AN: This is written for Mimbillia after her prompt of "Make them go on a journey. And something happens." well, here it is. This is set Pre-Thor. The title is from the Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zero's song Home. Also, I don't own any of these characters.
Arms weighed down with books, Loki makes his way over to his favourite corner of the palace library. In between the shelves, the keeper of the library had placed a large table in the alcove just for him. It didn't bother him, if the keeper wished to keep him out of sight that was fine, he'd rather read in solace.
Taking a seat he grabbed the closest book from his pile and opened the cover, smiling at the sound of the spine cracking. He closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of a barely read book. He had of course read this book before – stumbling across it by accident when looking for a spell to turn anything that Thor touched a particular shade of green. Oh it had been such a wonderful week before his mother had demanded that he rectify the palace.
Loki has learnt almost everything from the books in front of him, but he may have missed something. Today, he plans to carefully read each and every word, line by line so that he cannot miss a thing. There is always something new to learn.
After only an hour he hears the doors slam open and knows that there can only be one person who would dare to disturb the sanctity of the library.
"LOKI!"
He sighs. Thor will simply stand in the centre of the room until Loki appears, rather than actually go looking for him. Well, that can easily be changed.
With a smirk blooming across his face, Loki yells back, "Come and find me brother!" before abandoning his alcove to weave his way between the shelves, making just enough noise to encourage Thor to chase him.
He can practically hear his brother roll his eyes before stomping around the library in search of him. Each time he gets close, Loki slips away - keeping Thor close, but at arm's length.
"Must everything be a game to you brother?" Thor huffs.
"Oh, but you are the Mighty Thor! Surely you can find one such as me."
"I could find you if you would only stand still."
Smirk still in place, Loki keeps the chase going for another five minutes before Thor gives up and is sitting in his alcove, chin resting in the palm of his hand. Disappointing. Loki would have expected Thor to at least try.
Stepping out from the shelves, Loki frowns. "You are no fun brother."
"And you spend far too much time locked away in this dusty library. The sun does not even light the halls! How can you read with so little light?"
Loki gives him a small smile. "There is light enough." Shooing Thor from his chair, Loki sits and begins running his fingers over the fading text. "Did you want something or did you barge in here for no reason other than to disturb me?"
Barking out a laugh, Thor reaches over and ruffles his hair, ignoring the glare Loki levels him with. "We are going on a mighty quest brother!"
"I doubt it." Loki muttered.
"What?"
"Nothing."
Thor charges on with details of his future quest (most of which entails the celebration after said quest) but Loki simply tunes him out. If Thor wasn't going to listen to him or take his hints to leave, then Loki wasn't going to listen to him. He doesn't care to hear about how much ale Thor plans on drinking or which maidens will fawn all over him, he only cares that it will be him who has to drag Thor back to his chambers after becoming too drunk to even stand on his own.
Glancing up he realises that Thor has stopped speaking and is staring at him expectantly.
"Yes?"
"I said: we're leaving in an hour. Do you plan on packing from your seat?"
"Packing?"
"Yes," Thor huffs. "You were not listening were you? We will be gone for three days – the creature is rare and only appears once every hundred years!"
Fantastic. They were going hunting.
"No, thank you."
"But you must come with us!"
"No, I mustn't."
Thor sweeps his arms out and gestures at the room around them. "You cannot lock yourself in doors all day brother; it is not good for you! You should be out in the training yards with your friends, practicing with a sword to become a strong warrior!"
Loki slams his book shut. A strong warrior? Strong? He is already strong – he has already surpassed the many tutors his father had assigned to teach him magic. But that is not good enough, not manly enough. He breathes deeply through his nose and forces a smile to his face – it would not do well to cause a scene here. They already refused to let him take the books back to his chambers – rightfully fearing that he would never return them.
"I know how to fight Thor."
"Well yes, but with such small knives; a sword would be much more beneficial in a battle!"
There is no point in fighting him. Loki will simply be yelled at for 'causing a scene'. He taps his fingers against the desk as he feels a rage building in his chest, constricting his breathing and clouding his mind. He is sick of being looked down for his abilities, being constantly compared to Thor. What is so wonderful about his brother? All he does is fight and drink and make a fool of himself and yet they all trip over their own feet to get his attention.
