BELLA POV

Intro.

Here I was. Eating soggy cereal, which is the main food my life had depended on recently for dinner and trying to control a Felicity, I would give extra details but there was no description, not angry, or upset, or bored, nor insecure, or tired and definitely not joyful, just Felicity. That all there was to it. Just calling to hear her own voice, which had dominated over my voice for the phone call. And believe it or, it's not even that I didn't like her, she was a great worker ( my colleague) and most of the time was really nice. She just reminded me of someone from back in Forks, I really didn't need to go there at the moment. Breaking down on the phone with the biggest gossip in the whole damn country was really not the smartest idea.

"Yes he is" And if I knew a tiring conversation when I was involved in one, this was most defiantly the one, after the first couple of hours, the appeal to talk about a near stranger's love life was just not there anymore, if it had been in the first place. And from this side of the phone, it would seem as though I was fighting with myself. She just wouldn't listen, regardless of it she wanted to hear it.

"No way Bella!"

"Yes, of course he is."

"He so isn't!"

"I'm not going to argue with you."

"Please, I'll keep talking if you do!"

"I'll hang up then."

"Okay, Okay! "

"I thought so."

"But I just don't understand how he can't like me; I mean I'm amazing, and pretty and funny and assertive and gorgeous and skinny and intelligent and non – clingy and rich! And did I mention pretty?" Most modest person I've ever met... Cough cough.

"Yes you are all of those things, especially assertive."

"What about hot or funny or rich, huh?"

"I know, I am well aware that you are very 'hot' as well I was just pointing it out."

"Yes, I know, it's good you know that too. But what about all the others?" Oh how I forgot how much I could love a self centred bitch.

"Yes, and intelligent and independent and non-clingy." She had always wanted to be confirmed that she was non-clingy. Because calling a guy everyday three times a day for a whole two months because he dumped you is the very opposite of clingy...

"What about if he thinks I'm too poor for him? I'm not of course, but still."

"No actually I don't really think he will mind that."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, money doesn't matter to him, and he's got enough of it anyway."

"Oh my God! You like him don't you! You're trying to steal my man away from me!" Bitch!" How the heck the conversation had gotten to this point had gotten here I had no idea, but I know indefinitely that it had to end. Now.

"No! I'm not interested in him; I'm just trying to help!"

"Are you sure, you can admit it, I won't be angry, much."

"Yes!"

"Okay I believe you Isabella. So do you honestly think he likes me, like more than a friend?" This was where I knew she didn't believe me. She called me by my full name. Some people amaze me, and it is not in a good way.

"Look, I don't really care. I really have to go now."

"Are you sure Bella, I want to talk about me and David still?"

"Yes." I was really starting to lose my temper now, couldn't people just take a hint?

"Fine then."

"Okay, well I'll see you tomorrow then Felicity."

"Well, okay, we can talk about my question later though?"

"Yup, I agree. Bye."

This evening- and every other evening for the past week- I had spent the talking to her about the fact that David wasn't noticing her enough. This was not a topic I was comfortable talking about, or for that fact, wanted to talk about. At all. Ever since I had moved to Australia she had stuck to me like a catchy flu and refused to let go, believing us to be best friends, for some reason I couldn't fathom. I really need to get a life I thought to myself as I prepared for a shower, hoping to relieve the tension I felt, which a shower had always been able to do in the past, it was my thinking and recuperating spot.

Somehow my strawberry shampoo and conditioner and strawberry scrub just hit that spot.

My magic lotions.

Just as I was about to get in the shower, and already undressed, the phone rang. I considered my options, letting it go to message bank and having my much needed shower, or to answer it. I went with getting it; it would be rude to let it go to voicemail, plus I was in dire need of any sane human contact.

My thoughts were sadly that it would be Felicity or David. See Felicity didn't know that he was actually obsessed with me and that's not even being stuck up in the very least. And believe me, I was not going to be the one of the poor souls that told her (or another way of putting it, put their head on the chopping block), I had seen her go on a rampage for the poor intern that gave her coffee to her without exactly two and a half teaspoons of sugar. How she could actually tell just by looking at it did amaze me though. In my opinion, I thought the two would have been a match made in heaven they were both were outgoing and confident, not like me at all. David was stubbornly unaware of anyone apart from me. If I had ever thought of the two in comparison with Jessica and Mike, I could see the resemblance, maybe they were cousins or something? It was just too much of a coincidence really.

So I was thoroughly surprised when the caller id said not one of the two but my father, Charlie.

I suppose I should have known really, he had started to insistently call me about three times a day when I first left Forks after he left me. I had been distraught for years and everyone knew exactly why, you just couldn't keep a secret in Forks, and it wasn't a secret that myself and... Well. Him, were the biggest couple around. Marriage had been the next step in everybody's minds, I thought, not because I could read people's minds. Minus Jessica and Mike for the couple thing though, that is.

And so the shell I had spent years building up, my entire life in fact, and been wrenched down in a mere matter of days, it was pathetic really.. I re built it of course. In my new and improved shell I shied away from any contact, even poor Charlie, I didn't eat, sleep or talk to anyone, a real mess. But I saw how this affected Charlie so I attempted to stop. I basically got back to my old routine. But inside, I was empty. People were sympathetic at first and I had Jacob to help me. I even started to care for him again, even love him, him being a werewolf not mattering to me; we were both two outcast and freaks. We even start to date for a few months as well, but as a mutual decision we ended it, having drifted apart too much to make it work, and I just couldn't care for him as much as he deserved to be cared for in life. We had decided to remain friends and try to not wreck whatever we still had left. And so I went back to being empty. I still cared for him like a beloved brother but had nothing else to take up my life anymore and so gave up. After jumping off a cliff again -luckily it was a smaller cliff and I just broke some smaller bones, nothing new- , leaving town for 5 months and giving Charlie a minor heart attack when I returned, hoping for forgiveness and a place to stay. I snapped out of it. I finally saw the pain I caused to my loved ones and saw the pettily disguised disgust of the people who lived in the town who had once pitied me for my pain, and how he had affected my life.

