Her thoughts were rapidly being unfilled by him. She knew that it was wrong. She knew how much of a horrible girlfriend she was. Unfortunately, that wasn't enough.
Honesty had become the distant past. With each lie told another unraveled. Aimlessly she had kissed him. Of course he felt familiar, yet, so different. Fun and games were over. Love always led to heartbreak for someone. At least he wasn't suspicious. Yet. He would be. He always had a way of finding out.
At least she had tried to love him. She even told him she did a few times. Saying words and meaning them are so, so different. It was almost hurting. She was in love.
Just not with him.
She was in love with his brother. His own blood. Well, half of it. Just the other night he had treated her best friend to be more prominent then her. Maybe he was drunk. You could never tell with him. He was good at hiding stuff. He probably was hiding a lot.
Feeling worthless was something she was used to by now. Well, maybe not worthless. But so many other words to describe horrible. It's not like she was trying to hurt him. She cared about him. And she couldn't figure out a plausible reason why she didn't love him.
He was charming, smart, funny, sweet, romantic, said all the right things, the person she wished she could be. He didn't mean anything to her though.
Complaint. That was there relationship. She had complained to him about everything. And he always tried to make it better. Never once did he talk about his problems or even say a word about himself. He let her talk. Knowing that's what she needed and wanted.
He also knew that no one knew her as much as he did.
He knew. He knew that she was in love with someone else. But he waited. He waited for her to tell him. That's what he wanted. He wanted to watch her suffer, cry, burn, get hurt but that feeling was quickly pushed out of his mind. He loved her. He was stupid for it though. He knew that.
She needed him, she just didn't know. He did. But he wasn't going to ruin her happy thoughts of his brother. He just wasn't that kind of guy. Oh, how he wanted to be. He wanted to let her know that in the end it would be him that she always needed.
She'll just have to figure that out herself.
There was nothing more he could do then just let her go. It wasn't for the best. Probably for the worst. He remained calm when she kissed him and took a deep breath. But as soon as she started talking he wanted to cry.
His memory was a little foggy but he remembered her telling him that she cared for him deeply and she always would. He had smiled and said he felt the same way. Then she started crying. Barely able to continue she told him she was a liar.
He had raised his eyebrows. She wiped her tears and said she never loved him, she had lied when she told him so. But he was pretty sure he already knew that. Then she abruptly told him it was over.
By then she wasn't crying anymore. In fact she was acting unusually nonchalant. That only made it hurt worse. She stood up a little wobbly, that made him feel a little better.
Then she walked away with a nervous wave.
He didn't cry. He was numb. And he almost wished he could cry just to get it out. He never did cry.
He had seen her in the hallways at school almost every day. And what hurt was watching her with him. His friends were comforting, as comforting as they could be. He didn't mean to follow them to the park that day. He just did.
From a distance he watched him laugh happily together. Maybe they were meant to be. He tried to push that out of his mind but it wouldn't leave him alone. Someday she would she that he was the one for her.
After watching them sit and talk for a little bit he felt like a stalker. He really wasn't. Letting go was hard for him. He wanted to go back to the days when nothing mattered and nothing could ever change between the two.
It had seemed like they were so in love. But she was a "liar." Then he heard his stupid brother yelling at her. He tried to listen to what they were saying but he only picked up a few words. Bracelet. Why. Cares. Take.
They obviously made up in a few minutes because they kissed and walked off happily together. He walked over to the park bench they were on and picked up a broken bracelet. His heart dropped. It was the bracelet he had given her at the docks from the crackerjack box. He squeezed it night before throwing it into the near by fountain.
He watched it sink to the bottom of the fountain. He turned around and saw Lucas and Haley drive by in Lucas' car.
That's when Nathan realized that him and Haley were really over.