A Bard's Last Song

by sophomoric genius

How do you say goodbye to someone who's already gone? Oneshot. Constructive criticism badly needed.

A Bard's Last Song

by: sophomoric genius

Sum: How do you say goodbye to someone who's already gone?

Type: Oneshot.

Author's Notes: A Christmas fic. I haven't written any sort of fiction for the last three or so years and I have grown really rusty. Constructive criticism is badly needed. T.T Please do R&R!

Disclaimer: Although the plot and characterizations are mine, Ragnarok and all other components of the game is copyright Gravity and Lee Myungjin. Any similarities with other fics are purely coincidental unless stated otherwise.

Rating: PG-13 for some very mild swearing.

Several snowflakes were floating lazily around me. I stared at their seductive movement against the wind, swaying slowly, slowly, until at last some of them reached my outstretched palm. The soft, gossamer flakes instantly melted the second they touched my hand. A small smile tugged at the corners of my mouth as old memories flashed fleetingly in my head.

Just then, a cold wind blew rather sharply, unmercifully biting my naked hand. I dug my fingernails to my palm, trying to force it to feel the pain instead of going numb. I hurriedly shoved it back into my glove.

I grew up in the highlands of Payon and I'm actually used to the cold. But even in the coldest of winters there, it was never like this.

Of course it was never like this. You're in Lutie, you moron.

I pulled my cloak closer to my body, trapping whatever heat is left of me. This was one of the rare moments I thank the founders of the bard guild for picking out our covered-from-neck-down outfit. You could only imagine our misery during summer.

I bent my head low, carefully balancing my Apple o' Archer, and took a step forward. The snow crunched softly under my boots. The huge moon hovered above my head, not quite full, yet brilliant as ever. A light breeze played with my hair, tousling its already untidy dark brown locks. I trudged on silently, my mind wandering back to certain events exactly a year ago.

She had long fiery red hair and eyes blue as the sea. A smile from her would be enough to stop any man dead in his tracks. To say that she's beautiful is an understatement. But that's not what made me fall for her. In fact, growing up together, I hardly even noticed her physical features. Back then, if somebody would tell me how pretty my companion was, I wouldn't even think about it. I'd instantly burst into laughter.

Our fathers were best friends. So were our mothers. And our mothers' mothers. They all belong to the same guild. Or a brother guild. Or a guild extension. She and I were friends even before we were born. We were partymates from novicehood all the way till we became archers. She was the reason I became a bard.

Like a faded photograph, the events folded and unfolded in my head for the past year, but instead of slowly fading away like most memories do, it just got sharper and clearer each time.

We had just finished the day's hunting and were resting under a tree on our way home.

"I'm going to be a dancer," she declared all of a sudden.

I looked at her incredulously. "You can't dance," I told her flatly.

"Yes, I can!" she shot back, scowling at me. Her frown slowly turned into a smug grin. "And you should be a bard."

I nearly choked on the apple juice I was drinking. How did she…

"I know for a fact that you've been eying that guitar on one of those merchant stores in Prontera. You dragged me into this endless month-long power-hunt after seeing that guitar and I know you're saving for it. What's the use of buying it if you're not going to use it?"

"Let's get going," I told her, standing up. I pretended to fix my red bandanna to avoid her eyes. "The moon's already out. We told them we'd be back before midnight."

She placed her hand lightly on my arm. "Give it a shot," she told me softly. "I know being a sniper is your father's dream for you, but it's your life, not his." She smiled. "Just talk to him about it. I know he'd understand…" Her smile became uncertain. "..Sooner or later…"

I snorted. "Right."

"Besides," she continued, stepping a few paces ahead before doing a graceful pirouette. "I'll be needing a bard to help me practice my moves.."

I put on an exaggerated look of disgust. "Please don't do that again. It's just not right."

"Shut up!" she made a face before laughing.

I smiled lightly, watching her form move blithely ahead of me. That was the time I realized I love the way she laughed. It was so natural…so…her.

All that month with her, I started to realize things. That her eyes were not only blue; it held some specks of green and gray in them too. That she knew me more than I even know myself. That through out the countless parties I've been in, she's always there, with me.

But the full weight of all those realizations dawned on me just then. I finally realized that I loved her.

Loved her when she went to me crying when her pet poison spore died. Loved her when she accidentally shot me instead of the target in one of our hunts. Loved her when she openly pointed out my mistakes and weaknesses. Simply loved her ever since.

It was already late in the evening when we reached Payon. Normally, most would be already asleep during those hours, but that night was different. It was Christmas Eve.

