Chapter One

Tower Life

Mist swirled around Julius' robes as he walked softly through the fade. A barren shoreline stretched before him; the pale gray sand merging with the storm-colored sky at the horizon. The dark waters of Lake Calenhad were restless. The waves undulated in time with the mage's heartbeat. The scene was familiar; a nightmare he often found himself in when stress from the waking world wore his barriers down.

Julius paused and turned his head to the right - his blue eyes captivated - as a wooden dock began to shape itself into existence. An imposing warrior in full plate-armor began to form out of the mist where the dock met the shoreline. The flaming sword on his chest plate, the holy symbol of Andraste which marked members of the Templar order, blazed a brilliant blue as the specter turned from his post at the end of the dock and began to walk its length. The waves increased in intensity as Julius' heart began to race. He stood paralyzed by fear and the knowledge that he could do nothing to stop what comes next.

The Templar reached the end of the dock and in his arms the mage could now see that he held a small bundle swaddled in white linens. The Templar turned its head and, regardless of the full helmet covering its face, Julius could feel its eyes meet his. He watched in horrified silence as the Templar raised his burden above the raging surf. He opened his mouth to scream, but no sound would come as he witnessed the Templar dropping his burden into the icy waters. Julius stood helpless as the bundle lost its battle with the waves and slowly sank into the depths. He shut his eyes tight, willing himself to wake, pleading with the Maker for the dream to end. Laughter began to fill the air around the distraught mage, gaining in volume and malicious intent. Suddenly, the sand below Julius' feet dissolved and he was swallowed up by the cold darkness.

OOOO

His eyes shot open. Gasping for breath, Julius began to tear frantically at the sheets wrapped tight around his body. He didn't even register his bed-mate, until a warm arm slipped around his waist and pulled his back flush against a strong chest.

"Shhh…it's okay, you're safe." It took a few moments for the comforting words to register. When his struggling eased, the arm shifted and a hand began to massage gentle, healing magic into the taut muscles of his stomach and abdomen. Despite the warmth of their bare skin, he couldn't stop shaking.

"Easy does it…you're okay now." The voice continued to reassure Julius.

He took a deep breath and rolled over to meet the amber eyes of a beautiful blonde. He smiled in thanks and ran his hand over the man's stubble, stretching his graceful neck to kiss the senior mage's soft lips. Julius paused to take in the sight of his slightly older friend, whose bed he was currently taking refuge in. "Thanks for letting me stay, Anders. I couldn't take another moment trapped in the apprentice quarters."

The senior mage chuckled and stretched his tall, shapely body across the small bed. Julius lazily followed, his head coming to rest on Ander's chest. "You won't be thanking me, when you realize how late you are to your lessons…"

Julius shrugged "Jowan will cover for me; he owes me one." More than one, he added silently. The mage wasn't concerned in the least with skipping morning sessions. They were generally just refreshers on fundamentals he had long since grasped. Sometimes, there were even lectures on the history of the Chantry thrown in for variety, he scoffed mentally. At any rate, he was already serving life in prison for the crime of being born with magic. What punishment could they possibly inflict on him that was worse than that? Hell, it might even make a nice change from the tedium that was tower life. Senior Enchanters, like Wynne, could preach that the tower was a safe haven for mages until they were blue in the face. The truth was, Julius hadn't stepped foot outdoors since he was five years old. He hadn't felt a single ray of sunlight that wasn't filtered through bars set in deep, narrow windows. Windows which, even lacking the bars, were set too high for a man to catch a glimpse of the world beyond these stone walls.

Anders cleared his throat, ensuring that the younger mage was paying attention. "As your mentor, I must say that I am appalled at your blatant disregard for classes." The playful rebuke was followed by a wink. Julius snorted and rolled his eyes. Rotating his head up to face Anders, he watched as the smile slowly faded from his friend's face, settling itself into a frown. "Seriously though, as your friend, you can't pull too many stunts like this."

Julius shook his head in exasperation and felt his long, dark hair slide across bare shoulders. "Says the man who's escaped, unsuccessfully I might add, 4 times now." He grinned and gently poked the elder mage in his ribs, trying to keep the discussion light-hearted.

