The Fellowship on holiday
Chapter 1: Journey to the East
"Are we there yet?" asked the very impatient Hobbit.
Merry, along with all his friends, had gotten up this morning at
exactly at 4 a.m. because today was the day they were finally going on
holiday! No more troubles, no more worries, no more evil monsters, no more
fiery mountains, and most important of all: no more stupid ring!
Anyway, let's get back to Merry's question...
"Are we there yet?"
No one on the magical flying broom answered him.
Hello?! We're in Middle-Earth here!
Oh yeah...
No one in the cart answered him.
"Please answer me, Gandalf! How soon?"
The four Hobbits turned their heads to look at the Istari, who was holding
the horse's reins.
"We'll be there soon, but don't forget that patience is one of the founding
principles of...
"Okay, it doesn't matter! I didn't want to know that much..."
The Hobbit leaned back against the seat and started a staring contest with
Pippin. The four Hobbits weren't delighted to travel with Gandalf because
even though they liked and respected him, he wasn't much - fun.
As for the others, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, and Boromir, they were happily
traveling behind them, in an other cart.
They were all singing their heads off and were noisily wolf-whistling at
every Elf-maid or woman they came across. But in any case, they were having
a lot of fun.
Pippin flipped around on his seat (well, on the old, rotten, wooden plank
they called a seat...) after an especially loud shout from Boromir to "Look
back here, Hobbits. I'm giving the Elf and Dwarf a bath."
Boromir had accidentally dropped his ale-filled gourd over Legolas and Gimli
and they all burst out laughing, especially Aragorn. Boromir then leaned
over the side of the cart and vomited noisily. It was obvious the herb in
the pipe they were passing to each other wasn't just some Hobbit pipe
weed...
Now Merry had also twisted around and the two Hobbits both looked at the
euphoric group behind them with envy. Now that was what real holidays
should look like!
After two more hours of traveling, they all arrived at a quiet inn beside
the road. Gandalf slowly, and carefully, descended from the cart and
stretched, his bones cracking at several places, as the four Hobbits ran to
see the others.
Boromir and Gimli didn't seem able to even walk in a straight line, whereas
Aragorn and the Elf looked less affected by the ale and the herb.
They entered the inn (after Boromir promised Gandalf not to sing any 'bawdy'
songs while inside).
So all nine of them sat down at a large wooden table in a corner. The inn
was almost empty. Three Elves were having a glass of wine at the counter and
kept turning around discreetly to gaze at a beautiful Elf-maiden, alone at a
table. A Dwarf and a Man were also there, in a dark corner, having a
deep-heated conversation.
They each ordered a pint, even the Hobbits (totally ignoring Gandalf's
comment that they were getting too much).
They were quiet and calm until, without warning, Legolas and Aragorn burst
out laughing, for absolutely no reason at all. The alcohol had finally
caught up with them...
Their almost-hysterical laughter kind of...woke up Boromir, who started
singing (well shouting more than singing actually) and blowing his horn.
"Two-hundred-fifty-thousand bottles of ale on the wall (toot toot)," he
slurred, "two-hundred-fifty-thousand bottles of ale. If one of those bottles
should happen to fall (toot toot) Two-hundred-forty nine-thousand bottles of
ale..."
Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli broke into loud snickers and the other patrons
grimaced in disgust as Gandalf swiftly herded them all out the door, with a
quick, forced smile at the owner of the inn who was staring at them
disapprovingly.
"Boromir! You promised not to sing! And you two!" the Istari continued,
turning to Aragorn and Legolas, "what did you think you were doing,
encouraging him like that?! Everyone was looking at us! Now do you think
this is an example for these little Hobbits?"
His face was bright red and it was quite a contrast with his grey hair.
It was obvious everyone was doing their best not to laugh, but none very
successfully...
"Now get back in the carts and let's get going!" he ordered.
They all struggled to comply, with varying degrees of success. Gimli was, in
the end, forced to lift Boromir on his shoulders to get him in the cart,
while Legolas, already having climbed in, pulled on the big Man's shoulders
to help. At last everyone was settled in and they all set out once more.
The journey continued in its boring fashion, for the Hobbits anyway. Sam was
trying to explain to Merry how to properly cook a duck, while Frodo and
Pippin were both turned around on their seats watching the cart behind,
hoping their drunken friends would offer some sort of distraction.
But even they seemed to have calmed down, except for Boromir who was happily
holding the reins at the front, next to Gimli. They had started a
'disgusting joke-telling contest' and it was very hard to tell who was
winning. As for Aragorn and the Elf, they both looked asleep, and the man
was holding Legolas tight in his arms, hugging him sweetly, while Legolas
stared creepily ahead with unseeing, bloodshot eyes.
"Do you think they're lovers?" asked Frodo with innocent, bright blue eyes.
"Wouldn't surprise me," answered Pip, reluctantly pulling his lips from
Sam's as the two broke their kiss. Frodo turned around and looked at them in
astonishment.
"Sam, what are you doing? You know you and I are lovers!" he shouted
angrily.
"Now don't go gettin' your knickers in a bunch, Mr. Frodo." Sam said
apologetically. "It's just so hard to keep up with which pairing we're doin'
this week."
Frodo nodded, "I guess that's true," he agreed, reaching for an eager Merry.
More time passed, and then...
"Frodo Wake up... Mister Frodo!"
Sam's voice echoed in Frodo's sleepy head. He awoke from his nap with a
jump.
"What? Is Sauron here? Saruman? They want to kill me?!?
"No, Mister Frodo," answered Sam excitedly, "but we're here, we're finally
here!"
