The words that he spoke kept slipping through her mind like an old record player that was stuck on a five second repeat.
"I think you're so jaded…"
Did he really mean it? Will wasn't one to say things and not mean them, yet there had been mitigating circumstances. Helen, of course, knew that what he said wasn't true but is that really how she came off? After four years together, working so closely, did he see her has that reckless?
She was fiddling with a pen while sitting at her desk. The risk of death—Helen had died on more than one occasion, being brought back to life, it was not something she went out to find. There was always a time afterwards when she felt as though she should have died, should have put an end to everything, that she didn't deserve to still be among the walking and breathing in the world. Each and every time, she felt this way. Did he not know that?
He was so observant, so careful and so meticulous in his work, had she really been able to evade him all this time and hide behind facades?
Will was still laid up in his room, they'd had words earlier that day and she was only reaffirmed that he did truly believe she was jaded. Even after confessing the weight of the world on her shoulders, reliving the past to him, he saw her just as he did before. Her eyes fell to the window and the dark night sky outside. She stared longingly out of it. What would her life had been had she not insisted her father reveal his true work? Would she have married? Had babies? Lived through the first infant's birth? Her mother had died just after her birth: it was not an uncommon occurrence. Slipping the pen from tip to tip through her forefinger and thumb, Helen bided her time. She waited for the feeling to pass, to become jumbled in the emotions she refused to deal with and set aside for the next time they would come flying in to face her down.
But it wasn't happening.
Air burst into her lungs and she felt the warm trickle slide down her cheek. She was crying. The great Helen Magnus had been reduced to tears by a squabbling boy who had no idea what he was speaking of. She brushed the tears off her cheek with a force she hadn't meant to use. The anger was beginning to bubble up and Helen was hard-pressed to even attempt control. She would love to feel the anger, the deep seated moment when she could release it. It had been their repertoire for the past year, anger and yelling, yelling and pissing each other off. What difference would it make if she let it go now?
"The little bastard."
Shoving all tears from her face, Helen stood up and made for the door to her study. She was going to have words with him. Her heels clacked on the floor quickly as she made down the hall and up two flights of stairs. Will was still confined to his room on his so-called seven percent solution, his way of making light of a serious situation, and it only added fuel to her fire. She didn't pause when she reached his door. The handle turned and she stepped inside, shutting and locking it.
Will was sat in his bed, lamp light on and book in his lap. His eyes were wide with curiosity and his chest started to rise steadily, faster and faster as his shoulders tensed inwardly. "Magnus?"
"Do you really think that?" Her voice resounded around the room, harsh words forced from her tongue, her accented pointed and strong. "Do you really think that I need the risk of death to even consider life?"
Will took a deep breath, "Magnus…"
"Don't patronize me, Will. I asked you a question." She stepped closer to him, her knees brushing his nightstand so she could be as closed to his face as possible without bending. "Answer the question."
"At times, yes. I do think that."
Helen stopped for a moment. It was as if everything in the room was brought to a sudden halt and they were trying to find their footing once more. They stared at each other, silence permeating each until the tension was snapped. Helen bent down and whispered into his ear, her words a huff of breath against his skin. "It's a lie." She dipped her head to his lips and crushed their mouths together. Will was thrust back into the pillows, her right hand running down his chest feeling the muscles and heat from his skin through the thin cotton.
When her hand moved his shirt so that she could feel skin, Will pushed against her shoulders. "Magnus..." He mumbled her name against her lips.
"What you said," she was breathing heavily, her mouth traveling across his jaw and down his neck while her fingers tugged at his shirt. "It's a lie, it's not true." She bit gently into the cord of muscle along his shoulder. Helen's mouth covered his once more and she felt her body tipping. Will pushed her to one side so that she was lying on the bed, her body half covered by his and her hair strewn about on a pillow.
Her leg curled up against his side and when her eyes opened she was smiling at him. "All right, Magnus, it's not true." She could feel his erection pressed against her thigh, but the serious note in his voice brought her back.
