Candles

Sequel to Trick Or Treat. What happens when Teal'c runs out of candles for Kel'no'reem time? Jacob will not show his face to the world, and Sam is acting very... odd... Randomness ensues. At last, another sugar-induced parody fic.

"AAAAAAH!" A very loud scream of terror echoed throughout the SGC. The Airman guarding Teal'c's door turned to see what was going on.

"Is there anything wrong, sir?" He asked.

"There are no candles!"

"Ah..." He said sarcastically.

Teal'c ran out of his quarters and into Jack's Office/Hangover Recovery Room. Jacob was lying face down with a pillow over his head, internally swearing that he'd never let Selmak near another Red Stripe as long as he lived.

Sam was flirting with Jack, and Daniel was ignoring them all as he ate Jack's wonderful homemade burnt toast and coffee.

"Do I get my kiss yet?" Sam asked impatiently.

"No." Jacob and Jack said simultaneously.

"Humph. You guys sure are a lot of fun."

"I'd love more than anything to kiss you, Sam, but you're not exactly one hundred percent yet, and I don't want you blowing your whole career on me."

"Atta boy." Jacob said from under his pillow.

"You guys are so lucky I didn't turn you in to Janet."

"Yeah, thanks by the way... Hey, what did we do while we were drunk anyways? I don't remember."

"Well, you and Selmak went Christmas caroling on my front porch... You puked on Homer... Sam got Martouf on a sugar high, Jacob got mad at Selmak for getting him drunk without a cure, Sam started dancing the Macarena on her dining room table, and Teal'c drove you all home while intoxicated. Oh! And Sam kissed me!"

"What?"

"Did not!" Daniel said.

"Did too! I still have her lipstick on my face!"

"Ever heard of a shower?"

"Tried that, and scrubbing my face for an hour this morning."

Sam burst out laughing and Daniel put his hands over his ears. "Sorry, Daniel. I got you so bad, sir. I wasn't drunk when I kissed you."

"Why...?"

"Cause you looked so damn cute and I knew it wouldn't come off for another 2 days."

"2 days!"

"Cute?" Daniel asked.

"I'm going to have lipstick on my face for 2 days!"

"You think Jack is cute?"

"It's a girl thing, Daniel. Sam's mom used to call me cute all the time."

"What did I do to deserve lipstick on my face for two days?"

"You stole my chocolate!"

"Oh no." Jacob said rolling his eyes under the pillow.

"I did not! Well okay, maybe a little..."

"O'NEILL!" Teal'c yelled.

"T-man? What's up?"

"My candles... I lost... My candles!" Teal'c fell over in a heap on the floor. Daniel turned to Jack.

"So..."

"Junior didn't exactly finish fixing Teal'c after he almost wrecked the damn car."