I love to write, but I have been blocked in writing my other fanfics. Sorry guys but I needed a break from Left Unsaid and Fire in His Eyes. But both shall have their new chapters posted soon, never fear. In fact Left Unsaid is very close to ending. I always get a bit of writers block when coming to an ending.
Enough about that though, on to my newest brainchild.
This is based on the prompt, "Sweden once made Denmark cry. Sweden also once found out what a truly angry protective Norway is like."
Dragon does not own Hetalia.
Sweden
I sat beside Finland on this Christmas night. The night is still young and all of us were enjoying the peace without a certain Dane around. He would arrive soon so we said mostly nothing to enjoy the silence.
Finland is working contentedly on a quilt he has been making for some time. His careful hands made elaborate stitches in the warmly coloured fabric. Norway and Iceland are on the other sofa sipping spirits and playing a card game of some sort. I sip my own alcohol and quietly observe waiting for an obnoxious Dane to ruin our peace.
As much as I love my brother, sometimes I wish he wasn't so.. him.
As we had all been anticipating, Denmark bursts into Finland's comfy home exclaiming that 'the king of northern Europe has arrived.'
We all collectively roll our eyes which passes under the Dane's notice. He proceeds to loudly try and get us to play games of random types. He must know that we all want to relax, but he is incapable of sitting still.
"Aw come on guys! Don't be such grandpas! Let's have some fun!" Denmark says loudly as usual.
"We are having fun Denmark." Norway replies dryly with an emotionless glare, "or we were until you showed up."
Denmark makes a noise of dismissal, "you guys were totally bored without me don't lie."
Norway rolls his eyes once more, "Yes totally."
Finland is now getting a bit frustrated because he can't concentrate on what he is doing. Denmark is so dense he literally cannot relax. He is ruining Fin's ability to as well even though he knows how stressful this time of year is for the Finn. I am getting a little more irritated than strictly necessary, and the alcohol has loosened my tongue and clouded my judgement.
"W' w'ren't bored. W's enjoyin' our p'ce w'thout ya." I say.
Denmark falters for a moment then goes right back at it, "Come on guys, you know you missed me!"
Norway tries to clean up the situation, as he can tell Denmark is a little hurt now and I am getting on the verge of anger, "Anko, let's just relax tonight. Come here and I'll give you a beer. I know we normally throw a party, but Finland doesn't feel well, and we can always throw it tomorrow."
"But Nooooorge! I am sure a little party would cheer Finny right up! No one can be sad at a party!" The stubborn Dane persists.
I make a noise of frustration, "Den, n' one w'nts t' deal w'th ya r'ght now! J'st stop! Why c'n't ya f'nd a d'ffrent family t' annoy!"
I didn't realize what I said until after a said it. Finland jabs me in the side angrily confirming I went to far. Norway throws a scathing glare in my direction. Iceland worriedly glances at Denmark.
Denmark is shaking and his eyes look misty, "I... But I... Oh S-sve, you guys would m-miss me to much!" He says in a truly pitiful attempt to act like what I said didn't hurt.
"W'd all be gl'd if you were g'ne! D'n't you g't it? You d'n't bel'ng here! We h'te you!" I shout venomously before anyone can stop me. I hear Fin exclaim my name agast but I can't control the words, I say them without thinking. But I sure as hell regret them as soon as they are said.
Denmark's eyes widen a bit and tears fall from them. Real tears, not the ones he pulls sometimes to be dramatic. Then, strangely, he smiles, a sad broken smile, and wraps his arms around his midsection.
"I know.." he mumbles not bothering to wipe tears streaming down his cheeks, "I know you do. I hate me too. But.. can't you.. put up with me a bit? I just.. I'm so.. lonely.. I'll be quiet. I-I promise."
He buries his face in his hands and lets loose heart wrenching sob. I feel about and inch tall and begin to wish I had the ability to turn back time. His slumped shoulders look like they bare the weight of the world and his body tremors from the strength of his sadness.
Norway gets up and tries to reach out to the weeping Dane, "No Dan that isn't-"
"S'ok. I'm going home. I'm sorry I have been bothering you. I-I won't anymore!" Denmark says through his sobs. Then, he quickly makes for the door.
"Ta-san wait, Norway didn't mean no!" Finland says leaping after the Dane after setting his work aside. But it is too late, Denmark's car fires up and the Dane tries to escape the pain I caused.
Norway gives me an angry glare, "You... MORON!"
I jolt not having seen this level of emotion from him before.
