Starts With Goodbye, an instant star fanfic

A.N. I was inspired by Carrie Underwood's Starts With Goodbye to write a said Tommy and Jude story. So here it is! Please review! P.S. I don't own Instant Star or the song.

I was sitting on my doorstep. I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand. But I knew I had to do it, and he wouldn't understand. It's so hard to see myself without him. I felt a piece of my heart break. But when you're standing at a crossroad, there's a choice you gotta make.

Jude Harrison sighed, hugging the phone to her chest. It was better this way. She felt a lone tear fall down her cheek, but she brushed away hurriedly. She couldn't cry. She had been the one to end things.

Jude sighed, her mind wandering to Tommy, as it always did whenever Jude couldn't force herself to think of something… anything, to keep her mind off of him.

They could have been happy. She knew that. They could have had the 2.5 children, the dog, and the white picket fence house. He promised her the world. Jude shook her head, trying to erase the thoughts of Tommy out of her mind. They were over. She had made sure of that.

I guess it's gonna have to hurt. I guess I'm gonna have to cry. And let go of some things I've loved, to get to the other side. I guess it's gonna break me down, like falling when you try to fly. It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life…

Jude hung the phone back up on the receiver. A picture on her desk caught her eye. She picked it up, looking at it gingerly.

It was a picture of her and Tommy, looking so happy and in love. It almost made Jude cry.

That day had been a beautiful fall day, the wind cool and crisp, but pleasant at the same time. The two had decided to go to a local park. There were colorful leaves everywhere. Being the spontaneous couple that they were, they had gotten into a leave fight, throwing leaves at each other and laughing. Jamie had been walking his dog, and he just happened to be carrying his camera around.

Jude set the picture back down, taking a seat on her couch, her mind mulling over everything that had happened in the last 24 hours. The phone call that had sparked this emptiness in Jude.

I know there's a blue horizon. Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me. Getting there means leaving things behind. Sometimes life's so bittersweet.

Jude had first noticed the sore a few weeks back, but she didn't think anything of it. She had been wrong.

It was breast cancer, and she didn't have much longer to live, with or without the treatment. Jude was scared. She could die any day.

She had broken up with Tommy. She didn't want him to feel obligated to be with her, when she was just going to die. It was better if he hated her. The healing process would be that much easier on him. She never meant to hurt him.

She missed him every second, but Jude refused to crawl back to him. She needed to do this, even if it meant dying with a broken heart.

She wanted the 2.5 kids and the dog, and the house, but she wouldn't live long enough. Tommy would, and he deserved that with someone who would live out the rest of their lives with him, growing old and dying together in their bed, surrounded by their fat grandchildren.

It hurt knowing that he would have that without her. But she needed to do this. For him.

It's sad sometimes, but moving on with the rest of your life… starts with goodbye.