Chapter 1;

"J-James? Ar-Are you still awake baby?" Lily asked through a yawn, as she walks into James' office at home. It was three am, and she had woken to find her bed empty, just like how it'd been when she'd gone to sleep. He hadn't even been home when she'd gone to bed. "Are you still awake, love?" James had been working a lot lately, and all Lily wanted was for him to pull her close, stroke her hair and whisper in her ear; okay little dove? Three words. That's all she wanted desperately. Lily missed him. She missed him so much. Their work schedules clashed and they hardly saw each other and it broke her heart.

Lily looked around James' office, taking in the stacks of parchment all over the room and the box of empty ink bottles in the corner.
And then there was James. He was asleep at his desk, again, his head resting against a stack of parchment like it was a pillow.
Lily bit her lip, debating whether or not to wake him.
The last time she'd seen him, which to her disgust was last week, he'd looked absolutely exhausted.
Lily sighed and walked out of the room, flicking the lights off as she went. Lily felt something soft running against one of her legs and she laughed and scooped up her cat.
"You'll keep me company won't you Socks?" The cat purred in response. Lily adored Socks. She was a fairly small, short haired white cat, with only a touch of black, which was a small patch over half her face. Lily had had Socks since her second year and they adored each other.
Lily bumped open the bedroom door with her hip, yawning widely. She then proceeded to crawl into bed and cuddle with the cat, her eyelids growing heavy. Lily drifted off to sleep effortlessly, slightly disappointed that again she would be sleeping without her husband.

A few hours after, she was vaguely aware of James shoving her cat over on the bed. Her cat loved to steal James' spot if he wasn't there. Which due to his work was often and because of that reason, Socks and James never really got along, both continually fighting for Lily's affection.
Lily heard Socks hiss at James and she sat up abruptly, rubbing her eyes while sleepily looking at him.
James Potter was a mess. He had ink covering more than half of his face, he had large dark circles under his eyes and where they usually sparkled with amusement over something or other, they were dull and were red rimmed.
James was currently glaring at the cat, so he missed Lily waking up, but he surely didn't miss her throwing herself into his arms and holding onto him for dear life.
James had to put a hand against the wall so they didn't both fall initially, so only one of his hands wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer to him.
Once they were somewhat balanced, James other hand started stroking Lily's hair tenderly.
"Are you okay, my little dove?"
He whispered in her ear, his voice hoarse and exhausted.
Lily sighed. "I'm okay, hurting I guess..."
James kissed her forehead and continued stroking her dark red hair.
James hated that she was hurting and he couldn't do anything about it. With being an Auror and in the Order of the Pheonix, he and Lily hardly saw each other. He missed her desperately, but he couldn't get time off work and Dumbledore had forbidden Lily to go on any missions, which confused him. When he'd asked why, Dumbledore had smiled knowingly and said; "Only time will tell you James."
"Did you come into the study looking for me, little dove?" He murmured, thinking he'd been hallucinating.
Lily nodded into his chest.
"Yeah around three o'clock, did you hear me?"
Lily noted that there was hope in her voice and sighed internally.
"Vaguely. I'm sorry honey, I've been so exhausted I couldn't make it to bed, and I'm so sorry we aren't spending any time together. I miss you so much, it's killing me inside not to be able to look at your smile all day and hear your sing-song laugh."
Lily' heart leapt and she hugged him tighter. He missed her too. If she didn't know James would never cheat on her, she would have thought he was seeing other women.
Lily gasped softly, the baby had kicked again. She was about six months pregnant. James didn't know that yet, she had been too frightened to tell him. She was pretty lucky; she'd only had a few cases of morning sickness and she was only showing the tiniest bit, which she could hide by wearing baggy shirts.
James picked Lily up and laid her on her side of the bed and kissed her forehead.
"Night, night, little dove."
Tell him, Lily thought, tell him before he finds out himself and gets upset. You'll hurt him, Lily thought to herself. Lily gnawed at her lip and instantly cuddled into the cat, her back to James. Socks didn't mind the baby's frequent reminders he was still there, and cuddled up to her stomach without hesitating.
James looked at her and frowned. He hadn't seen her all week and there was something different about her. For one thing, her choice in pyjamas had changed. Before she just used to wear one of his old t-shirts, now she wore patchy pyjama pants and one of his old Qudditch jerseys, which were huge on her. James knew Lily hated to wear pants to bed, yet here she was. And she hadn't cuddled up to him like she usually would.
"Is the cat a better cuddler than I am?" He heard himself asking as he put his hands behind his head and looked at the ceiling.
He saw Lily jump slightly and she ran her hand over Socks to calm down. "No, but you're never here so I had to make do."
James blinked and looked at her startled. He felt like she'd just slapped him across the face. It would've been better if she had slapped him in the face.
"Lils..." His voice was soft and sad. Lily knew what she'd said was horribly cruel, especially since James had no control over it, but she was upset. She loved this man and people he hated saw him more than her. She felt tears sting her eyes and she felt Socks get up and nuzzle her face, trying to comfort her.
"James go to sleep..."
James' voice had been filled with hurt, but so was hers and her heart was slowly breaking.
"No." He said, sitting up and pulling her up with him. Lily still had her back to him and his eyes filled with tears. "Lils...please..:" His voice broke with emotion and Lily quickly turned around to look at him, her eyes widening.
Lily was breaking his heart. She turned around to face him completely, Socks on her lap.
"James... I'm sorry.. I was cruel.." James took one of her hands and kissed each of her knuckles. "It's okay my little dove. I've been breaking your heart, but there's nothing I can do about it."
Lily looked down guiltily and James gently claimed her chin in one of his hands and tilted her head up so he could look into her eyes.
"We're both hurting, love. Give us time to heal. Together." He pulled her down to the bed and she instantly cuddled into him. He instantly wrapped his arm around her waist, but frowned slightly as his hand skimmed the side of her stomach.
Had Lily put on weight? He was fine with it if she had, but this just startled him.
James opened his mouth to ask but thought better of it. Lily would probably kill him if he brought up weight.
He felt her breathing grow even and she eventually started mumbling softly.
James grinned. He loved her mumbling, it was how James had found actual proof that Lily Evans loved him. He kissed her forehead as she started getting louder.
"Lo-love...Ha-Harry..." James stiffened. Harry? Who the hell is Harry? And why in the world was his wife dreaming about him? James pushed Lily away gently and rolled over, putting his back to her. Socks hissed at James and cuddled into Lily's stomach again. James felt angry and hurt. They were going to make it work, they'd said it. Lily had made him feel guilty and she had another lover.
James couldn't sleep with that news hovering over his head. He stormed down into the garage, and started hitting the punching bag with vigour. James refused to put on the boxing gloves, even though his knuckles were bleeding and getting blood all over his punching bag. He wasn't aware of how much noise he was making in his haste to release his anger.

