Carver hated running away. It was so cowardly. And though he would admit that his family had little other options, it still irked Carver.
The rest of the family didn't seem to mind as much. His mother and father had been doing this a lot longer than he had, and they had chosen this life. Carver's father had been an apostate for as long as Carver could remember, and to his knowledge, his mother had agreed to this life knowing what the costs would be. His brother and his sister really had no other option, besides going to the Circle, which probably wouldn't be the best thing either. They were apostates, and would be treated as such. However, Bethany had confessed to him some time ago that she sometimes wished she were in the Circle, where she wouldn't have to run and hide anymore. She felt guilty too, for making her family do the same, even though she wasn't the only one to blame. His brother, however, would never surrender himself to the Circle. He was far too proud, too independent to do well there. The idiot would get himself killed the first day.
Which brought them back to their current situation. They had been in Redcliffe for a while now, longer then they usually stayed in one place. Carver had almost begun to think of the cosy little village as home, until Hawke had come to his room one day, and announced that Mother and Father had decided it was time to move on. Bethany had sighed and left the room, going to get her things together, while Carver had glared at his brother.
"Why do we have to leave now?" Carver had demanded, "No one suspects anything!" Hawke had merely shrugged.
"I don't know. We've been here longer than usual," Hawke said.
"And it was starting to feel like home," Carver muttered.
"Don't look so down! I'm sure we'll find a place even better then Redcliffe, and you'll wonder why you even missed this one!" Hawke said, an annoyingly bright smile on his face.
"Redcliffe isn't the point!" Carver snapped, his patience thinning. He was so sick of running!
"What's your problem?" Hawke demanded, the smile replaced with a frown, "We've done this hundreds of times. I would think you'd understand the process by now…"
"I shouldn't have to understand the process! I shouldn't have to run all over Ferelden either, but that's exactly what I'm doing!"
"And this is all my fault, I assume? Like every other problem in your life?" Hawke asked, rolling his eyes. It was a good point though. This wasn't his brother's fault, not completely. But he was the easiest to blame.
"If you and everyone else in this family was normal, then we'd be able to have an actual life! Not a half-assed one on the road all the time, with nothing but the clothes on our backs! It's you and your stupid magic's fault!" he shouted. There was a gasp at the door. Both he and his brother turned to see Bethany there, with her hand over her mouth, tears in her eyes. She looked at Carver with such a hurt look that he could barely stand to look her in the eye. Then she turned away and fled. Carver made a step to go after her, but Hawke was quicker, pushing past him and heading to the door. Before he left to follow Bethany, he turned slightly, with a disappointed look in his eyes.
"Just get packed up Carver," Hawke sighed, "And try to do it with your mouth shut." Then he turned, and walked away, leaving Carver alone with his guilt.
When Carver told his family he was leaving to Ostagar, he received mixed feelings.
Both Bethany and Mother were, unsurprisingly, upset. Carver knew they were both proud, his mother had even told him so, but he knew that they were terrified they would lose another family member. Carver suspected that neither of them had gotten over his father's death, and who could blame them? His father had seemed so strong, so invincible. None of them had seen his death coming, and none of them had been able to do anything about it. Bethany's healing magic had been useless. Even his brother, who preferred magic more suited to battle, had made an attempt to heal, but his magic had done just as much good as Bethany's. In the end, their father had gone to the Maker. His mother would be terrified that she would lose a son, while Bethany would be scared to lose her brother, her twin. With the combined forces of their pleading, he had almost given in. But in the end, his mind had been made up. This was something he wanted to do, something he needed to do. Something not even his brother would be able to take away from him.
His brother hadn't had much to say on the matter. He just gave him that look that clearly said the thought Carver an idiot.
"Why do you want to go?" Hawke had questioned, in a perplexed tone.
"I want to help fight in the King's army," Carver had shot back, "Is that really so hard to understand?"
"You've never shown any interest in joining the army before," Hawke pointed out.