"Wow," she breathed. "They've really outdone themselves this time. It wasn't like this when we left a couple of months ago."

"I know," I agreed, looking around. Bright lights, crystal balls and shiny ribbons covered almost every tree in sight. Bards and dancers were everywhere. But they weren't the only ones singing and dancing. Almost everybody else was, too.

"Well, would you look at that," she folded her hands across her chest and smirked. "My sister, a highly respectable Priestess, strutting her stuff on the street! Ragnarok is indeed very near!"

"See you later," I laughed before waving goodbye to her and her family.

"Hey, I have an idea," she called out suddenly. "Since it's almost midnight anyway, how about I'll get you your gift now and you get me mine and we'll meet…near that Willow tree by the fence going to Archer Village. What do you say?"

"Excited to open your gift, eh?"

"Actually, excited to see you open yours," she told me with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "Meet you there in five!"

Now what on Midgard could she possible mean by that? I went home, got her present, grabbed a piece of roasted meat and went on to our meeting place. She wasn't there yet. I placed her gift on top of the fence and stared at it for a moment. It wasn't anything fancy, just a red-tailed ribbon. But I was sure it would look great on her. Now that I think of it, anything would look great on her.

I was so stupid. Why didn't I see it coming? We've been friends ever since. But now… It was amazing how quickly my feelings for her changed. Or maybe it has been changing steadily over the years; I was just too blind to see it.

"Still couldn't figure out what I got you, huh?"

I gave a start, almost knocking down my gift for her. Blood rushed to my cheeks, no matter how hard I willed it to stop. Sht.

She laughed. "You're blushing! What in Niffleheim are you blushing for?"

"I'm not blushing! I was just…startled," I muttered, blushing even more. Damn it.

She laughed even harder. "Startled? What the…Ooh, I get it! You thought I got you some of those cheesy little comic books you guys are so keen on reading, right? Sorry, kid, maybe next year…"

"Here!" I shoved her the little ribboned box and started to walk irately away.

"Aw, c'mon!" She went after me, still laughing. "I know it ain't your dream comics but I know you'll like it too! Here, just open it!"

I stopped and sighed, eying warily the long box she offered me.

"It's not gonna explode or anything so you could just open it and get it over with."

I sat down and unwrapped the brightly colored paper and opened the box. Inside was another box, but with its shape, the gift beneath it was unmistakable.

"Open it!" she urged with a big grin. She had already opened my present for her and was trying it on.

I ran my fingers through its smooth cover before unlocking the casing. I lifted the lid, and there it was. A shiny new classic guitar. The exact same one I had my eyes on.

"Well?" she asked, looking at me intently. "What do you think?"

"But how…"

"I had my sister buy it for me. I can't exactly wander Rune-Midgard lugging that thing around without having you notice it, now, can I? It's a good thing she's a Priestess and lives in the Sanctuary in Prontera. I was with you when we were shopping that day, remember? One look at you and I knew instantly you were in love." She winked and flashed me a peace sign. "Am I the best friend ever or what? Now all you have to do is tell your dad."

"Won't be that easy," I smiled weakly. "But thanks. I mean it." I looked at her and noticed the ribbon on her hair. "I only got you a ribbon."

She rolled her eyes. "I know."

"Well then maybe next time you should just tell me what you want, that way you won't give me a headache finding something for you." I told her with a playful shove.

"Fine, then I'll tell you right now what I want for next Christmas!" She thought for a moment, tapping her index finger on her chin. "I know. Next Christmas, I want you to go to Lutie and sing me a song using that guitar I gave you."

I looked at her incredulously. "What? Lutie? Why would I go to Lutie just to sing a song?"

"Because. My theory of Lutie Wind? Remember?" she stared at me expectantly, her hand motioning for me to dig deeper into memory lane.

"Riiight, your theory of Lutie Wind…that the wind from Lutie reaches every place and travels to the farthest ends of the world…"

"Exactly." She grinned.

"How about I give you a tiara instead?"

"That's cool too. Make it a +7 and you've got yourself a deal."

I laughed. "How'd that theory of Lutie Wind suddenly pop in your head, anyway? You made that up ages ago."

She sat down beside me. "We're leaving tomorrow afternoon." Her tone suddenly became serious.

I frowned. "What? But I thought we don't leave for Glast Heim until the week after New Year?"

