Disclaimer: I don't own the rights of Harvest Moon, nor do I own the "Men In Tights" Theme Song.
Ann In Tights:
An Unconventional Production
One sunny day in peaceful Mineral Town, a spunky lass with braided red hair was busy sweeping its Inn. She wore blue overalls over a bright yellow shirt, and some yellow and red sneakers. She was humming an adventurous song of sorts to herself until she spotted a new stereo by the counter.
"Wow! Since when did we have one of these thingies? Neat!" Ann cried.
She then took a look at some of the CDs that were laid atop the Stereo.
"The Men in Tights Soundtrack?! Oh, man! I haven't seen that in a long time! I really loved that opening number, too! I can finally listen to it again after all these years!" she proclaimed.
The spunky red head then took the CD, and with her mysteriously manifested genius, quickly figured out how to work the Stereo. She then popped in the CD in its proper place, pushed the insert button, and hit play. Sometime later, the opening music began to play.
Ann jumped around with glee as she heard her long lost favorite music play before her. She grabbed her broom and started sweeping while marching around to the beat. She then took in a deep breath as she prepared to sing the lyrics to a bona fide classic…
We're men, we're men in tights.
We roam around the forest looking for fights.
We're men, we're men in tights.
We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!
We may look like sissies, but watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights!
At this time, Ann flexed a muscle and punched the air mightily while gritting her teeth.
We're men, we're men in tights,
Always on guard defending the people's rights.
All of a sudden, Ann busted out wildly in a can-can while sweeping around the Inn vigorously. Somehow, she managed to continue doing her job swiftly and efficiently.
After the brief chorus number was finished, Ann went back to sweeping the Inn at a marching rhythm.
We're men, MANLY men, we're men in tights. Yeah!
We roam around the forest looking for fights.
We're men, we're men in tights.
We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!
We may look like pansies, but don't get us wrong or else we'll put out your lights.
"HYAH!" Ann cried as she again threw her fist into empty air.
We're men, we're men in tights; TIGHT tights!
Always on guard defending the people's rights.
When you're in a fix just call for the men in tights!
We're butch.
At the end of the song, Ann thrusted her broom right at the entrance door, knocking it open.
Outside, someone happened to be wandering through the town outside. This guy had short, raven-black hair and curious sapphire eyes. He wore a fitting light blue jean jacket over a white t-shirt, along with a pair of light jean pants. He also wore a handkerchief with a crimson flame pattern.
Both he and Ann exchanged awkward glances at that particular moment.
"… I'm not even going to ask," the stranger uttered coolly before going about his business.
Feeling utterly embarrassed, the uneasy red head slammed the door before proceeding with her cleaning duties.
Author's Notes: I apologize. After proposing the concept of Ann singing "Men In Tights" in one of my other fics, this popped in my head. I decided that I might as well get it out of my system.
Oddly enough, I hope the Ann fans out there was able to enjoy this. I didn't mean for this to be an outright bashing, even if it feels like it...