Well that was true. But Carver refused to back down, especially to him.
"I'm fighting to defend Ferelden! Just because you have to stay hidden from the scary Templars, it doesn't mean I have to!" Carver had snapped. Hawke's eyes narrowed. They glared at each other for silently, before Hawke sighed.
"Well it's not like I'm going to stop you. Good luck I guess, and try not to get killed. Mother's been through enough already, she doesn't need to handle losing you too." And then Hawke had walked away, shaking his head as he left.
Carver had been furious that his brother had managed to make him feel guilty. Guilty! He was doing something good! Fighting the darkspawn, protecting his country! Leave it to his brother to make him feel bad over that. But deep down, he knew his brother was just concerned for him, and their family. That was all Hawke was ever concerned about. Pushing his mother and sister's worry aside, and forgetting about his brother's disappointment, Carver turned away from Lothering, and stared on the long walk to Ostagar.
"Thinking of life in Hightown?" Hawke's voice came from behind Carver. Carver turned around slowly to face his brother, who had quite a pleased look on his face. He'd had that expression on ever since they had found out the truth about what happened to their estate. The only one who was truly surprised to find out the estate was Mother, but she was always seeing the best in people. His brother had found the whole thing quite amusing. Carver was pretty sure that Hawke didn't mind Lowtown as much as he seemed to, but that was probably because of the little group of companions he'd rounded up since they'd got here, and the fact that most of them lived in Lowtown anyways.
"We're still a long way from cowing templars with our titles, Brother," Carver replied, a frown marring his face. How Hawke could be so optimistic was beyond him. But he supposed his brother had always been that way, putting a smile on his face.
"You could slap on a smile for a few days. For her sake," Hawke replied. They both knew who he was talking about.
"She's not interested in what I think," Carver snapped, "She wants to provide for us, and you're making sure it happens. And when we're done, I don't know, I guess we'll sit around thinking how great we used to be." He really shouldn't be blaming his brother right now. After all, he'd done nothing wrong. Exactly the opposite in fact. Already they were halfway there to going on the Deep Roads exposition. They had collected the maps (and that mage Anders help, much to Carver's annoyance) and had 20 sovereigns saved up already. Hawke also had collected an…interesting group of people that he was always running around Kirkwall with. Still, as usual, he had no one else to blame, and all his pent up rage was making its way to the surface and being directed straight at his brother.
"Mother didn't even want this life back until we got dumped here," Carver continued, "And you only care because we're under templar scrutiny." It was a low blow, he'd admit, but there was no taking it back now.
"This 'second-child' act is getting a little old Carver," Hawke stated, frowning. Carver's anger flared.
"Try it from this end!" he shouted, "Always running after you, or taking care of mother while you 'mark your territory'!"
"That's not true!" Hawke protested.
"Yes it is, and you know it! Even in Ferelden I couldn't be anything! The lone blade in a house of mages. I couldn't even excel at that, because it brought to much attention to the family!" Carver scoffed, "That was a waste though, right? I could have found my fortune if I'd known Bethany was going to die on your watch anyways." Carver regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. Hawke's eyes were wide with shock. Then they filled with anger.
"How dare you use her against me like that," Hawke snarled, his voice more angry than Carver had ever heard it before, "She deserves better."
"Then you should have given better!"
"I gave everything!" Hawke snapped, "Question me, mother, yourself, but not that!" Carver's eyes fell. He could hear the pain in his brother's voice. It hadn't been fair to use Bethany against him, not when their pain was still raw.
"Well good talk," Hawke said sarcastically, then turned around and started walking away. Suddenly, Carver felt a desperate need to fix things, to take back what he had said. After all, Hawke was the only sibling he had left.
"Brother!" He called. Hawke stopped, but didn't turn around, so Carver continued, "I feel…I don't know. It's like Mother, taking everything out on us. She's just scared. I…I don't have a place in the life she is trying to bring back. I'm here if you need me, but I must find my own way."
