Hey everyone! I think this is going to be a series of one shots set in the Golden Trio's twenties. As the summary says, who want's to miss their twenties?! I'm open to any ideas you might have as well, please leave them in the comments or send me a message. Please, please review. It's what keeps me writing! I love hearing what you guys think. I'm new to Harry Potter fanfiction, but the series has always been an obsession, so it's about time. As you know, I do not own anything from Harry Potter- if I did, this would not be up and I would definitely be wherever JK Rowling is right now.
I'm basically following cannon, but I have changed some things concerning relationships. I'm a strong believer that you shouldn't settle down with the first person that you date- and that everyone should experience life alone before settling down. That doesn't mean that couples can't get BACK together and get married, it just means I don't think your twenties should be about one person and one person only. I love Ginny- and I love Ron and Hermione, but for the purpose of more flexible one shots- I decided to mix things up a little.
Please, please review! Thanks again and enjoy! :)
"Not funny Ron."
"What's the bloody problem, Hermione? We're men. For fuck's sake, let us feel like it every once and awhile." Ron's eyes rolled dramatically, his red hair falling over his eyes. Hermione resisted the impulse to push it back affectionately.
"You too- shut it." Harry took a sip of his beer, admiring some witches giggling at something (an apparently funny something- he so wished he could be funny) in the corner.
"I may be an insufferable know it all, as you both so often remind me, but I refuse to hear demeaning terms come out of the mouths of my two best friends! Especially about my own sex." Hermione let out a passionate breath, glaring at the way the two boys were admiring the group of girls in the far corner. Her and Ron had just recently (if five months was considered recently) broken up. Yes, it was on mutual terms, and yes they had both agreed they should expand their horizons, but they had spent almost every day with each other since. How was a girl supposed to move on!
"Hermione, order another butterbeer and let your hair straighten a bit. The tighter those curls are, the larger the stick in your arse usually is." Ron sputtered, trying not to laugh but failing when he looked at Harry.
"Ron, you're a mental git." Harry said, but he was laughing. Hermione watched them try and high five under the table, like she was a complete moron without two perfectly good eyes in her head.
But she laughed. Because her two best friend's laughter was contagious and she loved them.
Harry liked it best when the three of them were laughing.
Ron just liked it when Hermione wasn't acting like, as she put it, "an insufferable know it all."
"I heard a rumor that Mayfloy is getting married." Harry said it casually, waiting for the remarks he knew he could count on his best friends to voice.
"Rubbish, who would want that bottle blonde-fuck face for a husband? Ron snorted. Hermione punched his shoulder, but had the same feelings.
"He's getting married before one of us? Still a such a cockroach." Hermione looked away in distress, wondering how he could have possibly found happiness over her and Ron.
Harry easily read her mind and her face.
"It doesn't mean they are in love, Mione- or even happy for that matter." Harry nudged Hermione's shoulder, forcing a smile onto her distraught face.
Harry saw through her.
Ron was oblivious.
It was tradition.
"Draco doesn't dye his hair Ron, we keep telling you that." Harry muttered.
"Technicalities."
"Big word for you"
"Shut up, Hermione."
"Do you know what it means?"
"Seriously, shut up."
Hermione twisted up her face and mimicked, "Seriously, shut up."
Harry was laughing, "What are we- back in third year? Come on you two, turn to page 394 and get your shit together."
They all laughed, thinking about a time when things were much easier- but verging on something much darker.
"Shall we raise our glasses to the bloody git then?" Ron looked at Hermione, then at Harry- whose face had gone just a little paler, a little sadder, and a great deal more reminiscent of unspoken tragedy.
Harry raised his glass, but said nothing. Hermione took this as her signal to proceed. She was good with words where the boys sometimes couldn't be.
"To Severus Snape, without whom- we would not be here, sitting in this bar, laughing about third year, and wishing we could walk the halls of Hogwarts just one more time before our lives become tragic with impending old age. Old age that we ultimately have him to thank for." The three took a large gulp of butterbeer, looking down at the bar in front of them.
"Remember when Ron vomited slugs?"
And they were laughing again.
"I'll toast to that." Harry laughed.
"To slugs!" The three clinked glasses.
"Did I just hear you guys make a toast to slugs?" A brunette witch, of about their age- was standing off to the right of them, pointedly making eye contact with Harry, even though she had addressed the group.
Hermione felt her eyes roll.
"That's right." Harry smiled at her, charming and boyish to the core.
