Description: Caitlin Snow lands her dream job at S.T.A.R. Labs. What she doesn't know is that her new boss is the man she'd almost ruined her entire future career for ten years ago in college. Because Harrison Wells was her first and her *everything*.

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AN: If you're bothered a little by the beginning, please just read this one chapter to the end, ok? And then make up your mind: P

Every woman had a secret regarding her love life that she kept hidden and buried deep down inside her heart. Every woman had a story she'd rather not share with anyone. Caitlin Snow was no different. For her it'd happened exactly ten years ago and, if she were to be honest, she still wasn't over that, the amount of time passing by seeming completely insignificant. Because the way he looked, the way he moved and talked, the way he touched her and kissed her and made love to her… she just couldn't erase that no matter how hard she tired. The thing was that she didn't even want to admit to her own self that she wasn't sure there would ever come a time she would forget and move on. Once those thoughts came to her mind, she always immediately pushed them away, shutting herself down because if that were true, then she didn't know what she lived for anymore and why she even bothered trying to retain some kind of sanity in her life, why she even tried to have a successful relationship if everything after would be ruined anyway.

Of course, keeping this secret stretched to keeping it from her boyfriend as well. Or maybe especially from him. Because if he knew… he might not be there the next day when she woke up and she wasn't quite sure what was better – lying to herself and trying to at least live a semblance of a normal life or just let it go and be alone.

Maybe one of those days she would get her answer.

Or maybe she already knew. No one had ever made her feel the way he had used to. No one had ever had this effect on her again. Not even Barry, the man she claimed to love now. The man who was actually the best out of all the men out there. Who was sweet and caring and considerate. Maybe that was why she chose him. Maybe he simply was the complete opposite to whom she'd used to love and probably still loved. And she knew Barry didn't deserve this, but she couldn't seem to let go because the moment she stopped lying to herself would be the moment she would once and for all shatter and lose herself completely.

Barry was always there for her as his best feature was his reliability. Just as now she got down for breakfast and there were already pancakes waiting for her on the table. Barry just stood there, a cute smile on his face, yet one with no dimples. And she'd used to love someone's dimples once… He might've not smiled all that often, but once he did…

She couldn't go there. She just couldn't.

"I figured you'd need some special treatment today," Barry said when kissing her cheek for good morning. "Have you slept?"

"Surprisingly well, considering…" her voice tailed off as she sat down. She just now seemed to have developed jitters, looking at the food but feeling unable to swallow it. Then again, she remembered how Barry had cooked it all for her, so she forced herself to take a bite and then wash it down with a sip of coffee.

"I'm sure you'll kill it today! I'll be waiting for you when you come back to celebrate!"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Caitlin warned him. "I may not get this job."

"Are you kidding me?! You're the best! I'm sure you'll get it! They'll be lucky to have you!"

Why did he have to be so optimistic? Caitlin suddenly wondered. It was supposed to be a good feature, but she could swear that sometimes it just got on her nerves.

"Well, once you do get the job, I will take you somewhere special and we'll celebrate properly. Maybe during the weekend, what do you say?" he then suggested and she felt a weight in her stomach that wasn't there just a second before. Was he gonna propose? She wondered. And if so, what would she say? She'd chosen him because he was so persistent and sweet and reliable and loving and she knew this man would never leave her, that he would be faithful to her till the end. The problem with this choice was that it was smart, not emotional.

"Sure. Sounds good. Although, if I do get the job, I may go there during the weekend to settle in properly," she then said, partially because she really was planning on it and partially because she wished to prolong the inevitable for a least few more weeks.

"Cait, is there something wrong?" Barry suddenly asked, the smile fading away from his face. When she didn't answer, just staring at her food and picking on it with her fork, he said, "Listen, I'm sorry to bring this up now out of all days, but… you haven't let me touch you for weeks and I begin to seriously worry. Did I do something wrong?"

How could she tell him the truth? She wondered. How could she just tell him that exactly those few weeks ago during the tenth anniversary of her biggest and most heartbreaking breakup, she just couldn't stand the touch of another man? Of a man that wasn't him? How was she supposed to tell Barry that when she'd been a naïve and inexperienced but brilliant nineteen year old student, she'd fallen in love with her single forty year old professor and had a torrid affair with him? How was she supposed to tell Barry that on the day they'd ended things, she vowed never to look him up online or try to check up on him? How was she supposed to reveal that she almost broke that promise but managed to hold on? And it wasn't because he was so much older now than he was then, it was because she was afraid he was happy whereas she was not. She was afraid he'd moved on and made a life for himself whereas she still couldn't get over him.

