The power of temporary amnesia

Disclaimer:- Don't own them just borrowing!

Episode:- Music to Die for

Pairing:- Jean/Mr Innocent

Rating:- M

Achieve:- . /group/lewisffarchive/

Summary:- The way just being home with him can induce temporary amnesia about the world outside is what keeps me sane and he'll never understand how important this is or how much I love him for it.

Author's Note:- I have written loads where Jean's marriage is either completely miserable or has broken down completely just once I thought I'd step away from that and actually write something in which she was still in a happy and fulfilling relationship. It won't last I can't see me ever doing it again but once I can live with! The usual smut warning apply so take note, otherwise enjoy :)

"Rough day?" I used to think he was perceptive, he could somehow tell just from the change in the air when I came home that I wasn't happy with the day. Now of course I know that's not it. All he has to do it take one look at me to know but it doesn't make me any less grateful for the way he's now massaging my shoulders or how he's placing small gentle kisses on the top of my head that demand nothing but promise much. "I missed you Jeanie."

"It's only been a couple of days we've been married 25 years shouldn't we be past the stage were we can't get through a couple of days without seeing each other?" I've turned in his arms and the "yeah probably but it's just because I love you" shrug is all it takes to make me smile.

"I miss being with you, eating together, talking about our day. I miss knowing I can make love to you because even after 25 years you make my heart race and my blood boil. Is that so bad? I know it's not the done thing these days to lust after your wife but….."

"I don't care about the done thing and I missed you too. You know after you called last night and said what you did I had to….." The words have caught in my throat, not because I can't tell him that listening to him tell me how much he missed me, how empty his hotel bed was without me, how he'd woken up the night before in a tangle of sticky sheets just because he was dreaming of making love to me turned me on so much I had to take matters into my own hands. It wouldn't be the first time and I know it won't be the last. No I don't want to say it because I know what will happen, the image of me doing that to myself will flick a switch and make him want to remind me that nothing I can do for myself comes close to what he can do for me. We'll make up for those couple of days of separation by making hot, fast, hungry love right here and right now and that's not what I want. I want, I need him to make love to me slowly, to gently wash away the day by making me focus on nothing but how he makes me feel.

"Why don't you go take a hot bath? I'll bring you a glass of wine then maybe we can try to relive that dream I had the other night," See he always knows, he knows what I needed to do last night and he knows what I need now and is more than happy to provide it.

"Slowly?" I know I've just said that he knows what I need and I meant it as illustrated by the fact that he's kissing me now with a lazy, insatiable but tender desire. Forgive me though for wanting to hear him promise, hear him tell me he wants it too.

"Oh Jeanie I plan on spending the rest of the night re-familiarising myself with every inch of you. I'll be so slow in my appreciation of you that you'll be telling me…no make that begging me to speed up." To prove his point he's kissing me again with the same languid intoxicating tenderness that can only come with familiarity. Do I mention my day has finally started to look up?

"You know you're even more beautiful now than when I married you?" He's handed me a glass of wine and is scanning my body beneath the bath water.

"You're biased. This body is 25 years older, has carried a baby and been through the ringer in general more times than I care to count nothing is in quite the same place as it was back then." I love how he shakes his head, how he genuinely means it when he tells me that the passage of time is irrelevant.

"You've never really got it have you? Every difference in you now is a memory." He's knelt beside the bath and is running his fingers over my stomach as my eyes slip shut. "You hate that they seemed to put your C-Section scar from having Chris in exactly the place where it's likely to be noticeable but I love it because it reminds me of how amazing you looked when you were pregnant. I used to watch you when we were out and think god she's amazing and she's having my baby. I felt like I was the luckiest man alive. I still do.

"I'm pretty lucky myself." I want to say more but he's not given me a chance now his hands have moved up my body and are gently kneading my breasts the way he lets his thumbs trace my nipples setting me on fire.

"You know that dream I was talking about? It started just like this. My hands slipping over your breasts while I watched you react to me. I love the way you react when I touch you. I love that I'm the only person who gets to see you like this." Oh god how can he still do this to me. After so many years how can he still make me melt. "You know if all those men you spend your days with could see the side of you that I see they'd be beating down your office door to steal you away from me."

"They couldn't. Why would I want anyone else?" I'm just about still able to form a sentence and all I want is to hear the rest of his dream. His hands have left me now and my body aches for their loss but not for long. He's stripped and is getting onto the bath water with me so I've ended up with my back resting against his chest. I can feel his arousal already pressing against the small of my back and it only heightens my own desire. "Tell me the rest. Tell me what you dreamt about doing to me. I love that it's still me you dream of making love to."

"Damn right it is. God Jeanie why would I dream about anyone else take a look at yourself you're spectacular and you're all mine."