Then again, one becomes blinded when gazing at the sun for too long.
Pushing away from the table, Loki makes to leave – to put as much distance between himself and his brother before his rage gets the better of him. His mother always says not to let his anger control his actions.
It isn't until he is safely behind his chamber doors that he realises he has left his books behind.
Thor doesn't come after him and Loki is left seething in his chambers for hours, throwing knives at his cupboard doors and imagining Thor's face.
Releasing his last knife, he flicked his fingers back towards himself and watched as they faded in a golden light before reappearing on the bed beside him. He lifts the first one and simply holds it, the light reflecting off the edge of the blade.
He's about to throw it once more when he hears a soft knocking on his door.
"Enter."
His mother glides into the room, casting a look at the now mutilated doors of his cupboard to the knife in his hand.
"Good afternoon Mother."
"Good afternoon my darling." She perches on the edge of his bed, turning her head to gaze into his eyes. He hates when she does this; it is as if she can see into his soul.
Smiling slightly he asks, "And what can I do for you Mother?"
"Well," she smooths out an invisible wrinkle from her many skirts. "You can start by telling me why your brother is stomping around the palace and challenging anyone who crosses his path?"
Loki snorts. "I'm sure it has something to do with his warrior nature."
Frigga sighs and turns to sit next to Loki, her back against the headboard and rearranging her skirts so that he can see her glittering heels as she crosses her ankles on his covers. For all her grandeur, right now she looks more like a mother than a Queen as she relaxes. He has always loved these moments above all others. "Tell me what happened Loki."
He studies his nails and avoids that soul searching gaze. "What makes you think that anything has happened?"
"Because I know you."
"Why has Thor not left on his 'mighty quest' yet?" Loki had hoped that Thor would just leave and forget about him as usual.
"He wishes for you to go with him."
Loki snorts again. "No. He wishes for someone to belittle in front of his friends and then clean up whatever mess I am sure he will make."
Frigga reaches out a hand to smooth down his hair as she did when he was young. "He loves you Loki. He does" she adds at Loki's disbelieving face. "Go with you brother. You never know, he may surprise you."
He's about to refuse but he can see the plea in her eyes and he folds. "Very well Mother. I will go with him. For you though, not for Thor."
She cradles his face and kisses his brow. "Thank you little one."
Loki blushes and pulls away. "I am not so little anymore."
Frigga laughs as she stands. "You will always be my little one, no matter how tall you grow." She winks and sweeps out of his chambers, calling over her shoulder "I will inform your brother that you will meet him in the stables within the hour."
Loki would do as she had said. He had overreacted earlier, he knew that. Thor was only trying to include him and Loki could not fault him for going about it the wrong way. Thor would forgive him, they were brothers after all. They had been in worse fights over less.
He arrives at the stables exactly an hour later – a satchel packed and his best boots on. As he slips through the door, he hears the laughter of his brother and his friends as they gather around Fandral. It appears as if Loki has walked into one of Fandral's dirtier tales of how he wooed a maiden into his bed, if Sif's blush is anything to go by.
It is Volstagg who notices him first, feigning great surprise at his presence. "Well, look who finally decided to show up!"
Loki frowns. "My Mother informed Thor that I would be here within the hour. I am precisely on time."
Volstagg simply shrugs and urges Fandral to continue his tale.
"I don't think so my friend, the atmosphere has been ruined. Besides, such stories should not be told where they can be heard by our Prince's precious ears."
They all laugh raucously and Thor playfully shoves Loki's shoulder as he passes on his way out. Their fight from earlier forgotten.
They had been riding for well over an hour and still no one would tell him where they were headed. Thor appeared to have a map and was gesturing widely at Fandral as they both rode ahead. Loki asked again where this amazing beast was, but the glare he received from Sif made him lower his eyes and keep silent. He was clearly not wanted on this journey by anyone other than Thor. Usually he was tolerated and was therefore shocked at Sif's boldness to give him such a look in Thor's presence. He was obviously too engrossed in his map to notice.
Loki had never seen him read so intently.
"Thor."
"Not now Loki."