"How dare you? Do you even understand what you've done? How could you say that? He was already upset when he showed up!" Norway yells. I have scarcely ever heard him yell.
"I-I didn't kn'w. H' w's j'st. I didn't exp'ct.." I stumble for words.
Norway slaps me so hard my head snaps to the side, "You don't even know him. You don't bother to try. Allow me to enlighten you, you ass. He loves us more than anything. He would die for us. Even you. He acts loud and silly because he wants to see us laugh and he doesn't know how else to be. He is terrified of being abandoned. It keeps him up at night. He hates himself. I can't convince him otherwise. He feels worthless every single day but he puts on a smile and acts big and tough so that no one will see. He likes to be teased, he likes a little argument now and then, because it means someone is paying attention to him enough to play with him a bit. But you, you just meant to hurt him. You did that on purpose."
I'm shocked, both because Norway of all people struck me and because of everything he just revealed to me. The worst part is that it is all perfectly believable. My brother is insufferably hard headed and even if he was mortal danger, he would still hide it from everyone and try to deal with it alone. It doesn't surprise me at all that he would have and hide feelings like those. It does make me feel terrible about having said those things to him. Well, more terrible anyway.
"I d'dn't mean t' h'rt him.. J'st h'ppened." I mumble.
Norway huffs, "Really? You expect me to believe that you latched on to his biggest deepest nightmare like a rabid dog and you somehow didn't want to hurt him? I am not blind, Sweden, and neither are you. You knew exactly how much that would hurt Denmark. You know that he fears that we will one day decide we don't want him anymore and leave him alone. You may not have known exactly how deep that fear is, and you may not have known just how much damage you could do, but you knew it would burn."
I look down in shame because I know he is right. I had at least that much understanding of Denmark.
"Tell me, Sweden, because I'm curious, just how many true blood brothers do you have to spare?" Norway asks me coolly.
My stomach twists wildly with guilt, "Den's my only blood br'ther."
Norway snorts with obvious distaste, "That's interesting; you didn't treat him like family. You treated him like a stray dog at best. That's being generous."
Once again I'm rendered speechless by Norway's scolding.
"I am going after him. You can come if you plan on apologizing to him. Otherwise, if you know what's good for you, you'll stay here and you'll leave him alone." He says. When I make no attempts to move he scoffs and shakes his head before going to grab his coat and leaving.
"You should go." Finland says once Norway is out of earshot.
I don't look him in the eye, I won't dare even lift my gaze from the floor, "I c'n't."
Finland stands up and takes both of my shoulders in his hands forcing me to look at him, "Ta-san is your brother. Family is supposed to be there for each other no matter what. If you don't go now, you will regret it for the rest of your very long life."
And then he goes to bed. I know that even if I tried to follow he wouldn't let me. I also know that I have to go with Norway. I tuck a now sleeping Iceland in and grab my coat before heading out. I barely catch the Norwegian.
We ride in silence the entire time. Norway's face shows nothing but his nervousness is still obvious if you know where to look. I don't have to ask why he is nervous, only hope that there is no reason for him to be.
When we pull into Denmark's driveway, he has beat us there. Probably by about thirty minutes if I had to guess. Norway and I get out and walk past Denmark's Mini Cooper which he didn't bother to park inside the garage and walk into the house. Neither of us bother to knock because we both know he won't answer.
I am at a loss, Denmark's house is pretty large, and he is nowhere to be seen. Norway, however, seems to know exactly where to look and finds the Dane in a minute flat.
"Matthias." The Norwegian mumbles softly to a Dane who is huddled in a corner of his bedroom, wrapped in a blanket and hugging his knees. I feel more guilty when I realize that he was crying still.
Denmark looks up briefly, his eyes swimming with tears, then practically latches onto the Norwegian, "N-Nor! I an-noy you t-to don't I? 'm sor-ry nor!" He says through hiccuping sobs.
"No Den. Shhh. Don't cry anymore." Norway says gently as he pulls the hysterical Dane into his lap.
I feel out of place because I don't know how to be comforting and I have never seen Denmark so upset. Especially not over some stupid thing I said. But just because I haven't seen it doesn't mean it hasn't happened of course. I say plenty of unkind things to him everyday. Come to think of it, he has absolutely no reason to want me around or care what I think. Yet here we are.
"I w-won't! P-promise! Just pl-please don't leave me!" Denmark says trying to stop the tears and clutching Norway as though he was a lifeline. And in a way I suppose he is.