"Are you Harry Potter?" She asked.
Harry's face dropped slightly. He opened his mouth to answer, but Hermione cut in, "He is, but really- he isn't all that great. Only slightly heroic, mildly cute, and very, very high maintenance. I wouldn't waste your time."
The witch, not sure what to say, moved away from the group automatically, going back to her friends and relying the interaction she had just had with the trio. Harry watched them sadly.
"What did you do that for?" Harry said with a pout directed in Hermione's direction.
"Let's be honest, you know I did you a favor. She liked you because you were Harry Potter. Not because you're...you. No reason to have your heart broken again."
Harry rolled his eyes. "Thanks mum."
"She's right, don't be a pouty bitch." Ron slapped him on the shoulder. "It's time we start organizing these potential girlfriends of yours. Girls who want 'Harry Potter, but are ugly- no pile. Girl's who want 'Harry Potter,' and are hot- sleep with pile. Girls who want Harry for the mushy gushy, romance movie, loves him for who he is shit….maybe pile."
"No- definitely give it a shot pile?" Hermione asked.
"Nah, we're young men. We keep that rubbish at maybe. It's keeps our options open." Ron explained obnoxiously, waving his hands wildly and obviously verging on drunk.
"I was considering swearing off women for a while." Harry said, thinking about how he and Ginny had decided to split last year. Just like Ron and Hermione, they had also decided that their twenties were a time to learn more about themselves, to learn what relationships with other people might feel like.
Harry had to learn who he was in a world without Voldemort. Without Fred Weasley. Without Remus Lupin, Tonks, Snape, Dumbledore...and Sirius.
It was a hard world, honestly.
But he was surviving.
Hermione laughed, bringing Harry out of his thoughts. "I'm being serious!" He stated rather loudly, annoyed that his friends couldn't see him swearing off the fairer sex.
"Harry, women throw themselves at you wherever we go!" Hermione stated.
"Man, why would you want to do that? If a girl threw herself at me- I would, I would,-" Ron couldn't seem to find his words, wondering what exactly he would do if a girl showed that much express interest.
"Sputter and act like a complete moron?" Hermione asked, making a face a Ron and laughing when he turned to look at her meanly.
"I'm fine with the two of you in my life. That's it." Harry stated bluntly, wishing it were the honest truth.
"Rubbish." Hermione said.
"Double rubbish." Echoed Ron. "Don't be pathetic mate, we love you too, but we know you're the settling down type. Like those parents of yours. Fall in love, get married, find a beautiful house in Godric's Hollow, work for the Ministry, have a kid-that's you mate. We know it, you know it, the whole of the bloody wizarding world knows it."
"Whatever." Harry mumbled.
Ron slapped him on that back. Hermione kissed his cheek lightly and laid her head on his shoulder.
"What he said," she whispered, "we do love you too, you know."
He laid his head on top of hers, "I know." He whispered back.
"God, can we have some fun now? The whole of our time at Hogwarts was a bloody mess. Let's order another round." Ron stated loudly.
Hermione lifted her head. "You're already drunk, Ron."
"Another round of butterbeer for us mate," Ron told the barkeeper rather obnoxiously.
"We're 23 Hermione, aren't we supposed to be getting sloshed and making a fool of ourselves?" Harry said in a mocking tone, rolling his eyes.
"Yes," said Ron, "Let's pretend we're muggle college students with nothing to do but drink beer and sleep with girls."
"Sound's like college age muggles to me," said Harry, laughing with Ron.
"Well, if you were taking some higher education classes, then maybe I would let this one pass, but since neither of you are…" started Hermione.
"We can't all have goals to be a permanent student, Hermione. You might be taking classes, but you definitely aren't drinking or sleeping with guys." Ron stated, looking at her pointedly.
"And how would you know that, I ask?" Hermione asked with attitude. It frustrated her when the boys assumed she didn't have a social life.
Harry and Ron looked at each other.
"Because you don't." Ron said bluntly.
"Hpm. And what do you think Harry?" Asked Hermione.
"Sorry, Mione. I'm with this git."
"Ugh, I'm glad you two seem to know me so well." Hermione took a large gulp of her butterbeer, wishing she was very intoxicated, so that she might tell Ron and Harry exactly what she thinks about them.
She looked over to the right, noticing some quite attractive wizards sitting a few feet away from them. She could go over there, show the boys they didn't know nearly as much about her as they would like to claim.