End of Chapter 1
Did you like it? Please.. reviews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chapter 1: Journey to the East
"Are we there yet?" asked the very impatient Hobbit.
Merry, along with all his friends, had gotten up this morning at
exactly at 4 a.m. because today was the day they were finally going on
holiday! No more troubles, no more worries, no more evil monsters, no more
fiery mountains, and most important of all: no more stupid ring!
Anyway, let's get back to Merry's question...
"Are we there yet?"
No one on the magical flying broom answered him.
Hello?! We're in Middle-Earth here!
Oh yeah...
No one in the cart answered him.
"Please answer me, Gandalf! How soon?"
The four Hobbits turned their heads to look at the Istari, who was holding
the horse's reins.
"We'll be there soon, but don't forget that patience is one of the founding
principles of...
"Okay, it doesn't matter! I didn't want to know that much..."
The Hobbit leaned back against the seat and started a staring contest with
Pippin. The four Hobbits weren't delighted to travel with Gandalf because
even though they liked and respected him, he wasn't much - fun.
As for the others, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, and Boromir, they were happily
traveling behind them, in an other cart.
They were all singing their heads off and were noisily wolf-whistling at
every Elf-maid or woman they came across. But in any case, they were having
a lot of fun.
Pippin flipped around on his seat (well, on the old, rotten, wooden plank
they called a seat...) after an especially loud shout from Boromir to "Look
back here, Hobbits. I'm giving the Elf and Dwarf a bath."
Boromir had accidentally dropped his ale-filled gourd over Legolas and Gimli
and they all burst out laughing, especially Aragorn. Boromir then leaned
over the side of the cart and vomited noisily. It was obvious the herb in
the pipe they were passing to each other wasn't just some Hobbit pipe
weed...
Now Merry had also twisted around and the two Hobbits both looked at the
euphoric group behind them with envy. Now that was what real holidays
should look like!
After two more hours of traveling, they all arrived at a quiet inn beside
the road. Gandalf slowly, and carefully, descended from the cart and
stretched, his bones cracking at several places, as the four Hobbits ran to
see the others.
Boromir and Gimli didn't seem able to even walk in a straight line, whereas
Aragorn and the Elf looked less affected by the ale and the herb.
They entered the inn (after Boromir promised Gandalf not to sing any 'bawdy'
songs while inside).
So all nine of them sat down at a large wooden table in a corner. The inn
was almost empty. Three Elves were having a glass of wine at the counter and
kept turning around discreetly to gaze at a beautiful Elf-maiden, alone at a
table. A Dwarf and a Man were also there, in a dark corner, having a
deep-heated conversation.
They each ordered a pint, even the Hobbits (totally ignoring Gandalf's
comment that they were getting too much).
They were quiet and calm until, without warning, Legolas and Aragorn burst
out laughing, for absolutely no reason at all. The alcohol had finally
caught up with them...
Their almost-hysterical laughter kind of...woke up Boromir, who started
singing (well shouting more than singing actually) and blowing his horn.
"Two-hundred-fifty-thousand bottles of ale on the wall (toot toot)," he
slurred, "two-hundred-fifty-thousand bottles of ale. If one of those bottles
should happen to fall (toot toot) Two-hundred-forty nine-thousand bottles of
ale..."
Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli broke into loud snickers and the other patrons
grimaced in disgust as Gandalf swiftly herded them all out the door, with a
quick, forced smile at the owner of the inn who was staring at them
disapprovingly.
"Boromir! You promised not to sing! And you two!" the Istari continued,
turning to Aragorn and Legolas, "what did you think you were doing,
encouraging him like that?! Everyone was looking at us! Now do you think
this is an example for these little Hobbits?"
His face was bright red and it was quite a contrast with his grey hair.
It was obvious everyone was doing their best not to laugh, but none very
successfully...
"Now get back in the carts and let's get going!" he ordered.
They all struggled to comply, with varying degrees of success. Gimli was, in
the end, forced to lift Boromir on his shoulders to get him in the cart,
while Legolas, already having climbed in, pulled on the big Man's shoulders
to help. At last everyone was settled in and they all set out once more.
The journey continued in its boring fashion, for the Hobbits anyway. Sam was
trying to explain to Merry how to properly cook a duck, while Frodo and
Pippin were both turned around on their seats watching the cart behind,
hoping their drunken friends would offer some sort of distraction.
But even they seemed to have calmed down, except for Boromir who was happily
holding the reins at the front, next to Gimli. They had started a
'disgusting joke-telling contest' and it was very hard to tell who was
winning. As for Aragorn and the Elf, they both looked asleep, and the man
was holding Legolas tight in his arms, hugging him sweetly, while Legolas
stared creepily ahead with unseeing, bloodshot eyes.
"Do you think they're lovers?" asked Frodo with innocent, bright blue eyes.
"Wouldn't surprise me," answered Pip, reluctantly pulling his lips from
Sam's as the two broke their kiss. Frodo turned around and looked at them in
astonishment.
"Sam, what are you doing? You know you and I are lovers!" he shouted
angrily.
"Now don't go gettin' your knickers in a bunch, Mr. Frodo." Sam said
apologetically. "It's just so hard to keep up with which pairing we're doin'
this week."
Frodo nodded, "I guess that's true," he agreed, reaching for an eager Merry.
More time passed, and then...
"Frodo Wake up... Mister Frodo!"
Sam's voice echoed in Frodo's sleepy head. He awoke from his nap with a
jump.
"What? Is Sauron here? Saruman? They want to kill me?!?
"No, Mister Frodo," answered Sam excitedly, "but we're here, we're finally
here!"
End of Chapter 1
Did you like it? Please.. reviews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!