Summary - Kagome and friends finally completed the Shikon no Tama. Now she has been betrayed and abandoned by her closest friends. Who will she turn to now if she is able to turn to anyone at all?

Disclaimer - I do not own any of the Inuyasha characters, even though I wish I did.

"speech" 'thought' flashback/dream

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Chapter 1: Painful Memories

It was hot out that day. 'Not again,' Kagome thought as her mind wandered to a particularly unpleasant memory.

The picture of an open field came to her as if she were there at that very moment. Suddenly all her friends were with her again. Sango, Kirara, Miroku, Shippo and Inuyasha were all there once more at her side, for the last time.

A sharp pang in her heart tried to will the memory away, but it wouldn't leave until she had remembered it all. She didn't want to relive this time yet again but she didn't seem to have much of a choice.

It was shortly after they had finally defeated Naraku. Inuyasha held the completed jewel in his clawed hand as it sparkled in the sun light. You could hardly believe the thing had caused so much pain and suffering.

Then she was reminded of the battle with Naraku. Everyone had fought together; even Kouga and Sesshomaru had been there to help in Naraku's fall.

She remembered the fight and how they had finished him off together. The problem now was that wasn't the memory that haunted her thoughts.

Sango and Miroku bid her farewell. They were leaving for Sango's village to rebuild it, get married, and start a new life together. Sango was taking Shippo with her, Kagome felt he deserved both a mother and a father again and Kagome wasn't ready for that kind of commitment and she felt that they would take good care of him.

They all left, with Kirara as well, leaving her with only Inuyasha in the wind swept field. A light breeze brought her to face Inuyasha, his face emotionless. He made his wish on the jewel, his lips parted in soundless speech. There was a sudden pain in Kagome's chest as the world began to spin and then fade away. Just as the darkness threatened to send her spiraling into unconsciousness she saw Kikyo approach as a bright light shot from herself to the dead priestess.

She never heard what Inuyasha's wish had been, but she knew perfectly well what it had been. Inuyasha had wished for Kikyo to live once more and to do that Kikyo needed a soul, Kagome's soul.

He had made his decision, he loved Kikyo, and even as she fell to the ground she wished him nothing but happiness with his choice. If that was what would make him happy then so be it. She briefly sensed someone else near by, someone familiar, but at the time she didn't really pay much attention to it or for that matter really care at all.

The darkness surrounded her for a few moments until she was able to push the memories away back into the farthest reaches of her mind knowing only that they would return sooner or later. It seemed so long ago, that day a year ago, but Kagome was still unable to forget. She never saw any of her old friends again after that.

She even avoided Kouga wondering if he would only hurt and betray her as well, even though the ookami prince had come dangerously close to finding her despite her efforts. Strangely enough he was looking for her, really looking for her ever since that day.

It had been a year since the said event and to the day she was still unable to figure out how she had survived, although she surmised that her now being in the form of a youkai was connected to it. She was no particular type of youkai just a youkai.

She had fangs, claws and all the enhanced senses. Her hair had become long with vibrant blue streaking through her ebony black hair. Her eyes had tinted into a lovely violet shade that would have made Miroku jealous. Now at the age of 20, she was slender and she had grown into her body nicely and her face had, through the change, become beautifully sharp and angled. Thinking back on it Kouga probably wouldn't know who she was even if he did find her.

The only depressing part about her new form was that she was unable to travel through the well any longer or maybe it was because the jewel no longer existed. She let out a sigh as she looked around the small clearing. She had stopped there to rest the night before, but when the memories hit that morning when she was to leave she had wound up lingering to long and it was now well into the afternoon.

She sensed someone nearby. It was Kouga and he was looking for her again. Ever since he had begun his search she had managed to elude him, but today she was drained and could not escape him this time. Just as she was able to get to her feet and stay there Kouga found his way to the clearing.

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Kouga was searching again. He was sure that she was near and she wasn't fleeing this time. As he got closer to her scent his mind raced with all the things he wanted to say. When he stepped into the clearing all the words escaped him. The one before him had changed, but it was still his Kagome; she didn't have to look the same for him to be able to tell or for him to still love her just as much.

Unable to find his words again he could only manage to take a step forward and her only reaction was to back up a step as well. No, he couldn't lose her after all this time of looking, not again. He moved quickly, even without the jewel shards, and caught Kagome up in his arms. How he had longed for this; to hold her in his arms.

After he had witnessed the way the hanyou had tossed her aside from the outskirts of the forest that had surrounded the field he had chased after him and nearly kill the mutt for what he had done to her. When he returned he expected to find her body, but she was nowhere to be found and so his search began. How she remained alive and how she had become a youkai he didn't care.

Kouga moved to look into her beautiful tear filled eyes. She had started crying for a reason that Kouga could not think of, but no matter what he would protect her now. "It's okay, Kagome. I'm here now," Kouga soothed. She tried to push away from him, but he brought her in closer and refused to let her go. "Kagome I'm not going to let you leave. Do you know how long I've been looking for you?"

Kagome nodded her head. She had started to cry; she didn't want to cry. She cried enough when she had first woken up on that day. The reason she was crying she didn't really understand herself. It seemed to be a mix of feelings. One she was happy to see him again after so long, another was shock because he still cared so much, and finally was an overwhelming fear. It was a fear of being hurt and betrayed again.

