Disclaimer: I don't own them, I didn't create them, and I certainly don't profit from them.
Author's Note: So some of this might be a bit of a stretch, but I couldn't resist the luck of the Irish. So I hope you enjoy it.
"Whoa, Bones! What was that for?" Seeley Booth looked more than a little surprised about the sharp pinch he'd just felt right on his derriere and the fact that his partner was the one responsible simply added to his bewilderment. He hadn't been in her office for more than thirty seconds and all he'd managed to do was drop a stack of files on the table in front of her couch and shrug off his suit jacket since he was going to stay for a while.
"I was led to believe that it is customary on Saint Patrick's Day to pinch someone who isn't wearing green." Brennan looked perfectly serious as she regarded Booth's surprise with a little of her own. Perhaps she had misunderstood Angela and she was supposed to slap him instead.
"Did you have to pinch my ass?" Damn the woman really had a strong grip with those fingers of hers. He had buns of steel and she'd managed to find a spot that apparently was made of Jell-o.
"I thought that a pinch was part the rules." She raised an eyebrow. "You don't appear to be wearing green." To emphasize her point, she gave him a once over from head to toe and shrugged her shoulders. "And it is March 17th. That is Saint Patrick's Day isn't it?" Of anyone he should know all about saints and their days.
Booth's pitched upwards. "I'm wearing green." It was true, but he reasoned that no one would dare pinch him, especially given how effective his best FBI Special Agent glare was. Apparently he'd forgotten that Bones was immune to it, or maybe he wanted to forget, but in either case, he hadn't counted on her pinching his ass and there was no way he could pinch her back because she was wearing a sexy green wrap dress that seemed to make her curves even curvier. Pinching someone who was wearing green on Saint Patrick's Day was just all wrong, no matter how tempting it was.
She looked at him again and began to verbally catalogue what she saw. "Your suit is dark grey, your shirt is white, and your tie isn't even as flashy as usual, but it definitely isn't green." The Cocky belt buckle was obviously not green, but maybe he was wearing wild green socks and she just hadn't noticed.
"Trust me, I'm wearing green." He hoped that he sounded convincing because she was going to want evidence and he was sure he couldn't give it to her without seriously embarrassing himself.
She caught a glimpse of his socks, definitely not green with all of those wild blue stripes. She glanced up and smirked. "I don't believe you."
He smirked back. "Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it isn't there." There was a slight sing-song to his voice as if he was dangling something irresistible in front of her face and he was just waiting for her to take the bait.
Brennan seemed to have an epiphany. "If you're wearing green then prove it. From what I can see there is no green visible, which would lead me to believe that it's covered up." She pointed at his pants.
"You're just going to have to trust me on this one." Booth hoped she would just go with it and let it go.
"No. You're going to have to prove it or I'll pinch you again." She was enjoying this way too much and she stepped towards him in challenge.
"I'm not taking off my pants to prove a point." Besides, they were in the middle of her office, in all of his dreams of dropping his pants for Bones not a single one included this scenario.
"You don't have to take them off. You just have to show me the green." She reasoned that as soon as she verified that he was in fact wearing green that they could review the files he'd brought over.
He stood there for what seemed like an eternity and just stared. Just when he was about to cave, she reached for his belt. His eyebrows shot up. "Whoa-ho-ho, there Bones!"
"It'll only take a moment." Her fingers made quick of the buckle and as she reached for the zipper, he backed away. She took a step towards him, her eyes so focused on his zipper that barely registered that he was backed up against the arm of the couch.
"Careful with the hand there." Despite the fact that he was more than capable of doing this himself, she had her hand on his zipper, way too close for comfort.
"Stop moving." She almost had the zipper and then he moved again, just as she began to pull it down.
"Hello!" Booth found himself tumbling backwards and he grabbed onto the nearest thing within reach, which just so happened to be Bones. His pants suddenly lost their battle with gravity about the same time Bones lost hers and landed on him - thankfully the couch broke his fall first.
Brennan found herself sprawled on top of Booth and as she tried to right herself, she caught a glimpse of a bright green pair of boxers emblazoned with the phrase 'Kiss Me I'm Irish'. And just in case this was another Saint Patrick's Day tradition that she was unfamiliar with, she leaned in and did just that with gusto.
Booth mind was spinning into overdrive as he responded on auto pilot. In under five minutes he'd gone from simply walking into his partner's office to making out with her on the couch right in the middle of her office.
This was the best Saint Patrick's Day ever.
Right up to the part where Sweets walked in.
There was a distinct waver in the shrink's voice. "Agent Booth? Doctor Brennan?" Should he stay? Should he leave? They were supposed to review some files for a case they'd asked him to consult on. They were expecting him. He certainly wasn't expecting this. "Guys?"
"This is not what it looks like." Brennan finally pulled her lips away from Booth's and managed to pull herself off of him, miraculously not falling on the floor in the process.
Sweets let out a knowing chuckle. "Looks like you two have had a change in your partnership." He knew he was going to have to tread very carefully or he was sure that Booth was going to threaten to hurt him, or shoot him, or at the very least render his manhood incapable of producing offspring.
Booth wasn't as graceful getting off the couch, but as he swiftly pulled his pants back up and refastened them he shook his head, not quite sure what else to do since Bones seemed to be doing the denial dance. "She didn't believe I was wearing green."
"But I have in fact verified that he is." She glanced over at the man in question and resolved that she wanted to get him alone very soon to continue this celebration of Irishness.
"Okay." Sweets sounded doubtful.
"I am." Booth swallowed hard and recited saints in his head - Saint Patrick being at the top of his list. "Wearing green that is."
"I see." Sweets was trying to formulate some leading questions but was at a bit of a loss just then.
"And he's Irish so I had to kiss him." Brennan hadn't wanted to break the rules after all.
"What?" Booth looked confused. Where in the world had she gotten the idea that he was Irish?
"Your boxers indicated that you were Irish and that I was required to kiss you. I thought it was a tradition." Clearly she had misunderstood.
"Doctor Brennan..." Sweets was ready to launch into an explanation of what was and wasn't tradition on Saint Patrick's Day, but Booth interrupted.
"Sweets, Bones and I need a minute, okay." It wasn't a request, it was a command and one that the young shrink wisely obeyed.
"I'll be right out here when you want to review those files. I need to check with Doctor Saroyan about something anyway." A complete lie, but he didn't think that either one of them cared as long as he disappeared for a while.
With Sweets gone, Booth turned his attention to Bones. His gaze was sincere. "Everyone's Irish on Saint Patrick's Day." He didn't want to talk himself out of that kiss and he didn't think that she did either.
"That would be impossible." She suddenly felt a little unsettled.
Booth smiled reassuringly and stepped towards her. "You didn't have to kiss me. But I definitely enjoyed it." And oh how he wanted to do it again, just as soon as they had no danger of being interrupted.
"As did I." She smiled and took a step towards him. If what he said was true, then he owed her a Saint Patrick's Day kiss too and she wasn't going to waste a minute to collect.
The End