"There have been times, Will. This is not one of them. This is when I choose to live differently." Her hands fisted in his hair and she pulled him down to her. Slipping her stiletto off her foot and the bed, she ran her toes over the back of his leg. Helen ran her tongue across his, scratching her nails across his scalp. Will's thumb and forefinger fumbled with the buttons on her sweater until he could push the two pieces of cloth apart. She arched her back and moaned in encouragement.
Slowly their kisses and moving his hands off her body took far longer than he thought. His mind was starting to work and take over for his body that was beginning to be raging mad with him. Will sat back, leaning on an elbow and wiping a hand over his mouth. His eyes traveled over her body, her heaving chest and flushed cheeks. "Magnus."
Helen promptly followed, smiling and cupped his cheek waiting until their eyes locked. "Tonight, Will, it's Helen." Sitting herself, she curled her legs under her body and started to tug at her sweater. Pulling the sweater off, she went for the hem of her shirt. Will's fingers met hers there. He was shaking his head. "Give me a chance." Her lips quirked upwards and he stopped, frozen in place. Will went to speak, but Helen interrupted him. "Do you not see how much I care for you?" Her hands left her shirt and she moved to press fingers to his cheek.
"Helen, I don't—"
"If I lost you, Will… I don't know…" She took a deep breath and pulled her lip between her teeth. Drawing air into her lungs, she made sure that her eyes didn't leave his. "It would be quite an adjustment." Her thumb brushed along his lips and she kissed him softly. "I don't want to discuss it." Kissing him again, she felt him lean into her body. "All right?"
"Ok." He agreed.
"Good." Helen pulled off her black shirt and tossed it where her gray sweater landed on the floor below. Pulling off her other shoe, she grinned as she realized Will's eyes were completely locked on her breasts and the way she was moving. Helen lay back down, her smile beckoning him. Will shoved the blanket down toward his feet and planted a palm on the other side of Helen's body. "I'm not jaded."
"Far from it," he purred and pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek. "Far, far from it." He was kissing her again, his tongue sliding against hers tediously. Will shifted his body and trailed a finger over her hip bone and up along her ribs. His entire hand and palm dragging upwards until he could cup her lace covered breast. Helen was skimming her hands over Will's back and into his hair. His lips moved down her neck, his tongue swirling in circles.
The cotton of his shirt was being tugged upwards until he gave up and moved so she could pull it over his head. Helen was biting her lip, her eyes crinkled and she traced his skin. She was so entranced by the soft feeling of his chest that she missed what he was saying. Humming, her eyes flicked back up to his face.
"Can I take your skirt off?"
"Absolutely." She lifted her hips so that he could slip the material from her body. He already managed to pull down the side zipper in her haze. Will pushed the fabric all the way down to her knees and let her do the rest until the black skirt was buried in the blankets. She widened her legs so that he was nestled in between her knees and his lips were on hers.
Will pulled at the straps to her bra until they slid over her shoulders. He followed the path of the material with tender fingertips and soft lips, his hair brushing her chin. Helen grinned and gripped his sides. Her head tilted up and she closed her eyes, focusing only on the feel of his skin against hers, the weight of his body, the brush of rough lips over her flesh. Moving down to the tops of her breasts, he caressed the skin, leaving it red and wet from his tongue.
Helen dragged up back up so that she could kiss him hard; twisting her hips she flipped their bodies so that she was once again leaning over him. Grinning, she bent down, her hair falling over her shoulders as she kissed him. Will's hands cupped her mounds, squeezing and massaging the flesh before sliding them around her back to pull her in closer. She was pressed against him tightly, her mind thinking of excuses as to why she should be there.
He was in a relationship. He worked for her. He was way too young to be entering into a relationship of any type that involved her. She would ruin him. Helen drew in a deep breath, her eyes scanning his face for any signs of remorse. Not finding any, she staunchly shoved those thoughts back and kissed him hurriedly. Will slid the clasp of her bra open and tugged, letting the material fall onto his body before he pushed it away.