"That's different; I laid low until after my Harrowing. They can still punish me for the escape attempts, but they can't use the rite of tranquility now. It's illegal to use it on full mages"

Julius shuddered and looked away. The Rite of Tranquility was performed on mages who were either too cowardly to submit to their Harrowing (a rite of passage all apprentices must go through to earn status as a full mage) or deemed too much of a safety-risk to be allowed full use of their magic. Tranquility was a gruesome ordeal which severed the connection between a mage and the fade. Without that connection it left mages husks of their former selves; unable to experience emotions of any kind. Julius tried hard to avoid the tower's resident Tranquils in his day to day life. It was gut-wrenching to see them. Their bodies functioned, they could speak, and they could take direction but the spark – the essence – that made them human (or elf) was gone. "I doubt they'll make me tranquil just for failing to attend a few lessons. Lessons that I've already mastered, by the way" he sneered. His arrogant tone was meant as a joke, but his confidence was well-founded.

Anders raised his eyebrow at his junior but didn't put forth any arguments. It wasn't a secret that Julius was quite talented in the primal and spirit schools of magic, even arcane spells were not giving the mage much trouble. He shifted on the bed and sighed, quietly; his concern for his friend's welfare was not easily put off. Regardless of the casual air Julius projected, he'd known the man for close to 10 years now and could tell when the armor was chipping. The day-to-day life of a circle mage was an exercise in keeping yourself just busy enough that the walls didn't begin to shrink around you. An exercise he himself had trouble with. Thus, all the escape attempts.

"So, what was the nightmare about?"

Julius cringed at the abrupt change of topic. He wasn't in the habit of sharing his fears with anyone. Even old friends like Anders and Jowan didn't know how deeply affected he was by life in the tower. He was brought, kicking and screaming, into the circle at the age of five. Twenty years had passed since, and he knew full well that he would live out the rest of his life surrounded by these walls. Knowing this, he had not made life easy for the senior mages and the First Enchanter who had tried to step into the roles of 'parent' to him over the years. While he was grateful for their attempts, and did see them as a family of sorts, he had always felt awkward accepting their comfort. It wasn't right that he had been ripped away from his birth parents and his warm home. He didn't recall much, but he did remember his mother's voice as she screamed his name and he remembered his father being held down by two large Templars. In his opinion, accepting a surrogate family would be dishonoring the memory of his parents who had fought, unsuccessfully, to keep him free. He used to pretend that he was a lost prince, trapped in a foreign prison and that any moment someone would come swooping to the rescue. He had imagined that rescue; hundreds of shining knights led by his Father, the king, who would storm the Tower gates, slay his captors and ride off into the setting sun to meet his Mother back at their castle. When that never happened, he had turned his bitterness into action and resolved to make life as miserable for his captors as it was for him. Julius smiled to himself. In 20 years he had gained a thorough working knowledge of exactly how easy it was to piss off a Templar and at some point along this path of childish pranks and would be rebellions, he had also come to a realization. In the Tower he didn't own anything, everything was provided for his use by the circle, but it wasn't his possession. The only things Julius truly owned were what he carried with him - his body, his heart and his mind. He had vowed to himself that no one would ever rob him of these. The Templars couldn't break what they couldn't touch and they couldn't steal what he freely gave. So, he maintained the playful arrogance and the cheeky attitude because: one, no one likes a whiner and two, he wouldn't let the Templars have the satisfaction. And, if he was a hero, mentor, lover, or even if he could make a fellow mage laugh (perhaps by 'accidently' setting fire to the Knight Commander's beloved tapestries) he was scoring points, right? So he faced his friend, wrapped his armor of jokes and lewd smiles tightly around him and deflected Anders as best he could.

"I can't quite seem to recall…" Julius teased as he stood from the bed and raised his arms; stretching his lithe figure at just the right angle to give Anders a good show. And Anders always appreciated a good show. His thighs and buttocks were toned from years of running up and down the tower stairs and, while he didn't have the physique of a soldier; his arms, chest, and abs were well developed by hours of daily sparring and staff work. His skin was clear of blemishes, aside from the scar wrapping around his left fore-arm, but he was pale from the lack of sun exposure. As the younger mage turned his lean, rectangular face towards his friend, Anders couldn't help but think that the strong jaw and high cheekbones would be better suited to nobility than to a tower mage. Even the light stubble that consistently graced his jawline couldn't diminish the image.