She smiled soflty. "No, I mean some of the girls are going to Commodo tomorrow for the Dancer quest. They told me that one of the prestigious Dancer/Gypsy guilds is recruiting new talents and they wanted to apply. I decided to come with them." She was watching me intently, alert for even the subtlest changes in my face.

"Oh." I tried to hide my disappointment and look excited for her. But I was no actor. "Well, I hope you make it." A lump was forming in my throat. I shifted my gaze to the ground.

"Thanks," she said, uneasily. "Well, it's not like I'm gonna get accepted to it or anything. I'm sure I'll be back in time for Glast Heim." She chattered on nervously. "You know you should come with us."

"Well, I don't think they accept male dancers," I looked at her, forcing a smile in a pathetic attempt to make light of things. The air surrounding us was so thick; I found the simple act of breathing increasingly hard.

"No, I mean do the Bard quest," she looked straight into my hazel eyes. "It'll be fun."

I had to pull my eyes away from hers. Those eyes could make me do just about anything. "I don't think so," I told her quietly. I stared at the ground. "Some other time, maybe."

Silence.

"Well, speaking of leaving, I have to go. I promised my mum I'll help her with the food," she told me, standing up.

I nodded, still glaring at the grass. "Right. See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah," she muttered, before turning to leave.

My eyes turned to gaze at the guitar beside me. I let my fingers run through the smooth polished wood. You're a complete idiot! You should've told her! She's leaving tomorrow and you couldn't even say anything!

I heaved a sigh. Nothing I could do now. Maybe I should just try tomorrow. I closed the lid of the guitar case and stood up.

When I turned around, I saw her running up to me. Her cheeks were a bit flushed, probably with the run.

"I forgot to greet you," she smiled at me sheepishly. She stepped closer. I felt my heart starting to beat wildly. In one swift motion, she leaned over and kissed me lightly on the lips. "Merry Christmas."

Within seconds, she was gone.

I stood there, paralyzed, for who knows how long. I tried to keep the feel of her lips on mine, savoring its warmth and sweetness. It was a good thing I wasn't carrying the guitar, otherwise I would have dropped it.

When I woke up the next morning, she was gone. I wasn't even able to say goodbye.

Apparently, the Kafra service was down for the holidays and they had to travel by foot. They decided to leave as early as possible.

And so I waited.

After a couple of weeks, some of the girls she went with returned. But there was no sign of her. They told me she got accepted to the guild and had to travel with them.

That was it, then. I lost my partner. I have been so used to having her around that when I realized she was gone, I didn't really know what to do.

I saw her once, though. She never saw me. She was really good. She was having the time of her life. Without me. I realized then that that was probably how it should be.

I became a bard. I had a tough time convincing my father, but he finally gave in when I played the strongest card I have: the Clown's Arrow Vulcan. He urged me to speed up bardhood and become a Clown right away.

But I can't. Not yet anyway. I still have one last song to play as a bard.

I closed my eyes and felt the wind gently caress my face, her ethereal fingers running through my short, dark brown hair.

Lutie's Wind.

She reaches every place and travels to the farthest ends of the world. And tonight, she is my friend. She will be the one to bring my song to the ears of my dancer.

I opened my eyes and gazed down at the blanket of white snow under me. I was standing on the roof of the house of the man who claims to be Santa. I never really believed in Santa. But then again, I never really believed in her theory of Lutie's Wind either. Yet here I am now.

For one night, Santa, lend me the magic of your sleigh. Lend me Lutie's Wind.

I leaned on the chimney and positioned my fingers on the strings of my guitar.

Are you ready, Wind?

As if in reply, a gentle breeze brushed my cheeks. I smiled.

I took a deep breath and started to play.

My heart was so full I thought it would burst. But instead, I sang. I sang out all the emotions I kept so carefully bottled up inside for the past year. I sang for my best friend. I sang for my partner. I sang for my dancer.

Can you hear me, my dancer?

I love you.

Goodbye.

In the midst of the warm air surrounding the Commodo bonfire, a cool wind softly kissed the face of a girl with fiery red hair and eyes blue as the sea. She stopped her lithe, graceful movements and stared deep into the sky.

"What's wrong?" the girl beside her asked.

"I thought I heard something," she whispered. "Music."

Her friend laughed. "Of course, we are dancing to the beat of the music, aren't we?"

The girl continued to stare into the heavens. The moon was so huge, but not quite full. "No, this one's different. It's as if it's played especially for me."

"You're getting weirder by the minute!" her friend laughed again. "Just dance to whatever music you're hearing!"

A smile slowly played on the dancer's lips. She closed her eyes and started to dance anew.