Summary: Sometimes life forces you to look back on your mistakes and the pain and suffering you've caused others. These times are extremely difficult especially when that person is your own brother.

This story takes place mid season three.

Teaser

"We're not brothers any more, hell we're not even friends"

He regretted those words now more then ever as he looked down at the still form of his brother as he lay beneath the white hospital sheets. The blond haired boy was hooked up to various machines unable to breathe on his own or respond to those around him. The star shooting guard never felt more helpless, angry or afraid in all his life but yet all he could do at the moment was cry and even that was suddenly requiring too much energy.

Part of him was pissed at not only his brother for being so reckless with his life but with his wife as well for allowing him to. How could she keep his siblings condition from him for so long? How could she continue to let her best friend risk his life for a game that would ultimately put him on life support and damage his heart so badly that he would need a heart transplant?

"Nathan" a voice called out to him. He instantly knew who it was and did his best to remain calm.

"Get out" he demanded coldly not even bothering to look in her direction. He just wanted her to leave before things got heated and he lost his temper which he was already in danger of losing just at the sound of her voice.

"Nathan please, don't do this" she pleaded through tears. She knew that he would be angry and hurt but she wasn't prepared for him to be so cold and distant.

"Do what?" he spoke through clenched teeth.

"Shut me out, please let me help you through this" she said placing a hand on his should that he roughly brushed off.

"Help me?" he said looking at his brother before turning to her. "Like you helped Lucas"

"That's not fair and you know it Nathan. Lucas is my best friend and…"

The girl was cut of by the cruel laughter of the man who she loved. She had never seen him like this before and quite frankly it scared her.

"Well some friend you are. My brother's going to die because of you" he said raising his voice. He couldn't help it. He was in so much pain and was so angry at her, at the whole damn situation that he couldn't contain his hostility.

"Because of me? I didn't do this to him Nathan. Lucas had a heart attack this wasn't anybody's fault and if you would just listen"

"Are you kidding me! I just watched my brother have a heart attack while playing a game that he was obviously willing to die for. I watched him grab his chest and cry out in pain before going into convulsions and turning blue. I saw the pain in his face and the red veins in his eyes the pain was so intense that they were practically popping out of his head. I was forced to remember every fucking thing I've ever done to him, every fight we've had and every vicious word I ever spoke came back to haunt me tonight. My God do you have any idea how that felt?"

"Yeah I do Nate because I was there too! I saw what happened and it scared the hell out of me. Every since we were nine years old it's just been us against the world and when I saw this, when I saw him…I…" the girl wanted to continue but she couldn't. The words became stuck in her throat and just wouldn't come out. She wanted to stay and plead her case to her husband but with everything that was going on it was just too much for her to handle all at once. Instead she left the room in tears as he watched on without moving an inch.

He didn't move or even attempt to go after her because he was too angry. His brother's life was slipping away and she was just as much to blame as he was. She should have told someone about the boy's heart condition because he was too stubborn to. So what he would have been angry at her for a while but at least he would still be alive instead of laying in a hospital bed fighting for his life. Sure he didn't really know Lucas all that long but he was still his older brother. Even when they were fighting at least he knew he was around and that he was able to see his face and knew that he was ok. There was always that comfort of knowing that he was around, that he would always be around.

"Why?" he asked the still form lying before him. "Why did you lie to me Luke? Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you quit the team?" he said becoming more and more angry. "You're such an asshole you know that? What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you think that basketball was more important then your life?" he screamed unable to hold back as more tears slid down his face.

"Why did you think that I would be ok without you? How could you do this to me? How could you die and leave me here all alone?" he said a little softer then his original outburst. "Please come back. I need you, please come back" he sobbed as he took hold of his brother's hand and rested his head on the side of the bed.

"It's ok Nate" a soft yet shaken voice spoke to him as the person held him tightly.

"No it's not. It's not ok" he replied through tears. "Not until he wakes up, not until I have my brother back"

"We'll get him back Nathan. I promise you. Lucas will come back to us. We just have to be strong for him and be patient and have faith" Karen spoke as she felt the presences of someone else in the room. She then glanced over in the direction of the doorway to find the one person both she and Nathan never expected to see.