"You said it yourself it's not fashionable to fantasise about your wife. Shouldn't you be dreaming of sleeping with some twenty something movie star with long legs, a perfect body and not a line on her face?"

"They'd never be able to compare with you. They'd never be able to turn me on the way just dreaming of making love to you can. Your body is perfect to me, the fact that I can feel the silkiness of your skin, smell your perfume, hear the sounds you make when I touch you and see your face when you cum even when we're not in the same room. That's why I still dream about making love to my wife Jeanie, because everything about you still drives me crazy and I'm still just as proud I always was to know that you're mine."

My body is on fire as he lets his hands roam over me while he talks the gentle lapping of the bath water only heightening every sensation.

"I dreamt about touching you, kissing you, I dreamt about you on top of me riding me hard and fast. I saw the way your head falls back so your hair sways gently with each movement. I felt the way your breasts fit perfectly into my hands the way you scream in pleasure when I touch you desperate to make you cum before I do. God Jean I want you so much right now because fantastic as dreaming about you was nothing compares to the real thing."

I've turned in the water so I'm straddling him not caring about the fact it's sloshing over the sides of the bath as I sink onto him. "I love how it feel when you're inside me, last night when…."

"When you what Jeanie? Tell me, tell me what just hearing how much I wanted you made you do. You know how it turns me on to watch you do that and the thought that I missed it last night is torture." I'm moving slowly deliberately dragging out the sensations as his eyes meet mine the plea in them making me desperate to please him.

"I was so wet, so ready for you when we hung up and you weren't here. I had to do something or I'd not have been able to make it through today waiting to see you again." He's pinching my nipples between his fingers sending shockwaves of desire straight to my core. He's always been able to know exactly where my own personal line between pain and pleasure is drawn and exploit it.

"Don't stop honey I want to hear it all. I want to know exactly where you touched, what you were thinking and how it felt when you came."

"I closed my eyes and thought about last week when you decided you wanted to wear me out without ever actually making love to me. I used the same thing, I needed you inside me but it had to do. When I was moving it inside me and touching myself I was imagining you were there watching me do it. I could hear you telling me how amazing I looked, how hot it was that you could see how turned on I was. I heard you tell me not to stop, to keep going until I came and you could watch my body give up and hear me call your name when I did."

"Jesus Jean you feel so good right now…" I know he needs me to stop with the slow torturous pace I've set and I have every intention of doing just that. The water around us sloshes between our bodies as I grip his shoulders for support taking every bit of him deep inside me with each thrust.

"I love you." The words just about make it out of my mouth before I'm captured in the earth shattering, room spinning explosion of pent up pleasure that has been building since I walked through the door.

"I love you too…oh god….oh yes Jean don't stop I'm…..oh…..my…god…." He's clinging to me now his eyes locked with mine as he jerks violently as he follows me over the edge.

"So did you make your boys life a misery today then? Was that why you were in such a mood when you got home? I know you hate having to pull rank on them." I'm standing at the kitchen counter chopping peppers for the dinner I am now very much looking forward to. For some reason I'm suddenly famished, nothing like a little early evening ecstasy to build up an appetite.

"No actually I didn't. I was worried about Robbie sometimes he lets his desire to be gentlemanly overtake his common sense and puts himself in bad situations. This week he's been doing just that and it came back to bite him in the ass. I think he's ok now, embarrassed, but ok the only thing I hate more than pulling rank is knowing that I could do it till the cows come home and it still doesn't stop them making mistakes."

"You can't save them from themselves Jeanie no matter how much you want to protect them at times." I know he's right. Actually I know it all too well but it doesn't make it any easier.

"I worry too that neither of them has anyone to go home to. They don't have someone to help them remember that there's a life outside the murder and mayhem we see every day."

"I'm sure they worry about you too at times. I know they think I'm some sort of inconsiderate oaf when I can't be there at all the social crap that seems to be part of your life as a copper these days. They look at me at times with pure venom in their eyes. I don't know what it is that they think I do to you but whatever it is it's not pleasant." I can't help but laugh as I abandon the food for a second and let him wrap me in his arms. "They would probably never imagine that we still…."

"Wow! Stop right there I'm quite happy with them not imagining that thanks. I'm sure there are times when they leave my office muttering about how a good seeing too now and then might be the one thing I'm lost for. If someone was screwing me senseless once in a while I might not be so uptight and I'd like it to stay that way. If they knew what you can do to me with a single touch my authority would be shot to hell." He's laughing now too and the station, the day and all my concerns about who, if anyone, is helping Lewis and Hathaway forget in the same way are gone. No matter how bad things get, no matter how much I want to run away and hide at times I always have him and right now I've never been more grateful for anything in my life. The way just being home with him can induce temporary amnesia about the world outside is what keeps me sane and he'll never understand how important this is or how much I love him for it.