And find his own way he would.
So Carver joined the templars.
It really was his brother's fault. If he hadn't left him at home, like a child, from the Deep Road expedition, he never would have joined the templars. Who knows what would have happened? While his brother had been gone, he had been contemplating his future, trying to decide what to do. His brother's friends may be content to follow him around, but he wasn't! And since Aveline made it impossible for him to be a guard, he would do even better. He would become a templar.
The irony wasn't lost on him. After all, his brother was an apostate, who was friends with two other apostates. If he was a good templar, he'd be leading a team to capture them right then and there. But the thought made his stomach uneasy. His brother didn't deserve that. And Carver doubted he'd be able to do it anyways. Though thinking about the look on his brother's face if he took his magic away…that would be priceless. Maybe he should try it sometime...
When Carver told Mother, she had been distraught. She acted as if he's committed a huge betrayal, which he supposed he sort of had. She begged him to change his mind, and when Hawke finally walked through the door, she begged him to stop Carver.
Hawke looked terrible. His face had a few cuts and bruises, and his eyes had slight bags under them. His hair was ruffled, and he looked as if he'd like nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep. When he saw Carver though, he straightened, his eyed immediately going to the armour. Carver waited.
"Carver, what are you wearing?" Hawke questioned.
"I've joined the Templar Order," Carver replied. Hawke's eyebrows rose and his mouth dropped in shock. He opened his mouth to say something, but Carver beat him to it, "There's no point in trying to talk me out of it. It's done." Hawke stared at him, looking more confused and curious than mad.
"You do realize you're related to an apostate right?" Hawke asked, "That fact hasn't been lost on you?"
"See Mother!" Carver said, ignoring his brother's stupid question, "I told you he'd only think of himself."
"It's a perfectly reasonable question," Hawke said, "You're not going to be a very good templar if you're letting apostates run around after all…"
"I want to be someone!" Carver finally snapped, "Like Father wanted. Like I want. This is my chance!"
"Carver please!" Leandra begged, "The Order is so dangerous!"
"Not to mention full of asses," Hawke muttered. Carver ignored him.
"I'll be fine Mother. You don't need to worry about me," he reassured her, then turned to his brother, who was still staring at him in disapproval, "And you don't need to worry about me turning you in. I know the value of family."
"And Merrill and Anders?" Hawke asked, "They'll be safe too?"
Carver wasn't as happy to grant that onebut he knew his brother cared for his friends, and if the templars captured either of them, his brother would be to the rescue.
"Yes, I won't turn them in either," he said grudgingly.
"Even Anders?"
"Even Anders." Carver sighed, "Look out for Mother." Then he turned, and started walking away.
"Brother!" he heard Hawke call. He stopped, and turned his head slightly to look back at his brother.
"What?" he asked. Hawke hesitated for a moment, before replying.
"Just…good luck," Hawke said, "Maker knows you'll need it," he muttered afterwards. Carver smiled slightly, nodded his head, than walked out the door.
When he got the letter that his mother was dead, Carver hadn't known what to think. He was filled with anger, sorrow and despair. He needed someone to blame, someone to be angry at. The choice was obvious.
So, he left that Gallows one day and marched right to Hightown, then to the estates, then to his brother's mansion. He pounded on the door. It was opened by the dwarf, Bodahn, Carver thought.
"Well hello sir, what can I-" Carver pushed his way inside.
"Brother! Get down here!" Carved yelled. He waited impatiently. Moments went by, and Carver had almost made up his mind to march upstairs when his brother appeared at the top of the stairwell, looking alarmed.
"Carver? What are you-"
"You let her die!" Carver accused. Hawke's mouth snapped shut, and he stared at Carver blankly. He made no move to speak, so Carver went on.
"How could you? I told you to take care of her! I told you to protect her! And you let her die! Just like…just like Bethany!" The words were rushing out of Carver's mouth, without him even knowing what he was saying, "Aren't you supposed to be the bloody hero? The one who can do anything? And you couldn't even manage to save her, could you?"
