Sakagami Kouya sat on the bus half asleep. She lived only two stops from the community college she attended, but she was skipping out today. She was going to see Yamato for the first time in a long time. Sleeping was all she could do to keep herself contained. To keep herself calm enough...
The bus halted.
Passengers rose and filed from the mettalic creature's gorged belly full of seats and bars and bodies. She blinked herself awake as more people replaced the departed ones and turned her head away. Her body was very outside of that world. She did not move, she did not leave, she did not get past anything the way these people climbed on and off of the bus.
Someone sat near her.
She was conscious of their body, their presence, and yet she was not aware of them. They weren't Yamato. They weren't important to her. Her stop came and went and she only realized she'd missed it when she saw Yamato standing there on the sidewalk, looking from side to side nervously. Then she jumped, grabbed the emergency brake above her head and pulled it down. The bus stopped.
Climbing to her feet, she slung a bag over her shoulder and scooted from her warm seat, into the cold aisle. She was the only one moving. The only one alive in a way. She paid for a ride home, since she knew the driver, said she would see her later, and climbed off of the bus.
It drove away.
There stood Yamato, just across the street, in all of her glory. Her beautiful blond hair, a little longer than before, but still the same. She held herself the same way that she always did. In her proud, womanly way with no virgin ears on her head. Kouya still wore her own, at least the fake ones. It shyed her to take them off in front of anyone but the girl she loved. She wanted to cry out all at once but her throat tightened and she could barely breathe around it, let alone talk. She couldn't move, watching her there. She was so beautiful.
Someone knocked into her. Stumbling slightly, she darted across the street before she became the victim of a self-caused traffic accident. Horns blared at her and she covered her ears at them before reaching the other side of the street. The noise had drawn Yamato's attention and Kouya saw her coming over as she latched onto a telephone pole.
"Hey." the brunette almost melted at the sound of her ex-lover's voice. It took all of her control to remain standing and she clutched to the pole that much tighter.
"H-Hi." her face was getting hot at how stupid her voice sounded in her ears and she felt cold in her body. Yamato smiled that sweet, cute smile, and Kouya's knees tried to buckle. "How have you been?" she tried to sound calm. She didn't sound calm.
Her hair was in her face, straight as ever, hanging past her shoulders again as it had when she had first met the blond before her. Kouya had not changed. In all of the years that she had been in love with Yamato, she had not changed enough to say so, while Yamato was like a butterfly. She was always changing. Always altering her looks and her attitude to catch the light, like a butterfly in the summer breeze. She was still Yamato, but she was versatile. She could be what she wanted, whereas all Kouya could be was...well...Kouya.
"Alright. What about you?" Yamato's voice was soft. Kouya nodded, not having taken in the question, and lowered her eyes. This was a mistake, she shouldn't have come, she was making a fool of them both. Kouya's heart had not moved beyond Yamato, Kouya was still so deeply in love with the other girl, she would have died for her then and there if the blond wished it. Trying to control herself was madness, but to let go meant that she would ignore all of Yamato's own desires and take her own.
She didn't want that.
"I'm okay." she mumbled at long last and Yamato nodded this time, taking her hand very gently.
"Let's talk." the only two words in all the world that scared Kouya to death. Had she become aware of her keeping watch? Did she dislike the fact that Kouya still cared? Was she going to tell her to leave her be?
Kouya couldn't do that. Hell, it was killing her already just to keep the distance that Yamato wanted between their hearts. She would certainly fall dead before her if she were told to go forever.
"I'm sorry." she whispered as Yamato led her, like a small child, up the street. The blond cast a blue glance back at her before looking away again.
"For what?" she asked and Kouya stopped.
"I still love you." she croaked and Yamato froze for a moment of her own before nodding.
"I know." she replied and Kouya felt her heart give a painful tug behind her meager breasts.
"I'm sorry. I know there's someone-" Yamato shook her head, not looking at her.
"There is no one else." Kouya blinked. She was sure the girl in her dreams had told her that there was someone new. There was another girl she was going to marry. Kouya was positive there had been, because she remembered crying over it. "She left me."
"Oh." the brunette's voice was soft. Yamato fell silent and an awkwardness spread between them like a terrible disease. It infected and flourished between them . It became a pressure on Kouya that gave her the impression of being smothered. Air became hard to suck in and she felt her heart begin to pound. She needed to escape; needed to run. If she didn't, if she let this go on then... "I'm sorry." was all she could manage, suffocating as she was.
"It's not your fault." Yamato said softly, but Kouya knew different. It was all her fault. It had been her prayers, her wishes on the stars at night, that had torn them apart. It had been her doing, begging God to return her lover to her. It was her fault.