"But -"
"Loki please!"
Thor hadn't even bothered to turn around. Perhaps they were lost?
They rode on in relative silence for another ten minutes. Just as Loki was beginning to wonder if he could actually hear running water or if his mind was just conjuring the sound to alleviate the boredom, Thor rounded a corner and cheered.
Not lost then.
And the sound from earlier had not been his mind at all. They came to a small dock nestled into the bank of a river with an even smaller boat attached to it.
"No."
Thor sighed loudly. "Yes, Loki."
"Not a chance."
"Get in the boat."
They stared each other down, a battle of wills taking place.
He was not getting on that boat.
"Are you afraid of getting wet Princess?" Fandral laughed.
"Of course not! I simply do not wish to perish because this pathetic excuse for a vessel cannot hope to hold Volstagg's weight, let alone anyone else's."
Volstagg simply patted his stomach and smiled.
"Brother, the water will not bite you."
Loki turned and glared at Thor. "Of course it will not bite me. You drown in it you absolute fool, it doesn't have to bite you."
Thor clasped his hand on the side of Loki's neck. "Brother, this is not like when we were children. I will not let you fall in again."
"We are not talking about that." Loki whispered.
"I know. But this is different. Please brother, it is the only way to reach Arnlae by nightfall. You know that."
"I can make my own way."
"The distance is too far, you would tire yourself out. Is it worth exhausting your magic simply to avoid a bit of water?"
It wasn't fair. Thor always managed to talk him into doing something he would rather not. Or at least get him to take the blame afterwards. Loki expected him to mention their mother – that was always the easiest way to get Loki to yield. Perhaps today would be different.
"Mother would be proud to hear of you facing your fears."
Loki closed his eyes. Damn Thor. Damn him and his pathetic death trap and damn the river.
It was going to take four hours to reach Arnlae, a small town that ran along the edge of the river.
Four hours stuck on this damn boat, pressed between Volstagg and Hogun while they worked the oars. His stomach roiled each time the vessel rocked, the choppy waves coming into view every now and then. Looking forward, he could see the expanse of the wide river ahead of them and if he closed his eyes he felt as if he would fall in.
He glanced up at the sun. They'd only been sailing for two hours. If he didn't get off this boat soon he was going to go mad. Or become reacquainted with his breakfast.
Loki placed a hand over his stomach and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself. He could teleport and change his shape without upsetting his stomach, but this was one thing he would likely never overcome. He was forever cursed with this terrible fear.
Rationally, he knew there was nothing to be afraid of. When he had been a child, he had been playing too close to the edge of a small lake and slipped on a rock. Loki had not been underwater for long and there had been no current. All he remembers is looking up and seeing the sun create strange patterns above him and the distorted view of his mother's face as she pulled him up.
Loki had not been injured nor swallowed any water, but a fear had stuck with him. One he kept buried deep within himself. A Prince of Asgard does not show weakness – even the second Prince.
A vicious lurch drags Loki from his thoughts – the river has become fast moving and the others struggle to keep the boat straight. Loki looks to the banks of the river on either side of him; he sees thick woods and large rocks. This area should all be farm land by now, leading into the dock of Ered Luin, the closest town to Arnlae.
They've gone the wrong way.
The boat begins to hit the rocks jutting out of the river, pitching them sideways. Loki grabs at someone's arm to steady himself and reaches out with his magic in an attempt to keep the vessel steady but the combination of his queasy stomach and the ache of fear in his throat melts away his spell far too soon.
Loki's breath is knocked out of him as the vessel flips and he is thrown headfirst into the now raging river. He is dragged along by the current and his chest burns with the need to breathe as he tries to pull himself to the surface. He kicks his legs out and his feet manage to hit more rocks, pushing him up until he breaks through and sucks in blessed air. He catches sight of Sif hauling herself onto the river bank before he is dragged back under.
This time, he misses the rocks and is thrown around by the current – panic beginning to truly set in.
Loki slams into a rock and pain flares up his spine. He gasps and water floods his mouth. He tries one last time to reach the surface but suddenly everything is falling away and his world is reduced to a deafening roar in his ears.
His last thought is to cast a shield around himself, hoping that it will at least break his fall.