"I did everything I could!" Hawke snapped.
"If you did that, she'd still be here!" Carver shouted.
"Well what about you? He was a blood mage who'd been killing women for years! Are you templars to busy oppressing mages and making innocent people tranquil to deal with the real threats out there!" Hawke shouted back. The words were like a slap to Carver.
"Don't blame this on me!"
"Well don't blame it on me either! You're the one who's been blaming me for every stupid thing wrong in your life! You're the one who left! I'm not completely innocent, but you sure as hell aren't either!" Hawke yelled. There was silence as the two brothers stared at each other.
"Get out Carver," Hawke finally said, bringing his hand up and rubbing his forehead. Carver realised how exhausted his brother looked, "Go back to your templars and crazy Knight-Commander. Just…leave." And with that, Hawke turned away, and walked back upstairs. Carver was stunned. He didn't know what to say, what to do. So, feeling even worse than before, Carver walked out the door, and back to the Gallows.
The Chantry destroyed, the Grand Cleric dead. And they had just gotten word that the Champion had slain the First Enchanter, who had turned out to be a blood mage. Things were a complete mess.
Hawke had sided with the mages, of course. Carver had suspected as much. Each of his companions had stayed with him, even Fenris and Aveline, who Carver had thought would side with the templars. The two probably would have, if not for their loyalty to his brother.
His brother. The only family he had left. Who he was going to have to fight. As much as Carver said otherwise, he didn't want to fight his brother. As ridiculous as it was, part of him hoped Hawke would surrender, but it would never happen. Hawke had gone too far to stop now.
The plan had been to arrest the Champion. They had agreed that killing him would most likely create a martyr, and that would be counterproductive. So, when Hawke and his fellow companions entered the room, Carver stood back, uncomfortable. Then, Commander Meredith changed everything.
"You are not a mage, but in protecting them you share their fate!" She announced.
"Knight-Commander, I thought we only intended to arrest the Champion!" Knight-Captain Cullen protested.
"You will do as I command Cullen!" Meredith snarled.
As the Knight-Captain argued, Carver watched his brother, completely frozen. He didn't know what to do, what to say. He could only watch the exchange with wide eyes.
When Meredith brought that sword out, it explained everything. He remembered having a brief conversation with Varric once, about the expedition, and he had mentioned the idol. It must have been this that drove Meredith crazy. Or maybe she had always been this way, and he had only noticed now.
"All of you, I want him dead!" She screamed, pointing the sword at Hawke.
"No!" Carved shouted, feeling as surprised as his brother looked, "I won't kill my brother for you!"
"You dare," Meredith hissed. He was not alone though, for Cullen refused to stand with her as well. She would have no help from the other templars either, who were watching the exchange silently.
"I don't need any of you!" Meredith announced, pointing the sword at Hawke, "I will protect this city myself!"
"You'll have to go through me first!" Carver stated, stepping in front of his brother.
"And me," Cullen said, stepping up to stand beside him.
And so, one of the hardest battles of Carver's life began. Meredith was crazy. Statues came to life, the walls shook, floor rumbled. But not even she could beat all of them. In the end, Meredith knelt on the ground, a terrifying lyrium statue. Everyone turned to look at Hawke. Did they arrest him? Kill him? Cullen and Hawke's eyes met. After a few tense moments, Cullen nodded. Hawke repeated the gesture before turning away, but not before meeting Carver's gaze. His mouth lifted in a slight smile, then he started walking with the rest of his companions. Before he could walk out the door, Carver shouted, "Brother!" Hawke stopped.
"…good luck." Carver said softly. He heard a quiet chuckle.
"You too," Hawke said, and then, with the rest of his party, the Champion walked out of the Gallows. And for the first time in his life, Carver realized that he would miss him.
I do not own Dragon Age, and yes, some of the dialogue is from the game. Thanks for reading! Please review!