Thumbs were dragged across each of her nipples at the same time and a gasp escaped her lips. Helen pressed her forehead into Will's shoulder and took deep breaths as he repeated the move enjoying her reaction. She mumbled his name and he stopped, his hands holding her hip bones as she wiggled on top of him. Helen's tongue moved in a line over his chest to his nipple, before pulling the skin between her teeth. Will groaned.
She moved her hips back and forth against him, feeling him hard and pressing against her, the fabrics between them adding to the friction. Helen stopped and smirked down at him. "I've thought about this before."
"Have you?" Will's eyebrow rose curiously and he was taken aback when Helen burst into a giggle.
"Of course I have, Will." She kissed him loudly on the lips and slipped her fingers under the elastic waistband of his boxer shorts. Her wrists were angled awkwardly, but she was able to reach far enough under the material. Her fingers massaged up and down on either side of his erection. Will's body jerked forward before he was slowly able to relax back into the mattress.
"That's mean."
"Is it?" Her eyes were twinkling and he never wanted the smile on her lips to leave. She pulled at the boxers until she had to move back to remove them further. Scooting backwards on the bed, she undressed him completely. She curled a finger and glided it up and down him, giggling when his breathing increased and the flush in his cheeks moved to his chest.
Will gripped her wrists and moved her hands away from him. "Enough teasing." Will moved up for a quick kiss before pulling back. "You need to move."
"I… what?"
"Move." He tugged her to the side and pulled on her panties, successfully removing them from her body as well as pinning her under him. He snaked a hand between them and thrust one finger inside, his lips descending onto hers when she gasped.
Helen was breathing heavily, "Yes… move… right." Swallowing, she opened her eyes and smiled back. "Move?" Will wiggled his finger and swirled his thumb, his other hand holding his body slightly above hers. Helen was gripping his wrist and changing the angle of his finger carefully, while her other hand threaded through the hair at the nape of his neck. Her body was starting to shake, her breaths sharper and uncontrolled.
Ripping his hand away from her body, Helen let her form calm. She was breathing heavily and smiling up at him. Raising a hand to his cheek, she tenderly led him down to kiss her slowly. Taking the kiss into moments she wiggled her body against him until he had to lay fully down on her. She kept his hand against her and moved his fingers. Will felt her legs raise up, hips widen and he pushed into her, his body aching.
His three fingers flicked back and forth, starting a pattern as his body thrust forward again and again. Helen's body jerked and she was breathing heavily as he continued, her skin becoming riddled with perspiration as she was rocked back and forth. Tingles were being pulled from all over her body, pleasure coursing through her veins building up behind the dam and threatening release. Her knees shook, her eyes closed and her mouth opened as she breathed out in tiny gasps the orgasm pulling her into bliss.
Will ground into her a few more times, before straining his body over hers. Collapsing onto her, he waited minutes before turning onto his side and pulling her with him. As soon as he was settled, he felt her shoulders heaving. Helen's body was shaking and she took her time looking up at with. When she caught a glance of his concerned face, she broke out into a full bodied laugh lying on her back, naked.
Curling onto his side and flitting fingers over her torso, he spoke reticently, "I was wrong."
"What about?" She was still smiling, but the mood had changed.
"You're not jaded." He smirked. She would have responded, but she felt as if he had more to say. "I haven't found balance."
Helen closed her eyes and moved her hands from his body. "I'm so sorry, Will. I… I shouldn't have."
"I have to talk to her."
"Abby? Yes, I suppose you do." Pausing, she turned onto her own side, facing him, her eyes glancing over his face. "She is your balance, Will. I know it."
"She's not." It took time before he locked eyes with her. "She's not at all, never has been. I've always given you more than I should have. Even you know that." Helen remained silent. "But enough of that talk. I was wrong, you are not jaded to the point where you need the threat of death to keep your attention."
"Well, thank you, William." She kissed him lightly and was pulling back when Will dragged her closer, deepening the embrace.
"Are we done?" He whispered it against her lips, not opening her eyes, fearing her answer.
Helen brushed fingers through his hair. "Do you want to be?" He shook his head. "Then by all means, William, we are not done." She slid into a deep embrace, entwining their tongues together as he pulled her on top of him.
