble doesn't sell harpoon guns, I don't even think it's legal to sell a harpoon gun to minors." Dipper responded. "Well where can I get-" Mabel got interrupted when her mom said "Mabel, you're not getting a harpoon gun". "Aw, but mom?". "But nothing, you're too young to own that kind of thing. I don't want to lose you Mabel." their mom said. Mabel blushed, said "ok", and gave her mom a hug. "Alright, get in the car and let's go." said their mom.
Later on they arrive at Barnes & Noble and get out of the car. When they walked into the store, they stared in awe and shock. Dipper and Mabel never been to Barnes & Noble before. There were so many books that were long, short, thick, tall, thin, small, wide, and many others books. "How do you find a Diary Of A Wimpy Kid book in a store this big?" Dipper said. "Maybe you should look for it in the section with the humongous sign titled Diary Of A Wimpy Kid?" Mabel said.
Just then a couple of hot girls were checking out and giggling at Dipper. "Hey Mabel, I think those hot chicks over there like me" Dipper said whispering. " I'm going to talk to them. Wassup I'm Dipper" he said. "Why is your name Dipper?" they asked while giggling. "Oh, because people call me that, plus I have this weird birthmark on my forehead the shape of the Big Dipper." Dipper then took off his new pinetree hat and showed his birthmark to the girls. "OMG, that is so cool!" they said. "Really? I thought ya'll would make fun of it or something." he said. "Welcome to the preteen age" they said. "Hey, do you got a snapchat?" one of them asked which was the one he liked the most. "Ya, its Dipper Pines_7" he said. "Can I get your phone number?" he said thinking he just embarrassed himself. "Sure, its 435-762-11953" the one he liked the most said. Dipper then took out his Samsung Galaxy S7 smartphone and put in the number, then gave the girl his phone number.
"Hey Ashley it's time to go!" the girl's mom called out. "Hey, I gotta go, I'll talk to you later cutie" she said smiling. The girl then left and Dipper returned back to his sister. "Mabel, I totally just pulled her!" Dipper said exclaiming happily. "Good job bro-bro!" she said high-fiving him. "Is she going to give you a BJ?" Mabel asked. "Ew, Mabel no!" Dipper said. "I'm just joking!" She said punching her brother playfully. " Ow Mabel! Sometimes that hurts you know." Dipper said rubbing his shoulder. Then the two walked over to the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid section.
PART I: Dipper's Story Dipper picked up his favorite book called Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: The Third Wheel. The cover was brown and it had a picture of a heartbroken Greg Heffley, and the cover was smooth. Dipper opened the book and was about to read it, when suddenly Mabel took the book out of his hand and started eating it. "Mabel what are you doing!?" he said. Mabel ignored him, and continued on eating the book, but she couldn't eat the cover, because it was a hardback. She ripped off the front and back cover which had teeth marks in it. She then started eating the pages which had saliva all over it. The chewed pages in her mouth looked like mushed up mashed potatoes with dog slobber all over it Oh God, this is making me sick. Don't read this part while eating, because I'm eating oatmeal right now Dipper himself started gagging at that, and turned around to read his second favorite book Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul. Dipper was about to read a book, when he heard the girl he met earlier greeted him.
"Hey Dipper" she said. "Hey, you know I never got your name. What is it?" he asked. "Oh, it's Ashley; Ashley Corduroy."she said. "Um what?" Dipper said. "I said Ashley Cordoy" she said. "Oh I thought you said Corduroy." Dipper said. "Hey, what are you reading?" Ashley asked. "Oh, it's Diary Of A Wimpy Kid" Dipper said. "I love Diary Of A Wimpy Kid!", "Which one is your favorite?" she asked. "The Third Wheel" he replied. "What's you fav-" Dipper got interrupted, and was shocked to find out that Ashley was kissing him. Dipper shrugged his shoulders and just went with the someone out of nowhere shouted out "PDA!" (which means public display of affection). Just then, they stopped kissing and both blushed. People started making heart shapes with their hands and were saying "awwww". A few minutes later everything calmed down and was back to normal.
Suddenly, a depressed old man said in a low voice "Hey kid come here, I need you to do me a favor,". "Wassup old man?" Dipper said as he told Ashley he'll be back in a little while. "Give me some semen" the man said. "You're gay" Dipper said. "No, I meant give me some flower semen." the old man said. "Um…Okay." Dipper said thinking the old man had a problem. Dipper then went to the food court You're probably thinking "Why is there a food court in a Barnes & Noble Store? Well that Barnes & Noble is in the mall, and happens to be next to the food court and took a plastic cup from the cup dispenser. Then he went to the indoor garden and picked some flowers. He took a flower and knew how to break a flower a right way to get the semen out. Dipper broke the flower a little and exposed the yellow semen from the flower, then he carefully poured it into the cup, but he missed. Their was sticky yellow flower semen all over his fingers. "Yuck!" Dipper said as he tried to get the sticky flower reproductive fluid of his fingers. It felt like ticklish goop mixed with jelly and milk. It was completely disgusting. Dipper started gagging, but tried his best not to throw up. Dipper finally got some of the stuff off, which landed on the floor, and some got flung away and landed on the tables, food, and chairs. It was a sticky situation Dipper was in. Dipper shook his hand again and some of it came off, it landed on a cheeseburger that Mabel was about to eat. She didn't notice and took a bite off the cheeseburger. That's disgusting. I want to quit now but i must finish this Dipper had it, he ran into the nearest men's bathroom he could find and started throwing up. Five minutes later, Dipper came out of the bathroom and had enough of his mission to give the old man the flower semen. "That old man is weird anyways" Dipper said to himself. He then went back to talk to that girl.