Title : Letter to An Agony Aunt

Fandom : The Losers

Characters : Jensen & Jolene (references to all characters and Jensen/Cougar)

Rating : PG-13

Written for the prompt : any, any, writing in to an advice column

Author's Note : Although written for a fic_promptly prompt, it was also written for fanficfan83's birthday – belatedly! Happy Belated Birthday, hun. Xx

Disclaimer : All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

Letter to an Agony Aunt

Jensen's had enough. No, that's not right . . . he's had Enough! Definitely better like that, it's far more appropriate. He's fed up of the team and his sister and . . . life.

He pulls his laptop to him, opens the lid and starts up his email.

Dear Aunt Agony,

I have a problem and I need some advice. In fact, you know what, that's not true. It's not true at all. It's not me with the problem, it's the people around me. So firstly, let's go with my sister being as she has been on the scene longest. My sister's problem is that she thinks I talk too much, that I'm verbose and wordy and never shut up. She also complains that I don't talk enough and that that is why it took my boyfriend and I so long to get together. I mean, what's with that? How can I talk too much and not enough? That's not humanly possible as far as I can tell. Girl needs therapy if you ask me.

Secondly . . . can't decide . . . think I'll go with my boss next. Authority figure and all that. So we travel a lot in our job and it can be difficult to find and hang on to a good partner. He's always nagging at me like an old woman, telling me not to be so irresponsible and I have to sit here and watch him be completely and utterly irresponsible. Seriously, his taste in women! There is only one way to describe his relationships – SUICIDAL – one went as far as to put a bomb in his car and another one shot him. And he says I have problems.

Next on the list . . . toss a coin or . . . No, I'll go with R. next. R. is the . . . hmm, how to describe him . . . Boss's P.A. – I'm worried about him . . . He has an obsession with office supplies, specifically the sharp pointy dangerous kind and likes to sharpen his pencils way more than can be good for a man. He doesn't smile, is continually finding fault in my work and has threatened to cut the boss's head off. This is not good for morale and when I talked to him about it, he growled at me. I made sure to keep my boyfriend between us for the rest of the day.

Then there's my boyfriend. I like my boyfriend a lot. Like this - much -. He's cute and he looks good in a hat. He's got seriously awesome observational skills which means I never get away with anything. He never says much though. I kind of have to fill the gaps in the conversation, and there are a lot of them, but he's speaks volumes with his grin and his eyebrow. How is that even possible anyway? He's worse than a Drill Sergeant with what he says with a quirk of his eyebrow. Not that I'd know what a Drill Sergeant was like of course, except for what I've seen in the movies. There's no personal experience with Drill Sergeants whatsoever. Honestly.

In case you think I have no normal workmates. There is one. He's happily married to an awesome woman and they'll be having babies soon and he tells me to shut up regularly. Normally it's not long after he asked me a question which is a bit of a peculiar thing to do if you ask me, but he's definitely more 'normal' than the rest of the team. Apart from me.

Please offer advice for how to deal with such weird people and tell me how to come into contact with some normal people.

Many thanks,

PetuniasFan.

He clicked on send and sat back to wait.

****** THE LOSERS ******

His reply came through two days later.

Dear Jake,

Yes, Pooch is the most normal of your workmates, followed closely by Cougs. What did you expect in your line of work, particularly when you got assigned to The Losers? There is nothing whatsoever wrong with your sister and she is speaking sense as you well know. You never shut up and spout random facts at a ridiculous rate of knots so don't pretend you don't. However, when it comes to talking about the serious stuff that matters, you clam up just as bad as Cougs.

Yes, Clay does have a problem with the opposite sex. He is still your boss and does know what he's doing on the job. Therefore, it's something you've got to learn to live with. Believe me, if he hasn't learned his lesson by his age, he's probably not going to, unless he actually gets a limb amputated by one of those women. Just don't follow his example is the only advice I would give there.

As for Roque – Office Supplies! Sharpening pencils! You couldn't have come up with something better than that? There is nothing that can be said with regard to Roque. You've just got to learn to live with him.

Cougar . . . Cougar is perfect for you. Be glad he doesn't talk so much or he'd feel aggrieved at never being able to get a word in edgewise. Take care of him and the Hat. They're made for each other as are the two of you.

Look after yourself too, and despite what everyone says, no one really wants you to change, Jake. Stay safe and come visit soon.

Love to you and Cougs,

Jolene.

P.S. Pooch says 'hi' and 'why can't you write a normal email like everyone else?'