Dawn I - Him
The sound of their shoes against the pavement had stopped as they reached the door of Xander's apartment. Now there was only the underlying silence between the four of them. The blue eyed girl sighed. The situation disturbed her, but then again she was the one to insist to come. Soul or no soul, Dawn was not about to leave this stupid vampire with her big sister. She did not know why Buffy wanted to help him after all that he had done... what he had tried to do. She forced herself to focus her eyes at Spike, beside the ache in her heart to look at him. Xander had started talking, breaking the awfull silence of the walk, but she was lost to her thoughts to pay atention. The vampire stood there looking at his own feet, looking just the same, looking like her lost friend... Dawn felt so angry at him, but she listened as her sister said: -"The school basement is making him crazy. We can't just leave him there." She rolls her eyes at that, maybe they should have left him in the basement and in chains, so that he could not hurt anybody anymore.
She listens Xander state the obvious: -"Why not? Crazy-Basement-Guy is better than Stalking-Buffy-Guy." He is right to say it, so Dawn is determined to back him up: -"It's true. You guys aren't... You're not starting up again with the whole..." She gets anxious about this thought, but is reasured by her sister: -"No. A thousand gallons of no. OK, it's just—things are different now—he has a soul." Dawn puffs and rolls her eyes, as their friend Xander once again states the obvious: -"I'm sure that'll be a real comfort when he soulfully attacks you again." She can not help, but to add: -"Yeah, what does that mean exactly—that Spike is all soul-having?" Dawn glances at Spike again, he is still looking at his own feet. The girl knows they should not be talking as if he is not in the room... she hates when people do that to her, but in her book he deserved it. The girl frowns as her sister jump after Spike touches her arm. She really wants to leave as Spike mumbles: -"Buffy— Sorry."
Dawn looks at her own feet as her heart constricts, she would never get an apology from him. He did not even say a word to her, not since she had asked him if vampires sleep. Well, maybe she had been harsh to say he was going to burn him, but he had deserved it. Fuck him, she did not want na apology, Dawn tries to refocus on the conversation her sister and the evil thing she used to call friend are having. Spike is cussing: -"No, bollocks to the whole thing. I don't need your mollycoddling." The girl shakes her head as Buffy responds: -"It's not coddling. Now go to your closet." Dawn sighs and thinks what is it then... She wishes someboby would explain, but her sister turns to leave and she knows it is not a good time. So she glares at Spike and folows her sister out of the apartment. She will just have to ask her sister about it tomorrow.
She toss and turns in bed thinking about what goes on between Spike and her sister. It is not a great night of sleep, Dawn thinks as she drags herself of the bed still thinking about them. The clock points it is still 6 a.m. She sighs and heads to check if Buffy is already awake. Dawn slightly opens the bedroom's door and peaks in. Her sister is still sleeping curled up to Spike's leather jacket. Dawn pushes her lips shut and closes the door. She had noticed her big sister had kept the vampires leather jacket a month ago. She had found it on their couch and had suggested they set it on fire, but Buffy had took it harshly from her, said no and locked herself up in her bedroom. They had never talked about the episode since. Dawn knew her sister clung to the jacket for some reason, but she did not know that Buffy slept with it before. The blue eyed girl growled she did not know at all what was their relation like, they both had pulled away from her last year. But this would not happen again her. Spike was lost, dead to her, but she was going to talk to her sister, one way or another.
Dawn spent all breakfast thinking about asking what was the deal. She spent all the ride to the High School thinking the same, and all the first period up until lunch break. They were watching the boys football pratice when she finally had the guts to ask: -"
So, what is it?" Her big sister frowned and answered: -"What's what?" Dawn tries to stay call and be understanding as she says: -"Last night, you said you weren't helping Spike out of pity. So, what is it?" Yet Buffy still diminishes her question by saying: -"It's a good question." Dawn watches her drinking her soda and looking not interested. It makes her mad, but she sighs and insists: -"Is sitting there drinking soda some kind of a Zen non-answer?" Buffy takes of her glasses and it seems to her that she will finally get na answer. She listens as her big sister says: -"No, I just... I don't know what I'm feeling. I think I can't stand him, but sometimes..." Dawn smiles and asks what to her is obvious: -"You love him?" The answer she gets is dissapointing: -"No. I—I feel for him."
Dawn snorts, it is obvious that she loves him why else would her sister forgive the stupid traitor vampire and try to help him. She is clearly in denial Dawn thinks, but she just asks: -"Feel what, exactly?" Struck a nerve there she thinks as Buffy does not answer, but just says her name: -"Dawn..." Oh god, there it goes, her sister is closing off again, Dawn rushes to get a say in it: -"No, I'm—I'm just trying to understand. I mean, none of it makes sense. First you say Spike disgusts you, but secretly you two are doing it like bunnies. And then Spike says he'd die for you, but he tries to rape you." Buffy sighs and responds: -"For the record, Spike knew how wrong it was. That's why he went away." Dawn shakes her head negatively and says: "But to get a soul? Like that would make him a better man? Xander had a soul when he stood Anya up at the altar. And now he says he still wants her? I just don't think it's the school basement that's making people crazy." Dawn knows she had pushed to far when she sees her sister gathering her things to go and munbling: -"I should really get back." There now the window was closed, fuck it then. All of their problems go out of her head as she sees the love of her life, R.J. How the hell she had not noticed this boy before? She sighs in love.