Anders shook his head to clear the images of last night from his mind. "Bullshit" He said "I'll never understand why you don't trust me enough to help you. You know so much about Jowan and me, yet you share nothing of yourself."

"I shared quite a bit with you last night…" Julius remarked as he waggled his dark, perfectly-shaped eyebrows.

"It's NOT the same, Julius."

"Look, Anders, It's not about 'not trusting you.' And anyway, what does it matter…it was just a bad dream. We're mages, it comes with the territory."

"So…was it a demon, then?" He said quietly. Demons were inhabitants of the fade, creatures that embodied the vices of mankind; sloth, rage, greed and desire to name a few. Because Mages were able to interact with the fade during their dreams, they were attractive to these demons. The demons saw mages as an escape to the waking-world, and were always willing to barter for a 'free ride.' Blood mages often sought out these demons as a way to augment their mana, or power, reserves. The Demon would take their blood sacrifice and convert it into a useable form of magic. Their 'price' depended on the bargain you struck. Often, it was the mage's soul.

"Ugh, I don't…look, it was an awful dream, but it's over. There was no tempting involved, no blood rituals or virgin sacrifices. If it was a demon's handiwork it didn't seem to want anything - other than getting its kicks by harassing me. Can we just drop this?"

Anders studied him as Julius paced the small room, searching for his clothes. He began to pull them on with an efficiency born of practice. Practice more than likely earned in dark corners, hoping the Templars didn't start their next shift early, or the infamous empty broom closets. Not much else you could do to get your kicks around here.

Finally, dropping the subject as a lost cause, Anders changed topics. "I do have a few actual warnings for you."

"Oh?"

"The first should be pretty self-evident, but, you're going to need to take a break from - how shall I put this delicately - tempting the new Templar recruits. It's rumored that you've caught the attention of the Knight Commander and that's never a good thing; especially, when he's still pissed off at you about the tapestry incident."

Julius raised his brows in surprise as the normally, easy-going Anders slipped into his role of mentor. It's how he had first met Anders, actually. Most apprentice mages were assigned an elder who would act as a guide and role-model. Someone with whom you could sympathize and that could answer questions you wouldn't feel comfortable bringing to the senior enchanters' attention. It also gave the elder mages an outlet, something to do with their time.

"Noted, I will refrain myself from corrupting the new recruits. Next?" Julius' voice was muffled by the heavy robes he was pulling over his head.

"You need to speak with Jowan."

"About what?" His voice sounded genuinely curious for the first time since he had woke.

"I'm concerned about him, and I hear the First Enchanter is as well. He's been 'curious' about things he shouldn't be."

"I'm assuming this isn't a harmless, I'm-sure-that-blood-will-wash-out kind of curious"

Anders was silent for a moment, before continuing.

"You're not far off. Jowan…was found to be 'researching' some rather unpleasant techniques."

"Could you please be less vague, Anders? I've only just woken up from what probably amounted to an hour of sleep; the Knight Commander is apparently aware of my liaisons with his recruits; and if he doesn't kill me for that, I am more-than-likely looking at some serious alone time in the dungeons - and not the fun kind. Frankly, I need a bit more context in order to be properly concerned…"

"Are you really so dense?" Anders quickly interrupted. "I'm trying to tell you that the First Enchanter and Knight Commander suspect your best friend of, if not practicing, then at least researching blood magic!"

Julius froze and stared at Anders. He thought he had just heard him say that Jowan was a blood mage and that couldn't possibly be true. It was, in fact, laughable. "Um, Excuse me? Did I hear you right?" He pictured the short, nervous, goof-ball and could only see the friend who had stuck by his side since the day he was escorted into the circle. The friend who had helped him fend off bullies, patched him up when the fights didn't end well, and made him laugh when the world inside the tower got a little too dark. He knew that Jowan had seemed a little down lately, but, everyone has their moments. He would not have sold his soul to a demon because of a few bad days. He wasn't that desperate, right? Julius tried to remember the last time he'd truly had a conversation with his friend. Something other than the old 'how's the weather' joke. Had he really missed something so important?

Anders just stared back at Julius, more serious than he'd ever seen him.

"I need to go. I need to find Jowan." He finished lacing up his knee-high boots and smoothed down his blue apprentice robes.

