Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho

Author: Lady-Kurama

Pairing: Kurama/Botan

Genre: Romance/Angst/Songfic

Rating: R

Title:

Italic bold= Thoughts

Summary: Kurama loved Botan but she's going out with Koenma. He couldn't bear the thought to see the woman he loved in the arms of another so he decided to go to school in the U.S. Six years later, Botan took a vacation and ran into Kurama. He invited her to stay over his house during her vacation. What would happen? Would the love between them resurface and consume them both or would he let her go a second time.

Background info: Story takes places in the United States.

Prologue...

Kurama's P.O.V

Kurama was in his room packing his stuff. He had just graduated in high school and was the class valedictorian. That didn't come as any surprise to his friends since they knew how hard he studied. His mother had been so proud that she cried the whole time during the ceremony. That was three months ago. Summer was coming to an end and soon it would be time to start college. He had applied to several universities in Japan and some over seas. He was accepted to every single one of them but he had decided to go to the United State to studied law. He was to attend Harvard University. It was one of the country's toughest schools and most prestigious. His family and friends had questioned why he had decided to go that far away but he couldn't tell them. They wouldn't understand anyway. The only person who knew his reasons was his best friend Hiei. He knew that Hiei wouldn't say a word to any body. Well at least not to Botan.

Just a few months ago, Kurama and Botan had been the best of friends. They practically told each other everything. But when he discovered that he was incurably in love with the deity of death, he started to avoid her. He had never acted upon his feelings in fear of being rejected. He had never fallen in love before therefore he was totally clueless to his feelings until one night. The night he saw Botan and Koenma kissing. He fell like he had been punched in the stomach and the air was being sucked out of his lungs. At that moment, he couldn't breathe. He couldn't move. It was like he was nailed to the floor. The couple was totally oblivious to his presence. Then he heard Koenma said.

"I love you." He said.

Kurama didn't stick long enough to hear her answer. He didn't want to know her answer. He didn't want to know that she loves Koenma and not him. He experienced a jealousy so great that night. He had never hated anyone as much as he hated Koenma for having that special place inside of Botan's heart. Something he craved but alas, would never have.

A knock was heard on the window. Kurama stopped what he was doing and opened the window. Botan hopped inside and stood before him. She flashed him a smile and he forced himself to return it.

"Hello, Kurama." She said.

"Hi, Botan. How are you doing today?"

"Sad. My best friends is leaving to college and I'm going to miss him a lot."

"I'm sure he's going to miss you, too." He smiled.

"I don't want him to leave but I guess it's okay."

"I don't want to leave either, Botan."

"Then why are you?"

"Harvard is really great school and besides going to the U.S would be a great experience."

"I know. It's just when you're gone I won't have anyone to talk to."

"That's not true. Yusuke and the others would be here. And beside, you can call, write. or e-mail me whenever you want."

"I guess but none of them listen like you do."

"I'm sure they would do their best and besides you have Koenma."

She didn't give any answer.

"Kurama, can I ask you something?" she said.

"Sure."

"Did I do something wrong. It's that why you're going away?"

"Of course not. What makes you think that?"

"You've been avoiding since you receive your acceptance letter. You haven't been the same."

"You didn't do anything wrong, Botan. I guess I've been more preoccupied then I thought."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, you have nothing to do with my decision to leave." He lied.

"Alright. I have one more question to ask you."

"Fire away."

"What do you think of me and Koenma going out?"

He visibly cringed but she didn't notice since she was staring at her feet.

"Why do you ask?"

"I guess that I just wanted to know if you approve."

"You don't need my approval to date."

"I know it just mean a lot to me."

He smiled. He wanted to tell exactly what he thinks about her relationship with Koenma but he kept his opinion to himself.

"As long as you're happy that's all that matters."

"Thanks."

She hugged him and he returned it happily. He loved the feel of her in his arms. The sweet smell of lavender invaded his senses. He reluctantly pulled away from her. He didn't think he could stay this close to her without doing something stupid. But he did it a second too late. She was staring into his eyes and he couldn't tare his eyes from her. He leaned closer and their lips touched. Lightning flashed before their eyes. The kiss didn't last too long. They soon realize what they were doing and pulled away.

"I...I'm sorry." She stuttered.