Suddenly she felt herself being lifted off the ground and found herself being carried bridal style by Kouga. She struggled again, but all her efforts were in vain. She was far too tired, as she always was after one of her flashbacks and Kouga was far too strong. Even so Kagome never gave up as she was carried off. He began to follow a river and the scenery became slightly familiar to her. The sound of a water fall in the back round could be heard, and she knew he was taking her to the ookami den.

For the first time in a year she spoke to him, "Kouga, let me go" she said her voice no more than a whisper. Kouga looked down at her the emotions in his eyes startling her.

'What was that, that look just now,' she could have sworn she had seen it somewhere before. Then it struck her, it was the look she had so many times when Inuyasha had

gone off to be with Kikyo, it was a look of heartbreak. Could she have broken his heart just now with just those few little words?

Yes, she supposed. Apparently he did still love her after all and it hurt him when she had asked to be let go. Kagome felt bad in a way, but she still wanted to be left alone she didn't want to get close to anyone again so she continued her struggle.

Quickly looking back up Kouga ran into the den only to be greeted by none other than Ginta and Hakkaku. "Hey Kouga what's--" Ginta began, but stopped mid-sentence when he noticed Kagome.

"You found her," Hakkaku said in an awed whisper and they both moved out of the way as Kouga continued on into the den.

Kagome was so tired she could feel sleep overtaking her quickly, but she needed to get out of there first. Kouga placed her on a bed, which didn't help as she felt her eyes start to close. She prayed to god he would leave so she could escape, but to Kagome's dismay he stayed right by her side. Not only could she not escape, but she was also shone how much he really cared for her, which mad it hurt all the more.

Soon she had fallen into a fitful sleep and Kouga didn't move an inch. He wanted to be the first thing she saw when she woke however long it would be from now, he wanted to show her just how much he still cared.

He knew how hurt she must have been when the mutt had wished back his dead lover and he briefly wondered why the hell Inuyasha would pick any one over Kagome, she was all ways so kind and bright and he couldn't even begin to imagine picking anyone else in the world. Especially Kikyo, she just seemed far to cold from what he knew of her.

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Kagome stood in the darkness and all was quite. Then she heard footsteps coming towards her and she turned to see Inuyasha. She made a move for him when the floor seemed to disappear from under her and she fell through the abyss of the dark. When she landed and got to her feet to look around for Inuyasha he wasn't there anymore. 'It's ok, Kagome. I'm here now,' a voice said to her out of the darkness and she felt arms encircle her. She looked up to see Kouga's blue eyes looking into hers. Then a strange wind began to pick up and she was torn from his grasp. 'KOUGA!' she yelled for him, but she couldn't reach him and he faded out.

"Nooooo!" she sat up and clung to something for dear life.

"Kagome, what's wrong?" asked a clearly concerned Kouga as his arms wrapped around her and he brought her closer. Kagome was breathing heavily as she buried her face in his bare chest.

'Wait, his bare chest,' Kagome thought trying to bring her vision back into focus. Kouga was sitting next to her bed and he had taken his shirt off. It seemed he was changing and he was obviously not expecting her to wake up just yet. Kagome blushed and turned away from him.

"Kagome?" Kouga asked, and then he noticed her blush and mentally smirked. "Kagome is everything alright," he said acting like he hadn't noticed.

"I-it's nothing, j-just a nightmare," Kagome stuttered out. Kagome had turned so her back was to the ookami youkai. Kouga let out a sigh and pulled her to him so that her back was against his chest.

'How do I get her to trust me,' he thought and sighed again. Then he noticed that her head was now resting on his shoulder and her breathing was starting to even out. Well at least she could sleep while he was there and that was something, a start one might say.

A few minutes passed and he noticed that she wasn't thrashing the way she had been before. So, he shifted gently trying his hardest not to wake her and put her down on the furs that made up the bed when she whimpered and clutched at him, but he managed to get her to stay put on the bed. Once he let her go she began to toss and turn again. He didn't like this at all; she didn't seem to be able to sleep peacefully on her own. He settled down on the bed next to her and held her closely as her fit calmed. It was nice that he could calm her down like that; it made him feel like there was a real chance that everything would work out.

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That morning Kagome woke feeling rested, which was strange since sleep was usually anything but restful for her. Then she noticed warmth next to her and snuggled into it wondering what it was. Suddenly, something that felt like a pair of arms pulled her in tight and she could feel warm breath on the back of her neck. Kagome panicked for a minute, but quickly remembered where she was. 'That's right, Kouga finally found me,' but that didn't explain what he was doing in bed with her.

He pulled her close she had snuggled up to him and it drove him crazy. In fact all night he couldn't sleep. He could only think about her and how she was in his arms at last. It was all he could do at the moment not to take her there and then. No, he would wait until she was ready. Kouga knew how much she was hurting still and didn't want to hurt her more, so for now holding her would have to do.

Suddenly screams started to come from outside and Kouga shot up and ran out of the room. Kagome reacted as well and bolted for the door to discern the cause of the pain filled screams. When they arrived at the source they found . . .

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InuyashaForever1989: And so it begins, hehe. This is just something that came to me I hope you enjoy it. Oh and don't forget to review, you must review. . . PLEASE!