"You know I won't Den. You don't have to be alone. I have the week off and I'll stay here with you. You can even come to my house for a few days after that if you want to." Norway says in response petting the Dane's wild blond hair.
Denmark's eyes close and he gives the saddest smile I have ever seen in my entire life, "You'll get tired of me before that. Sve's right. I'm sorry I'm so... Me. I wish I was someone who was worth loving... But I'm not. I'm defective.."
My heart literally cracks I'm sure of it, and Norway pointedly glares at me, "I have told you before, I think you're great the way your are. And if you don't believe me, ask him."
Denmark opens his crystal blue eyes and looks over Norway's shoulder, S-Sve! I-I..."
For once, I just go into autopilot and say the first thing that comes to mind, "'m sorry f'r what I s'id Den."
Denmark blinks away more tears then shrugs. He lays he head back against Norway's shoulder his whole body slumped in a way that only indicates defeat, "S'fine."
"S'not. I w's drunk. And I g't m'd at you fer s'meth'ng so small. I s'id th'se th'ngs b'cause I knew th'y'd hurt you. N'ne 'f it w's true." I insist.
Denmark sighs, "None of it? Not even a little? Come on sve. I'm not that stupid. I know that I annoy you guys. I know you don't want me around. But well... I am a little selfish I guess. I love you guys a lot and I wanted to spend time with you. Even if I.. even if I knew that I was the odd one out. The one no one really wanted. At least I wasn't totally alone." His grip on Norway's coat tightens.
Norway says nothing but continues to glare at me. I don't know how to fix this but I know that if I don't I will never be able to forgive myself. I also probably won't have a lot of time left alive to try if Norway's death glare is to be trusted. So, I do the first thing I can think of. I sit beside Norway and gesture for him to pass the Dane to me. With much reluctance, he eventually does.
Denmark tenses as rigid as a board but he doesn't make a move to escape my arms. He doesn't look near as comfortable as when Norway held him, then again, Norway probably comforts him more than I do.
"I l've you. I h'ven't g'ven you a reason t' believe me, b't I do. I'm s'rry I m'de you feel unw'nted. I'm s rry fer all those t'rrible th'ngs I s'id. I'm n't good at th's. I d'n't know wh't t' do t' m'ke th's b'tter. B't I know it breaks m'heart t' see you h'rting like th's. And I'd g've anyth'ng t' t'ke it all b'ck so you could sm'le and be really h'ppy wh'n you do." I say. I clutch him close to my heart, almost afraid that he could disappear if I let go.
He is relaxed in my arms now. I can feel that he is thin. Much thinner than he should be. I wonder just how long he has been hiding this.
"I'm so sorry.." I think holding him closer.
"Sve.." he says quietly.
"Please f'rg've me." I say.
He shifts so that we can look at each other and wipes tears off my face, "I'm not mad. I'm surprised. And I'm sad. But I'm not angry at you."
"You should be." I grunt.
He shrugs and puts his head on my chest, "I'm not. This is nice though. I don't remember the last time you gave me a hug."
"Yer thin" I say.
"I don't eat all that much when I get down." He replies. He is being fairly honest right now surprisingly. But he is probably too upset and tired to put up his usual mask.
"Down?" I ask for clarification.
"Depressed." He answers simply.
"D'dn't know you were.." I say feeling more guilty.
"Only nor does. And that's just because he is perceptive and he cornered me to make me spill." He says.
I glance in Norway's direction then turn back to the Dane, "Why d'dn't you t'll me?"
"I figured that you didn't care." He says.
"W'll I do. I w'nna be here fer you. I'll do r'ght th's time." I resolve.
He looks up at me and stares for a moment as if judging my sincerity. Then he gives a slight smile.
"I love you sve." He says.
"I l've you too br'ther." I say.
Once again he sits up and stares at me like he can't believe what I said. I realize guiltily that I haven't acknowledged him as family in decades.
He throws his arms around me laughing and crying all at once.
"C'me on, let's g't you s'meth'ng t' eat. We c'n go back t' m'place t'morrow." I say once he has calmed back down.
We end up having to go out to get food because Denmark has little to nothing in the house. Denmark is smiling a bit and even making a few jokes by the time we get back to his home. I have never been so relieved to hear a stupid pun.
As I am about to head to the guest room, I pass Denmark's room and see him and Norway there in his bed. Denmark is half sitting up and lovingly stroking the sleeping Norwegians hair.
The sight makes me smile and I continue heading to my room. Everything is once again as it should be.