Summary: Ichigo and Orihime are getting married. Orihime constantly tries to cook for the Kurosaki family, and usually does. Karin and Yuzu's POV. Karin and Yuzu end up eating the unusual food Orihime makes. Trying very hard to make this as funny as I can. I apologize if any of the characters seem OOC. Takes place in my fantasies. jk. After the winter war. MY FIRST FANFIC!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Bleach. But if I did I would kill off aizen and gin.

A/N: I support ichiruki so don't kill me! I just had this idea. But I don't support ichihime. Don't kill me if you don't like me. .

Chapter 1: Trying but not succeeding.

Karin's POV

Okay so my bro is like 25 now. He decided he would marry Orihime but as far as I knew I wanted to stay far away from her. I heard about her cooking what it could do. And I'm extremely scared. Not just for me but for Ichigo. Suddenly I heard a screeching voice coming from downstairs.

"Kurosaki-kuuuuuuun! Where are you?"

Not her! No! Please! I quickly grabbed my soccer ball and tried to run away.

"Karin-chaaaaan! Where's Kurosaki-kun?" she asked.

"Ummm…I don't know…" I mumbled.

"Do you want to help me make dinner tonight?"

I swear I could see an evil gleam in her eye.

"Noooo. I'm good. Gotta practice."

"Come on you gotta help me," she whined.

What did my brother see in her? (A/N: poor Karin…sorry for making you suffer DX)

"I'm making my famous Watermelon Stew! Doesn't that sound yummy?"

I twitched. Where was Yuzu? Usually she'd offer to make dinner, making Orihime back down.

"uhhhh…gotta go! I need to practice!"

She grabbed my arm. She's got some muscle there. I could see myself now, me in the hospital Orihime trying to feed me something green and purple at the same time. Then, me as a ghost, watching my own funeral. I shuddered at the thought. Dad you are stupid. STUPID!

I saw myself in the kitchen. So much for my escape. And my stomach. I sighed.

"Now we begin with the watermelons. Chop them up would you?"

I grudgingly held the knife and started cutting it up. I looked over to what she was doing. I stopped myself, not wanting to know what she was doing.

"I'm done! Can I please leave yet?"

"Nope! Go and chop up the squid!"

What? Squid! No, please. Dear God, I will do ANYTHING to get out of this hellhole! And the cooking prodigy, (note the sarcasm). I finished, trying to get out as soon as I could. I put the knife down and silently walked towards the door. Then brief shouting was heard.

"Karin-chan! Please stir the soup while I add more ingredients," she said.

Good-bye cruel world. I went to the soup. It was purple and I think the squid was turning blue. The smell was horrible. I began stirring, hoping some other distraction would stop her from finishing the "stew". I quickly grabbed the phone and called Yuzu.

"Go set the table Karin-chan. I'll call up everyone over for dinner!"

My stomach turned.

Yuzu POV

I was out shopping for more food expecting to make dinner. My phone began ringing.

"Hello?"

"Yuzu! Help! Orihime's cooking tonight. Can you rush home and stop her?" Karin asked.

She sounded desperate.

"Did she finish making the food? I can't make more food if she's finished," I responded.

I think I heard her gulp. Through the phone I heard, "Go set the table Karin-chan. I'll call up everyone over for dinner!"

"Sorry Karin. I've got to go. Bye!"

Dinner is finished, I guess. I walked towards the "Urahara Candy Shop".

*~ TIME SKIP ~*

Karin POV

Everyone was at the dinner table. It was very quiet. The only thing heard was the bubbling of the food. I paled, and so did Yuzu. Ichigo was very, very quiet. Damn it! I couldn't stop her! Dad was being stupid as usual, praising her cooking. Stupid, stupid dad. Too bad I don't have a dog. But if I had a dog, I would feed it the food, but that would be animal cruelty. It would probably die.

As we ate, we all turned green. I got to the bathroom first (thank you!) and barfed. Next was Yuzu, then Dad. Only person oblivious to the horrible cooking: Orihime.

Later that night, I couldn't sleep at all. I think there was squid moving in my stomach. I don't think Yuzu could sleep either. Well good night! (not)

Pig-chan (me): umm…sorry if anyone seems ooc. And tortured. But I assure you it gets better, I think. It's not planned out so it might take a while. It's my first fanfic. I apologize if it's short. And if I suck. And about my ranting. Review!

Jac-chan (my sis): STOP TALKING ALREADY! Boo! Nee-chan wrote about orihime! (dislikes orihime cuz of her uselessness)

Pig-chan: gomen, gomen! (gets beaten up by jac-chan)

Jac-chan: Sayonara! Review! (continues beating up pig-chan)