I attempted to start over.

I got a job overseas, after seeing Jacob get married to Patrice, his girlfriend of 4 years - when did that happen, I had thought to myself but had decided it wiser to stay shut up, having already been to therapy probably more times than I had dollars. When I had thoughts like this I saw how messed up I had been, and it saddened me more than I thought possible. All the times I had cried myself to sleep and locked myself in my room for days, was just sad.

And so here I was, 24 years old, living by myself in the mostly sunny state of Western Australia, Australia and in the capitol, Perth. It was almost opposite to Forks in every way. It was a pretty town and I enjoyed living there. I had a good job and a few friends. I had never gained any confidence or even lost some of my disability – clumsiness - and was still just as bad. But I thankfully still had my good friends in Forks and was happy for the first time in years.

And it was really, really good. I was pretty sure I felt this way was because I was finally over him. I had seen the light, so as to speak, as saw how what I thought had been love had been an obsession because someone had finally taken notice in me, someone had finally cared for me, the loner freak with the out of control hair and the weird obsession with books, and I thought, loved me. I knew now that what he felt for me had just been curiosity and maybe some blood lust. First, the smell of my blood, the one which had drawn him to me in the first place so much, even though he was just drawn because he had wanted to kill me. And then the curiosity of the fact that for the first time, he couldn't hear someone's thoughts. He had wanted to know why. Cocky little Edward wanted to know why his always perfect powers weren't so perfect anymore. Curiosity. He hadn't felt it in over a hundred years, and had sadly mistaken it for love.

"Hey Cha- Dad." I answered, correcting myself, yet again.

"Hey Bells..." He said nervously. Apparently he was still expecting me to have a breakdown and to come home to him.

"What's up?" I asked innocently, trying to assure him, without him actually doing it, that I was still okay.

"Not much, no dramas here. What about you?" He had to check.

"Oh not much, I have a pitch tomorrow to get some funding."

"Oh, I see. Well I do have some news..." He was never one for uncomfortable situations and usually just avoided them completely, so this was strange, the fact that he was so nervous and the fact he seemed to believe I was doing fine.

"Oh, okay, what's that?"

"Do you promise to stay calm?"

"Dad... Just tell me."

"Promise me."

"Fine. I promise."

"Alice came here today"

I dropped the phone and my towel at the same time.

The phone dropped with a echoed thud and the towel a soft one. I was stark naked, and didn't care. What I felt. I couldn't describe it. I don't think I was angry, I was just empty again. No emotions. How the heck did they still have this power over me? I was still for a minute, I heard Charlie yelling through the phone, and didn't care. Well, still until I saw some night joggers run past, staring so intensely hard that they crashed into my rose bushes, they must have been disgusted, and hurt, I knew from experience that those bushes were painful.

I slowly put my towel back in place and picked up the phone.

"Bella?" Anxious

"Bella!" Angry

"Answer me missy!" Self righteous.

"You promised not to get angry!" Trying to take control of the situations. His emotions were changing so drastically in such a short amount of time. Unlike mine who had coincidentally decided to go on a holiday to a far-faraway place.

I tested my voice, it wasn't shaky, much to my utter surprise. "I'm here dad."

"Oh thank god! Look Bells listen, it was just her. She knew, somehow, you weren't here. She wanted to apologize to me. She also said she knew what I would have gone through. She said she came here on her own terms, and only stayed away for Edward." He said the last word warily, as if it would tarnish the conversation. It very well might. Since that day the name had been a taboo subject, if it wasn't brought up, Bella was normally happier. But I wasn't surprised he wasn't angry in the very least though, Alice still had Charlie wrapped around her tiny -perfectly manicured probably- little finger, even after all of these years, and all that had happened.

Amazing. Damn Future Seeing Vampie.

"It's okay dad. I'm not there and as long as they don't come here, I think I should be fine. I was being honest when I said I was okay when I left Forks you know?" I surprised myself with this. "And I'm really not angry." I added. And being honest, I was defiantly feeling a lot of emotions now –my emotions having come back from their holiday and back in full motion- but anger was not one of them as near as I could tell.

I heard a gasp and then a deep sigh on the other line. He had been expecting something, a fight, a tantrum, anger at the very least. I had surprised him. Huh. Cool.

"Oh. Well, no she's not going to you, she just wanted to say sorry. She also wanted me to tell you she really does still love you and miss you. She said she doesn't expect you to feel the same way right now or ever just that she loves you deeply."

I listened without posing a reply. Until I had a thought, "You seriously wrote that down didn't you Dad?!,I know full well your memory isn't that good enough to remember that all."

"Well, a man has got to do what a man has got to do now."

I laughed, he was always entertaining.

"Well I'm going now Bells, I have to cook my dinner, wish me luck kiddo." he joked trying to add a lighter vibe I supposed.

"Bye dad."

"I love you honey."

"You too."

And with that the line went dead. Complete silence once again.

Now for that shower, it was starting to sound better and better.