Title: Timeline (Star Trek: Voyager)
Author: Bella Azzurri (jean.vannistelrooyatgmaildotcom)
Rating: G
Category: General/AU
Spoilers: None
Keywords: some P/T, implied J/C
Summary: Voyager returns from the Delta Quadrant after four years. Harry's thoughts of the events that occurred after.
Disclaimer: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
October 2004

It's been six years since Voyager returned from the Delta Quadrant. Some days I wish we had only returned a few years ago. Perhaps then I wouldn't feel so guilty about standing here, alive, while Captain Kathryn Janeway is buried six feet under, just a few feet in front of me. Or, a few metres away, I see Tom, holding a figure in his arms, staring at the headstone of another soul lost to war.

The cemetary is littered with those whom I have served with for four years in the DQ. As I look ahead at Tom, his shoulders slumped, I know he wishes he was with them as well. With her.

When we returned, we were quickly debriefed, as if we hadn't been lost seventy thousand light years away, and reassigned. The Maquis were pardoned and given a choice of remaining in Starfleet. When news went around Captain Janeway was going back to Voyager, I knew one person would follow her.

She stopped him. I don't know why. I've asked Commander Chakotay, but to this day he is as tight-lipped as ever. For a while I've wondered if he hated her, but he couldn't have, because I see him every year at the memorial service. He didn't hate her. Perhaps it was the opposite.

Many of us chose to stay, except Chakotay. I was made Lieutenant, and reassigned to Voyager. Aside from Captain Janeway and the Doctor, I was the only other crewmember who was on this ship during its sojourn in the Delta Quadrant. Those of us who remained were reassigned to other ships - and right to the front line of the Dominion War. Tom was on the Enterprise, B'Elanna and Tuvok on the tactical ship Andromeda, and Seven on the Tianamen.

Seven was the first. The Tianamen had sustained severe damage during a battle, and while most crewmembers managed to escape on lifepods, Seven didn't. She was trying to stabilise the warp core, but it was a minute too late. I saw the ship explode on Voyager's viewscreen, and I knew then, Seven was gone. Captain Janeway had remained optimistic for a while, thinking she might be on one of the escape pods, but as the remaining ships brought in the survivors, including Tuvok, from the Tianamen, the reality sank in.

The Tianamen was a large Galaxy-class ship, the biggest of our fleet, thus we were all recalled back to Starfleet to review new tactical information, as well as to reconvene. Reassignments occurred, and Tom was back on Voyager as First Officer. I knew B'Elanna had asked to be reassigned to Voyager as well, but Starfleet had denied her request. I found out later, once we were back in the front line, that B'Elanna was pregnant, which explained the transfer request. I was amazed that Starfleet had let her go to the front line, but I guessed she wanted to be closer to Tom. Tuvok was back in Starfleet HQ, coordinating defences.

It all went to hell faster than I thought.

It was one of those battles. You can go through as many battle drills as possible, but nothing can compare to the real thing. Our coordination with the other ships was without fault, but we were overpowered. Sometimes I wondered why they simply didn't destroy us, the entire fleet.

We received the news from the Andromeda once the enemy had retreated, leaving us to lick our wounds. B'Elanna had fallen from the top level of Engineering. She didn't survive surgery, but the baby did. Miral, almost a month premature, was transferred to Voyager to be with her father, and under the care of the Doctor. I remember watching as Tom collapsed to the floor of the ready room when Andromeda's captain told us the news. Captain Janeway had quickly closed the transmission. When she turned to look at me, it was a mixture of sadness and anger. Sadness that B'Elanna was gone, anger because she believed she could have stopped it.

Tom was different after the news. Then again, who wouldn't be? He lives only for Miral. If it weren't for Miral, he'd have tossed himself out an airlock in no time.

At the time, I didn't realise that twelve hours later, I would not only be grieving for a friend, but for a captain as well.

They came back in full force. We had barely gotten warp drive back online, and we only had phasers operational. There was a malfunction in the torpedo chamber which I was trying to bypass, but as we were struck repeatedly, the attempt seemed more and more futile. Captain Janeway left Tom in charge of the bridge, and opened a comm link with me. Tom tried to stop her, because the instant I announced that I couldn't bypass the malfunction, everyone on the bridge knew what Captain Janeway was going to do.

Sometimes Tom and I wished we had chained her to her command chair.

She managed to manually bypass the malfunction, but the impact of the torpedo firing chamber was too great. She sustained too many internal injuries and burns to almost ninety-percent of her body. Voyager lost her first Captain.

It was a long time before any of us saw home again. The grieving only began after the war, when we could properly bury the dead. Chakotay attended every burial and memorial service of those we knew. Captain Tom Paris had given Captain Janeway's eulogy, as he did B'Elanna's. The Doctor and I spoke at Seven's memorial. I spoke at countless more - Jenny Delaney, Joe Carey, Samantha Wildman...

I wonder if they could have lived if we remained in the Delta Quadrant for a little while longer.

Tom gave up his Starfleet commission after the war, devoting his life to Miral. Tuvok had retired as well. I'm one of the few who have remained in Starfleet. I am now Captain of Voyager, a rank I wish I didn't have under the circumstances. I see Tom when I am on Earth, and receive regular communique's from Tuvok as well. The only time I ever see Chakotay is during memorials, or when I catch him here on odd days. I hardly speak to him at the memorial, and I know better than to approach him when he is here.

The figure in Tom's arms shifts slightly. Miral is asking a question. It's probably the same one. And I know it hurts Tom to have to answer it every time. I kneel down at the headstone before me, and place the daffodils I had brought beneath it. I quickly stand up, bowing my head in a moment of silence, before I headed towards Tom.

"Ready?" I asked him.
"Yeah..." he answers. He gives one last look at B'Elanna's headstone, before shifting Miral's weight and walking off. I fall into step beside him.

As we walked off, I turned around to glance at where I had stood before. Sure enough, he was there. Odd hours, remember? He doesn't show it, but I know he misses Captain Janeway as much as any of us.

END.