Yeah, her life sucked despite looking perfect on the outside.

"Barry… I… I have to go. I'll be late," she said before taking one more quick bite of her pancake that tasted like paper in her mouth not because Barry couldn't cook, but because she was so sick with nerves and worry about her own sanity.

Next, she grabbed a bag, put on her heels and left, heading straight to S.T.A.R. Labs to have that job interview. Which she would probably ruin now that her mind was in such a terrible place.

Caitlin expected anything from her job interview, but not this.

"Oh, dr. Caitlin Snow," the receptionist sent her a smile, "dr. Wells will see you right away. Follow me."

That was the moment she felt her mouth going dry.

Did this woman just say dr. Wells?! She must've heard it all wrong, Caitlin told herself, because two months ago when she'd applied for this position, she was sure there was no dr. Wells in charge. It must've been her mind playing tricks on her for sure. She'd just been thinking about him a lot lately and that was why she heard it all wrong. She just heard what she wanted to hear, that was it, right? Because if…

She only found enough courage in herself to look at the boss of the S.T.A.R. Labs when the receptionist closed the door behind her and left them alone.

Only she didn't even have to look up to know how wrong she was to even come here today, because she heard him say in the exact same voice that haunted her dreams for ten years straight, "Snow."

She was dead, she thought, raising her eyes to meet the familiar gorgeous blues that she'd used to gaze into so often in the past, her whole body flushing immediately as blood started flowing faster and faster in her veins. She also blushed when he made a step towards her and didn't just stop there, oh no, he came closer until she could see his face better and he reached his hand to hers when smiling to her.

"It's been a very long time."

Fuck, she thought, she was totally screwed. One thing she couldn't understand – how the hell was he even hotter and more handsome than he'd been ten years ago?! Why was this happening to her?!

"Snow, are you all right? I hoped the shock would wear off by now."

Ten years ago

The moment dr. Harrison Wells walked into the classroom, her whole world changed. It wasn't even that she found him attractive right away and wished him to seduce her, oh no, Caitlin wasn't one of those students. She just saw how brilliant he was, a true genius as he taught the class and made it so interesting she always came to it eagerly, which she couldn't say about some others she barely survived. This man could talk in a way that would immediately make everyone go silent and listen. He had that gift. He could pass on his knowledge so smoothly that Caitlin didn't even have to study all that hard, his examples and explanations making everything clear to her and once a student actually understood what the subject was all about, they could learn it and remember it instead of forgetting everything right after the exam.

He couldn't not notice her either. Caitlin Snow was brilliant, he saw that the very first time he asked her a question, led by an instinct rather than a simple guess. She was always silent and never engaged herself into any discussion, but there was something in the way she was in his class, something in her eyes that told him she understood everything perfectly and had a sharp mind and unusual intelligence. Which she proved to him over and over again every time he asked her a question. After few weeks he knew how to approach her, how to make her speak up and engage in a discussion and he was so proud of the progress she made. It wasn't even that she was learning so fast, it was that she seemed to match his own intellect, which never actually happened to him before. There was just something about Caitlin Snow and he knew she would one day become magnificent in her field of expertise. She was barely nineteen and should have been a child in his eyes, but he never saw her that way. He never could just because she was wise and intelligent beyond her years.

Maybe admitting that was his mistake. Maybe if he hadn't asked her to be his assistant, none of the following would have happened.

Now

"Snow? Caitlin?" That finally did it. She stopped staring at him, seeming to have finally woken up and then she took a deep breath and turned around.

Well, when it came to him, he couldn't stop staring as well, but did his best not to show it. She was even more beautiful than she'd been those ten years ago. In fact, he felt like he'd never in his entire life seen anything quite so flawless, beautiful, delicate and strong in the same time. Memories started coming back to him and he had to close his eyes for a moment, relieved that her back was turned to him now and she couldn't see his expression. He remembered how he kissed those lips and touched this body. He remembered how he was the first at nearly everything they'd done then, how it was to bury himself… He had to fist his hands and exorcize those thoughts because obviously, they wouldn't do him any good now. She probably moved on and even if not, now he was definitely too old for her. He'd been then, too, though. Damn it. Maybe that was their curse. What had been between them, what he still felt, was too much and was way too real to just dismiss it, but they always seemed to be in this horrible position. If he hadn't left before, he would've been ostracized for having an affair with his student and any future career she might have would've already been ruined. Now it was similar as he was to become her boss and even if that wasn't an issue, she probably already had her own life.

