Cutting the Ties that Bind
A/N: Naruto Shippūden episode 364 parody
Beta'd by UberChimerism
In a moment of meta-ness within the Hyūga Clan's family room, Hinata and Neji Hyūga, Neji's teammates Rock Lee and Tenten, and Gaara the Godaime Kazekage sat, watching the three-hundred-sixty-fourth episode of Naruto: Shippūden, "The Ties that Bind".
A while into the episode, Hinata saw herself leap right in front of Naruto. She resisted the urge to facepalm and instead let her jaw drop. "Wh-Why are they making me look like some idiot?! Why not just have me use the Protection of the Eight Trigrams Sixty Four Palms?!" Honestly! What did they take her for?!
Moments later, Neji saw himself leap in front of Hinata, only to get impaled by two wooden stakes. "W…what?! How dare they do this to me! They made me look like a total idiot! I-I am better than that! I am a Jōnin, for goodness's sake!" Unlike his cousin, he gave in to the urge to put his face in his hands and groan. "What did I do to deserve this? Was it because I beat up Hinata all those years ago?"
Hinata, who was sitting next to Neji and now rubbing his back, nodded, her gaze becoming steely. "They made us Hyūga look like morons!"
Rock Lee grit his teeth. "This is an outrage! A complete lack of youthfulness! Neji was too young to die! And as you two stated, an affront to the most honorable Hyūga!" He stood up and for a moment, he looked ready to start opening some Gates. "THIS WILL NOT STAND!"
A hand made of sand smacked some sense into him. "Down, boy."
At the scene playing around her, Tenten sighed deeply. Thank God Gai-sensei wasn't here… She looked at Neji and joined Hinata in rubbing her other teammate's back. "Hey, at least Gaara brought the madness to an end."
Gaara had stepped off of his sand and was standing by the couch. "Quite right. That was beyond shameful." He gave a slight smile. "At least I put that Tobi nutcase in his place with Prison Sand Burial. Imprisoning the whole planet just because his unrequited love died…hah! If suffocation doesn't get him, the pressure will."
A chorus of agreement issued from the room. Surely no more madness would follow, excepting Neji somehow being revived.
Right…?