Tears hit her hand and she blinked, realizing Yamato was clutching at her fingers. Blue eyes were leaking tears and Yamato blinked her own greens, almost astounded. She had seen Yamato cry before, but never before had her tears tugged on her heart so hard.
"Yama-" she began but the other girl pulled her against her in a tight hug. The warmth of it silenced her, while Yamato's trembling caused her to wrap her arms around her tightly.
"I'm sorry." the blond in her arms breathed and Kouya blinked, pulling her ex away from her firmly. Looking up at her, she brought a hand up and laid it on her cheek. It was all she could do not to cry herself as she struggled to think of some way to fix this. To make her smile once again.
"For what?" she asked, remembering a similar conversation that they had had some time ago...outside of a night-club. Yamato just shook her head and Kouya tried to be firm, cocking her head very slighly. "Yamato?" she tried and the blond blinked at her, trying to cease her crying.
"I hurt you..." she croaked and Kouya shook her head, gently. Pulling her against her, she kissed the taller girl's hair. She tried to hush her and Yamato carried on apologizing for a few more minutes. Then the two were still, standing there on the street.
"I've forgiven you for that." Kouya said softly and Yamato pulled back. The look on her face made her ache, and even more so when the blond forced a smile.
"Why do you have to be so nice?" Kouya blinked at her and felt herself grow confused. She must have looked the part, because the blond let out a light laugh and took her hand weakly. "Why are you always there? Whatever I do, whatever I say, every time I turn around you're still there." Kouya's breath hitched and she felt her own tears welling in her senses. What kind of thing was that to say? Brunetted head lowered as her eyes drifted down.
"Because I love you." she croaked and felt Yamato move away from her. Her head snapped up, her mind ready to defend her words as a mere fluke, until she saw the look on her ex-lover's face. Her eyes were half-shut and looking at the ground, mirroring the weak smile on her lips. She was trembling slightly and Kouya felt the compulsion to reach out to her.
"You love me." she parroted and Kouya pulled back a little, her own defenses coming up. "I love you too." she breathed, blue eyes raising to lock with hazel. Kouya felt herself blush and her eyes widened. She could remember that face, everything about the person that owned it, but the words coming from that beautiful mouth weren't sinking in. Her mind was setting up a barrier to ignore while her heart was fighting it every step of the way.
"You...love me..." she whispered back, her heart beating against her chest wildly.
**
Yamato sat up in the bed, the sheet wrapped around her thin, lithe body as her blue eyes turned on a sleeping brunette beside her. Kouya still wore her shirt but was curled, like a cat, under the sheet as well. Hazel eyes were shut and her breath was even as she lay beside her.
She had thought about this a lot. She had thought of the brunette a lot, but this had been a little out of her range. As she let herself be consumed by her thoughts, a hand touched hers and she blinked herself back.
"You're awake." she said softly and Kouya nodded, adverting her eyes.
"Where does this leave us?" she asked in a weak voice and Yamato turned her head to look at her as she sat up. Kouya's back was to her as she was reaching for her skirt again.
"I don't know." Yamato said softly, looking at the bedsheets, gripping them. Kouya nodded and pulled her underwear up her legs, snapping them on and straightening her skirt. The sound was harsh against the blondes ears. Almost like a gun-shot.
"Kouya-" she tried but when the brunette looked at her again, her throat tightened and refused to let her speak. Kouya nodded at her, closing her eyes and sliding her socks onto her feet and looking for her shoes once she had her brazier off of the floor and on her chest again.
"It's okay, Yamato." she said gently, her voice stabbing a little deeper than Yamato wanted it to. "I know." her voice held a soft, subtle, meek note. She was crying, though she wouldn't turn around so that Yamato could see. "It's not like I..." Yamato bit her lip as she tried her best not to let Kouya's feelings reach her.
It wasn't working.
"It's not like I wanted us to get married or-or anything..." the brunette coughed in a half-assed attempt to camouflage a sob. It hit Yamato like a sucker-punch and before she could stop herself, she was on her feet. Her legs carried her across the room without her minds consent and she grabbed the other girl. Pulling her against her, she hugged her tightly.
"Yes." she bawled, her voice cracking as Kouya's head turned. Blinking at her, hazel eyes continued to leak their salty contents.
"Yes?" her voice was trembling as she stared at the taller girl, confused again. Yamato nodded, turning her around and kissing her brow gently.
"Yes." the blondes hand clasped at the brunette's and she fingered the ring on her finger. The same finger that it had been on since the day they had met.
"I love you, Sakagami Kouya." she whispered against Kouya's hair.
"I love you too, Nakano Yamato." Kouya whimpered and smiled when blue eyes locked on hers, lips pressing against her own in a soft, sweet, sincere kiss.