She looked back at the boys. They were still laughing about the fact that they seemed to know everything about her. Laughing.
Hermione got up, walked over to the first random male wizard she saw, and asked if he wanted to buy her a drink.
He did.
After 2 drinks and lots of unnecessary hair flipping, Hermione finally let herself look over at Ron and Harry. The two had their mouths open and were pointedly staring at her and….Ben? She wasn't sure of his name, but she was sure he was successfully helping Hermione to prove her point.
She had the guy. She needed to be drunker.
"How about a couple shots?" She asked Ben (?) sweetly.
"Why, sure thing honey." Hermione flipped her hair for the eleventh time and slowly sat on his lap, throwing a casual arm around his neck.
Ron looked like he might pass out.
Harry looked concerned.
"Maybe we shouldn't give Mione such a hard time." Harry said to Ron, worriedly watching his friend make a spectacle of herself. He would have to go over there and get her soon. He wasn't sure he could take much more of this.
"She's pathetic, we're just joking around." Ron said back, never failing to take his eyes off their friend, who was now gulping down her third shot. "I can't believe she's actually doing this."
"Hermione isn't ugly Ron, we both know that. She's also pretty charming when she want's to be. We shouldn't have assumed she wouldn't pull something like this if we pushed her far enough."
"When do you think we should go get her?" Ron gulped, starting to look angry after Ben ran a hand up Hermione's leg.
"She's an adult."
"She's a moron."
"I don't know Ron."
"I think we should do something."
"Let's give it a little longer, don't have a bloody heart attack. She need's to feel like she made her point. You know Hermione."
"Yes, we do know Hermione. That's all we were saying!" Ron exclaimed.
Harry put a reassuring hand on Ron's back, noticing that he was more upset than someone who was supposedly over his ex-girlfriend should be.
Suddenly, Harry heard Hermione say something rather loud and drunkenly to the wizard whose lap she was sitting on. His head popped up, watching the scene unfold carefully, already moving closer to the couple in anticipation of what Hermione would do next.
"Listen, I might be drunk- but that isn't okay with me, so please keep your hands where I can see them." She told him pointedly.
The wizard laughed and stuck his hand up the front of her shirt. Hermione's hand, like it had a mind of it's own, slapped Ben right across the face.
Ron and Harry jumped up from their seats.
"KEEP YOUR BLOODY HANDS TO YOURSELF, YOU ARSE." Hermione yelled loudly.
Harry was next to her in a second, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her from the immediate vicinity of the hostile wizard. Ron looked like murder, his hands fisted at his side and his face turning redder by the minute. Hermione barely noticed him, her tipsy mind more angry at Ben than she had been at most things in her life. She lashed out wildly, her hands moving in front of her while her mouth threw curses.
Harry merely picked up her struggling frame, muttered a, "come on, Ron," and left the bar with Hermione over his shoulder. Ron followed behind reluctantly, Ben in the background with his mouth hanging open. That had escalated quickly. They all could admit to that.
"Bloody hell, Hermione." Ron said, his face still red.
Harry ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "What were you thinking? He could have hurt you!" He grabbed her by the shoulders, trying to look into her eyes.
There were tears there.
"You guys are mean to me." Hermione winned pathetically.
"Oh god." Ron moaned.
"See! I told you we had finally gotten to her." Harry said to him.
Ron walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "We were just messing with you, Mione. We think that you've dated every bloke you've ever met. We think you're reaching hundreds of dates. And you drink, okay? All the time. You're a bloody drunk, actually. You need help, that's how much you drink. Can we go home now and forget this ever happened?" Ron breathed anxiously.
Harry let out a shaky laugh. "That sounds brilliant."
"I'm going to vomit." Hermione said, rushing to the nearest garbage can and making sounds that the boys could only assume was her throwing up.
Harry walked over, pulled back her hair, and signed.
"Sometimes I'm shocked by you two." Ron stated.
"You two?! I'm not drunk and vomiting my brains out." Harry said incredulously.
"No, but you're holding her hair back like you're some kind of girl at a bloody sleepover or something."
Harry laughed and raised his eyebrows. Hermione stood up, wiped her mouth and looked at Ron.
"I think I've had enough of the college experience." She moaned.
"Let's go home, you lot. I can't take much more of either of you." Harry mumbled.
"Rubbish," said Ron.
"Double Rubbish," said Hermione.
Thanks for reading! If you want to hear more, please, please, please review!
"Turn to page 394."
-Professor Severus Snape