this is my second poem, and i probably won't write anymore for a while. it's a little angsty, and for those of you to whom its not clear, the italicized print near the end is Collins speaking to Angel. the normal print is Angel to Collins. This is a little strange near the beginnings, but it gets better.
Go away.
I don't need you.
No, that's a lie.
I can't need you.
I won't need you.
Go away.
I can't depend on you anymore.
I can't let the only reason I wake up
Be that I want to see your face one last time.
I can't let that shiver go through my dying body
Whenever you whisper in my ear.
I can't need that.
Go away.
I won't let your smile brighten my room.
I won't melt into your arms every night
When you lie down beside me and cradle
My spent frame like a mother with a baby.
I won't let myself need you.
Go away.
No more gentle brush of fingers on my hand
To wake me from a feverish sleep.
No more soft laughter to lift me from the depths
Of my own, personal hell.
No more kisses on my neck and forehead and lips
That make me feel as though I'm glowing.
No more needing you.
Go away.
Why?
I can't say.
But please don't be hurt.
Go away.
No, baby, it's not that, never.
How can you think I don't love you?
How can you think that you aren't
The only thing that keeps me going?
How can you think that I'd ever want to let you go?
How can you think I don't need you?
Go away.
Do it for me, baby.
Go away and leave me, I'm begging you.
I can't stand this anymore.
I can't stand to need you like this.
Go away.
You're too good for this.
Too smart.
Too kind.
Too beautiful.
Too wonderful to stay here and waste your life
Beside me and my death sentence.
You don't need to do that.
Go away.
No, don't do that.
Don't…don't!
Don't you dare touch me like that
Talk to me like that
Kiss me like that
Love me like that.
Don't you dare make me need you even more.
I say go away.
You say that you'll stay.
I say that you deserve more.
You say that I'm all you're living for.
We sound like an old country-western song, don't we?
Where are my cowboy boots, right?
God…
More than anything, I don't want to need you.
Go away.
I don't want to tie you down,
Clip your wings and ground you.
You're special; you have more to offer the world
Than wasted time at my bedside.
Please go away.
You need to do this.
Oh shit.
I'm crying.
I've never liked to cry; it just proved that drag queens
Fit the stereotypes.
But you make me cry
And then you stop my tears by kissing me so gently
That my stomach hurts.
I need you, all right?
I've said it.
I need you like hell.
I love you too much, though.
So please, for my sake…
Go away.
You are my light
My beacon
My blanket
My love
My everything.
But guess what?
You're also an idiot sometimes.
How could you think I would ever agree to leave you?
How could you even consider the possibility
That I might let you die alone?
I'm surprised at you, babe.
You know me better than that.
No mater what happens
No matter who tries to tear me away
No matter how much I have to brave to stay here
I'm not leaving.
I love you.
And I always will.
Go away?
Stop talking crazy, Angel.
There's no way I'm letting you down.
I say again…
Guess what?
That's right.
I need you too.