Title: My Heart Only Breaks When It's Beating
Author: heart2handgun
Summary: Stuck in her hotel room, after a vicious break up with her fiance, Amy tries to figure out where she went wrong.
Disclaimer: I do not own any one you recognize.
Pairings: Amy/Randy
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She just sat there, staring at her now plain left hand, more specifically her wedding ring finger. Well, the finger that until about eight hours ago held her engagement ring. A three carat diamond on a silver band, the only simple piece of jewerly he ever gave her in the four years of their relationship.
Their relationship was one of those "too good to be true" scenarios, where whenever she needed him, he'd be there in a heartbeat. And seeing as though she lost several friends backstage, he's been the only one there for her as of late.
But right now she's needing someone, and there's no one who'll help. She brought this upon herself. Wait, no she didn't. She never asked to be publically humiliated by the love of her life, all for him to call off their engagement, mainly because she was a "stupid, nagging bitch" as he liked to put it. And that public humiliation? Well, he decided to cause a fight between the two of them, in the middle of the cafeteria, which in turn, led to him bringing all of their dirty laundry to the floor. He brought up anything and everything he could that only he knew. Things she would never tell her anyone, even the closest of friends and family.
She figured it was all a part of his plan. He knew she had a huge trust problem with men, but he found a way into her mind, soul, and most of all, heart in just a matter of eleven months. Friends always told her that he wasn't what she was looking for, especially after what Matt and Adam had both done to her since her arrival in the WWE. Both had used to her to further their careers here, while she put hers on hold for both of them, and just when she thought it was different with Randy, but of course it wasn't. He let her have her own matches, as long as he had won his. If he had lost his one week, and she was carded the next week, he wouldn't let her go through with the match.
The once rebel redhead who had loved "life in the fast lane" was pulled along for the ride of someone else. She was the type of person who loved to just up and leave somewhere and travel a foreign country or even city on her own, in search of finding out who she really was, and what her purpose in life was. And whenever she questioned Randy about who she was, he always replied with what he wanted her to be. "A good little house wife a few years down the road, prepping for the birth of a fourth generation superstar, while keeping the house clean and tending to his every need when he was home."
Maybe it was a good thing they broke up. She wasn't made to fit a mold, especially one that tied her down from the extreme lifestyle she had lived her entire life. One she loved too much to give up for anyone, even if it meant going through more heartbreak than she'd ever been through. She couldn't, and wouldn't do it. Not even for the man who held her heart in his hand, even though sometimes he didn't seem to show that he did.
As Amy Dumas clutched the pillow closer to her chest, a fresh batch of tears raced down her cheeks, dampening the pillow and comforter that she had covering her body. Her body shook with every sob, as well as ached seeing as though she thought of no reason to order room service.
What had she done wrong in their relationship? Nothing that she could spot. Any flaws they had lead back to him, but of course his super inflated ego never let that thought get to his head. To her, Randy Orton was every other man that ever entered her life: egotistical, verbally abusive when no one else was around, and more than all, "too good to be true". She was sure she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Randy, so sure that she'd even started picking baby names, seeing as though they talked alot about having kids after she finally left the company she'd been a part of for several years; Raleigh Cate and Ayken Keith.
Both had wanted two children, a boy and a girl, so they had decided when they had their boy, he could get his first initial from his mom and middle name from his father, and the opposite for his sister.
No matter how hard Amy may have wanted the perfect relationship with him, at the moment, she wanted her tears to stop even more. He didn't deserve her tears. Growing up, her mom had taught her, "No man is worth your tears, mainly 'cause the ones that are won't make you cry." She had to be strong, for herself at least.
It only hurts when I'm breathing. My heart only breaks when it's beating. My dreams only die when I'm dreaming. So I hold my breath, to forget.
I can't complain; I'm free again.
If she didn't stop her tears and the heartache for herself, maybe she could for her baby. His baby. The same one she was going to surprise him with news about. News that they'd be parents in just about six months. But it never came.
It only hurts when I breathe.
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End Story.
Possibility that there's a sequel. This was kind of depressing and angsty, so maybe the sequel will be nicer and happier.. I don't know. Let me know what you all think; sequel or no, any thoughts good or bad..
Update Song: "Sweet Kisses" Jessica Simpson
Update Sightings: Nothing
Update Food/Drink: none/coke
Update Mood: tired, sore, sick
Update Date & Time: 10/29/06
-AJ aka Heart2Handgun