Disclaimer: Homestuck does not belong to me. Never has and never will.

A/N: Uses my own headcanon for Troll anatomy. Not the one you usually see.

Xenosexual

Her

"So," Rose said one evening, already three glasses deep. "When are you going to tell me what you've got under your clothes?"

Kanaya choked on her grubloaf, a meal long alchemized over and over from the original foodstuffs brought in by the Alternians. Sometimes Kanaya wondered whether its lack of taste had more to do with the many times it had been alchemized, or with the fact that blood was just so much better.

After recovering, Kanaya paused to consider the human's words. "Rose… are you implying that you wish to move to a more concupiscent phase of our relationship?"

"You cannot blame me for being curious," Rose smiled. "I continually hear references to such exotic reproductive paraphernalia as filial pails and mother grubs, and I suppose I want to learn about how it all… fits together." She interlaced her fingers illustratively.

Kanaya glanced around, blushing, and was relieved to see that no one else was around. "I'm certain that we've covered this before, Rose. The drones collect genetic material in filial pails for the mother grub, from both Kismesissitudes and Matespritships. This material is combined by the Mother Grub in an incestuous-"

Rose waved her had dismissively. "Yes, yes. But what about the Kismesisses and Matesprits?"

"Well… they… they need to produce the genetic material requested by the drones-"

"And you never… 'produce genetic material'… otherwise...?"

"We can, but-"

"And do you…. enjoy doing so?"

"Well… yes, but again, it's quite exhausting to do so."

Rose leaned over and kissed Kanaya, who sighed through her nose, enjoying the alien's soft lips on her own.

"Then let's try this now, before I get too drunk," Rose whispered, voice husky. "Since you may need to rest afterwards."

Kanaya opened her mouth to say something about hasty decisions, but her heart was thumping crazily behind her ribs, and her rumble spheres were tingling almost as intently. And when she parted her lips, Rose slipped her tongue in.

Oh god, Kanaya was not ready to pail, and especially not all over their dining table. But… oh, it did feel so nice, and Kanaya let Rose explore the inside of her mouth a bit, but prepared herself to pull away if Rose went all the way back. Thankfully, she didn't, and after a moment, she used her own tongue, mimicking Rose in not probing too far.

It felt like a long time before they separated. Rose was smiling wryly, eyes shining. And Kanaya found that she was grinning, too. "Alright," the troll said, and kissed Rose on the tip of her nose. "But not here."

Kanaya was a little hesitant to pail fully without proper implements, but she figured that the load gaper they had attached to a teleporter to serve as an ablution room would work as well as anything.

"The bathroom?" Rose exclaimed when they walked in, and started to laugh loudly and unabashedly, the way she only did when she was tipsy. "I was under the impression we were going to the bedroom!"

"Why would we go to the bedroom?" Kanaya asked, puzzled.

"In human culture, bathrooms are not considered particularly romantic, while bedrooms are." Rose grinned cheekily. "Is this different on Alternia?"

"Ablution rooms are functional for concupiscent purposes," murmured Kanaya, shaking her head at the thought of pailing in a bedroom. Why would a troll put their possessions at risk of damage and staining? "But if you wish to go elsewhere…"

Rose giggled. "Oh, no! This is quite interesting. I am fascinated, truly."

Kanaya took some towels (originally alchemized from Equius' but thoroughly cleaned) and lay them on the floor, kneeling on one of them. Rose watched her with interest.

"Now what?" the human asked, a hand lifted to cover her amused smile.

Kanaya, by now, was blushing furiously. "I am not entirely clear on every detail in regards to coupling. I have only ever… coupled… with myself."

Rose walked behind Kanaya, and put her hands on the troll's shoulders, rubbing them slowly. When she spoke, the husky tone was back, and Kanaya shivered.

"Then show me what you do."

Kanaya put one hand on Rose's, and with her other began lifting up her shirt, then let go of Rose to unhook her brassiere. She turned to face Rose and began rubbing her own breasts, squeezing the nipples between her fingers. Except… when Rose peeked closer, she could see the nipples were different from human ones. They were darkened swellings, but didn't seem to have anything that could be identified as a teat.

Kanaya's eyes were half-lidded, and she was looking at Rose, smiling gently. Kanaya was rubbing her entire chest, fingers prodding the nipples and then moving out to the outside of the breast, and occasionally stroking her throat. She sighed, and leaned her neck back, closing her eyes and laying one hand on her neck as she attended her breasts with the other.

Rose's stomach fluttered, and she asked, "May I touch you, Kanaya?"

Kanaya opened her eyes, and nodded, her lips curving upward. Rose lay one hand on Kanaya's breast, then began massaging it, the same way Kanaya had. But she felt that the position was impersonal, as though she was poking a scientific specimen, so she turned to sit next to Kanaya, and put one arm around her shoulder to fondle her.

"This alright?" the human asked.

"Oh, goodness, yesss," replied Kanaya, drawing out the sibilant 's.' The troll's skin was glistening with greenish perspiration, and Rose was getting it on her hands and clothes. Still, she knew the godhood was self-cleaning, so didn't mind too much.

On impulse, Rose leaned in and kissed Kanaya's cheek, and found it tasted salty, just like human sweat would. When Kanaya let out a little "mm!" of appreciation, Rose began planting light kisses all over Kanaya's face and neck.

Kanaya reached one hand back and stroked Rose's cheek, and looked up to meet the human's gaze, eyes dark with lust. Rose leaned in to kiss her matesprit, who kissed back eagerly, nibbling Rose's lip and stroking Rose's tongue with her own.

Rose moaned into the kiss, as turned on by seeing Kanaya so turned on as anything else, and Kanaya made a noise like a choke.

Rose pulled back, alarmed by the noise. Kanaya's muscles were tense, her mouth open, panting, her hands shaking. She mouthed the word 'please,' and Rose, thinking she understood, reached down to pull down Kanaya's skirt. But Kanaya shook her head vehemently, and then, to Rose's shock, leaned over the toilet, reached her hand far back into her mouth, down her throat, and vomited what seemed like a tremendous amount of pale green swill into the bowl.

Rose stared, shocked, but held back Kanaya's hair as she heaved, then supported her as she sat on the floor heavily, gasping for air.

"Kanaya?" Rose asked, concerned. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, Rose," Kanaya murmured, and leaned into Rose's shoulder. "More than all right. That was wonderful." She opened her eyes and looked up at Rose. "I only regret that you, who initiated this encounter, did not get to finish as well."

"Finish?" replied Rose. "You mean… oh. Ah. I see." She paused for a moment, filing away that knowledge for future examination. Then, she smiled. "Well, we can fix that."

"Indeed we can." Kanaya ran a thumb along the side of Rose's throat. "If I may be so bold."

Rose grinned a little wryly. "We humans are a little different, though."

"Oh? I had assumed as much, when you attempted to take off my skirt. What was that for?"

Rose bit her lip, then hitched up her robes. "Let me show you…"