"Julius, just…be careful, alright? I'm not sure what's going on with Jowan. He won't talk with me. I know that It's all just rumors at this point and I don't believe that Irving or Greagoir have enough evidence to act on them. But, please, for my sake and for your own be smart about this. Guide him from this path if possible, but if not…Andraste's ass, I don't want to lose you both."

"Jowan is my best friend. I'll do whatever it takes…" and with that Julius flew from the room. He walked quickly through the narrow corridors and past his fellow mages; winding his way down the tower stairs towards the ground level where the apprentices were housed. Unlike harrowed mages who had their own rooms, the apprentices all shared one common area for sleeping and socializing, separated by gender of course. It had been explained to him once that the apprentices were housed on the lower levels in the idea that the higher you rose within the tower, the more important you were. He guessed it made some sense, as the Templars quarters were all at the top, directly above the First Enchanter's office, libraries, and such. Personally, Julius preferred the ground floor - it was closer to the door; although he'd yet to figure out a way to take the advantage.

Julius had just arrived in the first of the two long rooms belonging to the circle's apprentices when he heard his name called out. 'Shit,' he thought, 'I don't need this right now.'

The voice was commanding, but oddly soothing for a Templar, one he recognized immediately. He straightened up and turned to face the fair-haired recruit, schooling his expression into one of respectful innocence; an expression which he had to put hours of work into perfecting. It had been the source of much teasing and entertainment for Anders and Jowan.

"Can I help you Ser Cullen?" Julius replied, adding a bit of honey to his voice - a smooth tone that had won him out of a few scuffles and into just as many beds.

"Yes, actually…well, I…If you could please…" Cullen flushed pink and bumbled a bit with his words.

Julius breathed deeply and held onto his patient expression for all that he was worth. While he did prefer his Templars shy and polite, his concern for Jowan was making him quickly lose his cool. He had other places to be and potential blood mage/best friends to find. He tilted his head, encouraging the young recruit to continue.

"Knight Commander Gregoir and First Enchanter Irving request your presence immediately."

'Double shit,' he thought, but continued smoothly "May I ask what this is regarding?"

"I believe it is regarding your harrowing; however, I cannot be certain. I apologize for the inconvenience" Cullen shifted his weight from foot to foot and looked as if he had no idea what to do with his hands. At any other time, Julius would have found it adorable.

'Double shit and rocks!' He tried to keep his expression impassive as his heart began to beat a wild staccato. Logically, he knew that his Harrowing would have been coming up soon, but he had tried not to think about it. The ritual involved with the Harrowing was shrouded in secrecy. The only thing he was certain of was that Templars came and retrieved the 'lucky' apprentice and either you returned a successfully-harrowed mage, or you were never seen again. All the senior mages he had tried to cajole secrets out of kept their silence, even Anders would not let slip any information. Julius remembered his dream and wondered briefly if unsuccessful mages were simply disposed of in the lake.

Something of this fear must have shown on his face, for Cullen began to offer encouragement "I'm sure, Apprentice Amell, that everything will go smoothly. Now, if you will just follow me, we'll go see the Knight Commander and First Enchanter and they will explain things more fully."

Julius continued to stare forward until he felt a gauntleted hand rest briefly on his shoulder. The gentle contact startled him out of his contemplation and he met Cullen's warm eyes. They were filled with compassion at the moment but Julius knew that soon the recruit would lose that warmth and that it would be replaced by suspicion and steel. He felt grief for that loss and wondered if there would ever be a time when mages and Templars could live and work together as equals. He nodded briefly in thanks for the kind words and gestured for the Templar to lead the way. He silently prayed to the Maker that Jowan could refrain from being an idiot long enough for him to survive the Harrowing and find him after. If there was an 'after.'

OOO

A/N: I'm really having a fun time writing this story. That being said, I write very slowly. This will be an EVENTUAL Amell x Zevran romance, but my goal is to keep it away from fluff as much as possible (although, I'm a sap and fluff happens). I'd like to focus more on Julius' development from tower shut-in into the Warden. As a warning, there will be some very light naughty bits and some language but I'm not trying to write porn. I'll try to keep it T in content but will probably rate it M for safety. Two chapters are written and more are planned out. I will continue to post them if there seems to be an interest in the story. To be honest, I like my character and would love to see how it all works out for him; so I may continue regardless. All reviews are welcome. I edit my own stories and I'm decent at the glaringly obvious stuff but I am not a professional and would love to hear technical critiques from other writers.