"I…" she finally spoke and though it was such a simple word, it stirred something inside of him. He remembered all the sounds she was making when he was inside her, how he made her… stop, he reminded himself, fisting his hands, yet, once again. "I didn't know you were the boss," she finally finished that sentence and then turned back to him. She truly couldn't be more perfect.

"I've just recently taken over this position," he explained. "So, I take it you haven't been checking up on me online."

"No, I couldn't," she answered and this honesty surprised him. "That would be too much."

He nodded after a moment and then said, "Well, it was too much for me as well, but that didn't stop me."

She left it without a comment. Instead, she went with, "Is this why I got this interview two whole months after I applied for the job? I was sure I wouldn't get it."

"Yes," he answered to her terror.

"Oh, God," she just moaned. "I am not good enough, after all!"

"No… that's… Snow, stop, you are," he immediately told her, hating that he almost lost his cool. "The previous boss was an idiot who hired his own daughter."

"And how this is any different?" She pointed at herself and Wells cringed. He would never ever think of her that way and she knew it. He also knew that she didn't mean it like that, but he couldn't help it. The age gap was always a sore point for them and it wasn't even because it bothered them. It was because they could never be together openly, not when he'd been her teacher and she'd been such a young student, even if legal.

"This is different because I know how brilliant and smart you are. I always saw your potential and I know you deserve this job."

"Oh, really? You expect me to just take it and work under you every day from now on?!" she suddenly raised her voice, blushing again when she said the words under you. Obviously, just as they left her mouth, she realized the subtext. "Oh, God, Harrison…" she then sighed when putting her hands on her head and turning away from him once again. "We can't do this. This won't work. How can you even imagine it?!"

"I know that you deserve this job, Snow," he just said. And damn it, why did he have to say her name like that? Like ten years hadn't passed at all? Like they were back on that campus, falling in love? And why had she been so stupid then to fall for him?! Why did she still feel it?! And why did he have to be so damn hot and sexy when he was fifty now?! That was truly incomprehensible to her. This man was like wine and she was falling for the same trap all over again, the truth being that she would walk straight into fire for him.

"You're giving it to me because of our history. You left me, remember?!" she suddenly reminded him when facing him and there was so much pain in her eyes that it rendered him unable to breathe.

"Honestly?" he finally asked her, his voice hoarse and even more so than usual. "Snow, I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought you'd get past this and one day you'd even thank me." He chuckled, seeing the irony. "But you were never just some girl, were you? You were always fierce and independent and you always knew what you wanted, no matter your age. You were wise beyond that." She nodded, swallowing over tears. "I also remember we both agreed on the break up to save both of our future careers before things would get out of control. The question is, what about now?"

"Now…" she hesitated, "now I have a boyfriend who used to be my best friend, so it only felt natural that we…" she stopped, seeing the hurt look on Harrison's face that he desperately wanted to hide. "I needed nice and stable, Harry. I couldn't handle another…" Another what? She thought. Life changing love? "Another you," she finally finished with. "Though, there was never really gonna be any other you."

"As there never was any other you," he agreed with a nod.

She always knew he was married to science. He'd once even told her that. He'd also told her that she shook that belief and made him rethink everything. Well, at least he was still true to himself. He hadn't found a replacement for her, but maybe she'd rather he would. Maybe then it would be easier.

"The job is yours, Snow," he then said. "It's always been yours. You've already proven yourself enough to me and after years of tracking your career and your achievements, I couldn't be more sure. The question is whether you want it."

She bit on her lower lip, a gesture he remembered she'd used to make a lot when struggling with some decision. It was truly driving him crazy and he was afraid his pants would soon get too tight and that she would notice and that he wouldn't be held accountable for what he would do next. It was also killing him that there was another man out there, a much younger man who could touch her and kiss her and…

Harrison couldn't handle this anymore. He walked back to his desk and sat in his chair.

"I shouldn't. By taking this job I will only complicate my life more."

"But it's your dream job, isn't it?" he just asked, boring those damn beautiful blue eyes into hers. "Unless something has changed."

"It hasn't."

"Then take it."

"I am so going to regret this."

"I'll see you tomorrow," he simply said and when she basically ran away from this office, he added just to himself, "and I am so going to regret this, too." He sighed heavily and then buried his face in his hands. God, help him.

AN: This is just a little side fic. I would say a side fic to chill, but yeah… there's no chilling with my stories, right? They're always too serious and too emotional. I was just completely taken over with the idea of Harrison simply being Caitlin's first and this seemed like the only way to approach the subject. The age gap is also one of my favorite things as, ok, guilty here, I also have a thing for older men (but maybe not that old, maybe just ten years plus my age? Well, unless they're Tom Cavanagh hot!), so that's why I love snowells so much.