The fear started at the first kiss, really. His heart had begun to hum with speed, and every nerve in his body was singing fire. It had felt so damned good, to press him up against the granite wall and push his hips right there, and every once in a while a bite would land on his lip and his blood would hiss in the glory of it all. And the best part of it all was the sweet fact that this wasn't a one sided lust, and even better, Ken could reassure himself against the doubt with the touch of a hand.
They had been sweet until Kento stroked him that one last time, and his partner's shaky grip on his mental shields slipped away. Amid the moan of satisfaction, Ken was thrown in a dark blue conscious. All that he knew was that he was alone, so painfully alone, and the sky went on and on and he knew that it was infinite and that he was an inconsequential chess piece on the board of stars.
When Rowen finally managed to take his shields back, the soldier of Hardrock had curled up on the grass with one hand digging into the soil and the other clenching his screaming temples. Somehow Ro'd gotten him home and into bed, though sleep didn't come till Sage was persuaded into donating one of the painkillers he kept for his backaches.
An orange sweatshirt had become Kento's anchor. He avoided the big open streets as much as possible, sticking to dark enclosed alleys instead, but there was always a stretch where he had to cross a street or enter a building. That was when the hood of his sweatshirt came into play, swiftly drawn over his head to create a small dome of shelter. The effect it had was a bit like the blinkers on a horse pulling a carriage. You knew there was something terrifying out there, you simply didn't see it. The lack of being able to tangibly recognize it minimized the fear, and Ken was able to speed through the open air with the least unease possible.
The only time he let go was when he laid hands upon Strata. He was so damned beautiful and erethral and he came back to him every time, only to fall back when Rowen's shields came crashing down. Because though Rowen was his cause, he was also his cure.