"...you know we weren't supposed to. And you know this is my fault. "
Antonio's voice was soft and full of concern. He gently touched Lovino's shoulder and Lovino turned his back to the other man, a deep frown on his face. Antonio sighed, turning his back to Lovino as well, but continuing to speak. "You can't blame yourself...it's not your fault. This is...it's my fault. We're /sinning/. I do this all the time with women, and it's...it's instinct. But you...you're /different/, Lovino. You keep coming back for more, and it...it's wrong, but...I keep taking you, and that makes me the one to blame..." Slowly, he sat up, staring at Lovino. "So you can't think it's your fault."
Lovino's response was to turn over and give him an exasperated look. The first rays of the sun dyed the room a nostalgic orange color, and he turned away from Antonio once more. "...I hate you," he said softly, shutting his eyes. "I never thought I'd have to say it, but I hate you...why do you insist on doing this to me? Why do you do it? Why did you pick /me/ to 'fall in love' with!" The hurt in his voice showed clearly, and Antonio looked away, feeling ashamed of himself. He stood slowly, slipping out of the bed and pulling a robe around himself quietly.
"I'm sorry." It was sincere, and Antonio was sure Lovino knew it, but he also knew the other man wouldn't forgive him. Nobody should ever be forgiven for things like this, Antonio had decided that. This wasn't even...he would go to Hell for doing this. What this was...it wasn't /normal/. To be in bed with, to do such acts with /another man/...so this was what sin felt like. He paced over to the window, pulling the curtains apart further and touching the glass - though the sun shone on it, it was still cold, and Antonio gasped softly as the chill froze his fingers. He shut his eyes, pushing his whole hand to the glass until he adjusted to the cold, sighing. "I could promise you that I won't do it again, but that would be a lie. And I know you'll keep taking me. And I know I'll keep dropping you...you know as well as I do that we can't let people know about this. I'm sorry." His voice broke the second time, and he sighed, pulling back from the window.
Everything they did, it seemed, was necessary. To achieve catharsis by being with one another, and to have the effects reversed by parting again; the thought of it stung Antonio, and he moved to the door quickly, not looking to Lovino. "I'll be going now," he said softly. "...I love you." It was barely above a whisper, but he knew that Lovino had heard him.
"I don't believe you for a second."
"I know." He swiftly shut the door, and left Romano alone yet again