She dashed out and quickly flew away. Kurama stood in his room like he was frozen. Despite the fact that the kiss didn't last long he didn't regret it. He only regretted that he would never have the chance to do it again.

The following morning, his family and friends escorted him to the airport. He was sad that he was leaving his friends but the thought of seeing Botan and Koenma together everyday was enough to drive the feeling away. But they weren't here now. Botan and Koenma didn't come to say good bye. "Maybe she's still mad at me for kissing her." He thought to himself.

He received a parting gift from all of his friends and family. They hugged him and whispered goodbyes and good lucks. He was going to miss him. He heard his flight number being called. He said goodbye one last time and left for the terminal. He was about to board the plane when he heard someone calling his name. He turned around to see Botan running toward him. Her hair bouncing up and down as she ran. She stooped in from of him and catch her breathe for a minute before she spoke.

"Botan, what are you doing here?" he asked.

"I wanted to say goodbye to you before you leave but I guess I'm a little late."

"No, it's fine. I have at least a minute."

"Well, I won't keep you. I came here to give you this."

She handed him what looks like a note book.

"What is it?"

"It's a scrapbook. I made it for you."

"Thank you."

"You welcome."

"Look...I have to go."

"I know. I hope to see you soon, Kurama."

"Me, too."

She kissed his cheek and hugged him.

"I'm sorry I wasn't the friend you wanted me to be." She whispered in his ears.

He watched as she walked away from the plane. She turned back and waved at him. He waved back and boarded the plane.

It wasn't only after he was hundreds of feet in the air that he realized that he was still holding Botan's gift. He stared at it. It looked like a normal book. It was blue with a picture of the whole gang on the cover. He flipped it open and skimmed through. In there were pictures of all of them. Each picture reminded him of the good and bad times he spent with his friends. Beneath each picture was a note telling exactly what they were doing. It was like Botan didn't want him to forget them.

But how could he forget them. They've been through so much together. How could he forget a woman like her? She was the first woman he ever loved and mostly will ever love. He didn't think any woman could ever take Botan's place in his heart because she was his heart. She's the reason he existed even though she was totally oblivious to his feelings for her.

Maybe going to America was what he needed. Maybe starting a new life would be a good thing. Who knows maybe some day, he will find the strength to accept the fact that Botan would never love him. And who knows, maybe he'll find a new love when he got to America. But he seriously doubted it.

Botan's P.O.V

Botan washed as the plan lifted off. carrying her best friend away form her. She fel tears run down her cheeks. She didn't like the idea of never seeing Kurama again. He was her best friend. He was always there for her whenever she needed him but now she had no one to talk to. Kurama was gone and she couldn't feeling guilty about it. She knew that that his departuere had to have something to do with her but she wasn't sure. Kurama had said that she had nothing to do with his leaving and she had beleived him. She knew Kurama would never lied to her.

Last night after he had kissed her, she went back to Rekai. She felt confused. What had provoked him to kiss her like that? All the while they had been friends, Kurama had never acted romantic toward her and that was one of the reason she had started going out with Koenma. When they first started out as friends, Botan had a slight crush on Kurama. As time passed, she realized that Kurama only see as a sister. He was protective of her. He offered her advice and guidance whenever she needed it. He always cheered her when she was down.

Their relationship with each other was close. Weird, but they were best friends. Everyone thought that Hiei was Kurama's best friend but Botan was the one he toll things that he knew Hiei wouldn't bothered to hear because he think these things were trivial. Botan thought that nothing could come between their friendships. But something did. But what? Kurama only started to avoid her when he learned that he was accepted into Harvard University. But why would he avoid? He didn't make any sense. Come to think of it, she also stated going out with Koenma at the same time. Could it be that? Is it possible that Kurama didn't approve of her relationship with Koenma? If so why would did he say otherwise when she asked him last night. His words came running back; "As long as you're happy, that's all that matter's."

Oh! God, this is such a mess. Was Kurama in love with her? Well, she would never know now. Kurama was gone. It'll be a long time before she saw him. If she ever saw him. She looked up in the sky. The plan was out of sight by now. "Good bye, Kurama. I wish to see you soon because there's something I want to tell you."

She then turned and went to see her friends.

Author's Note: Please review. thanks in advance.