Lily rolled over and expected to find her husband sleeping soundly behind her, but she found only empty space. She could hear a dull banging from down stairs and she stretched and went to investigate, taking her wand and sticking it behind her ear, almost like a pencil.
Lily entered the garage and found James punching the day lights out of the punching bag.
She could see blood on the punching bag, and she blanched. "James!" She called loud enough to be heard over his desperate punches. James stopped when he saw her standing there. Sweat made his white shirt stick to his well muscled chest and his hair stuck to his forehead. His face was red and he was breathing heavily.
Lily glared at him as she stalked forward and took both his hands in hers and inspected the wounds. "You bloody idiot!" She said angrily. "Come on, go to the kitchen and I'll meet you there."
Lily left and hurried to the lounge room cabinet where she kept all her healing supplies. She grabbed an armful of things and went to the kitchen, where James was sitting at a stool by the counter, his hands bleeding on the counter top. Lily dumped the supplies and filled a bottle of warm water and she took a wash cloth.
Lily started roughly scrubbing away the blood on his hands and James bit his lip angrily.
"Why would you do this to yourself!? Why!?" She asked, once she was satisfied the wounds were clean. She poured a few drops of essence of dittany into the wounds and smirked slightly when he flinched as the wounds smoked lightly and started to close.
"James? Please talk to me!" She begged him, her eyes filling with tears.
James looked up from his hands and saw tears running down her face. He took a double take and sighed.
"Who's Harry?" He asked quietly.
Lily groaned internally. She'd been talking in her sleep.
She realised she had to tell him or he'd do something stupid. He already had, she thought, so, more stupid.
Lily started wrapping his hands in soft bandages, being ever so gentle.
"I'm pregnant." She said, not looking up from his hands.
James' eyes widened and his mouth hung open. "Wh-what!"
Lily flinched slightly. "I'm pregnant James. I'm carrying a boy, and I wanted to name him Harry." Lily pushed herself out of the chair and left him gazing after her like a fool.