'Amelia… If we don't… if I don't find my soul mate… It's now or never,' Castiel said, eyes glistening. His wife frowned and looked down at her hands.

'Can't we just-'

'I'm old, Amy. I'm old and if I die without knowing…' His sentence trailed off as he shook his head. 'Please let me find them.'

Amelia pursed her lips but reluctantly nodded. 'Okay.' She paused as her eyes filled with moisture. 'I'm sorry I wasn't yours, that I was never yours.'

'As am I,' he replied, leaning in to kiss her wrinkled cheek. He smiled slightly before walking out of the door with his bag. He moved on trembling legs to the town centre, chest tight with anticipation; today he'd find his soul mate with the wing tattoo. He reached the correct building and entered, making a beeline for the phone hanging above a large book. He scanned through the pages until he found the number. His fingers shook as he dialled.

'Hello?'

'Hi, is this Soulmate Registrations?' Cas asked, biting his lips.

The woman sighed and responded in a monotone voice. 'Yes, how can I help you?'

'I was wondering if you could look up someone for me.'

She exhaled loudly again. 'Sure, that's what I'm here for. What's the tattoo?'

'Two black wings. They cover the entire back,' he said, grinning in anticipation. He knew he'd find the person; everyone had to register once they'd gained their tattoo, it just happened that he'd just met and married Amelia before his had appeared.

'Bear with me,' the woman replied before the line appeared to go dead. He nervously pinched at the skin around his fingernails during the wait. His heart leapt as the phone reconnected. 'You still there?'

'Yes, yes, I'm here,' he responded breathily.

'Okay, I got a match.'

'Really?'

'Yah, one Dean Winchester, Lawrence, Kansas,' she announced. Castiel beamed at the mention of the name only to be stopped short as the woman continued speaking, '…deceased.'

Castiel's stomach dropped and his mouth gaped open.

'Hello?' the woman grumbled.

'Oh… Uh...' Cas gulped and blinked away the stinging in his eyes. 'Th-thank you for your… for your assistance.'

'Yep,' she said before hastily ending the call. Castiel didn't even register her rude manner, continuing to stare at the wall in front of him.

'Excuse me?' a small voice sounded from behind him. He turned around and looked at the little girl. 'Are you finished?'

'Oh! Yes, sorry,' Cas mumbled, replacing the phone on its hook and exiting the building. His grip on his bag tightened as he strode down the street, heading back to his house. He didn't go inside; he simply unlocked his car and got in, instantly starting it up.

'I'm too late,' he chanted under his breath. His eyes prickled but he refused to let himself cry. The radio was playing an unknown rock song on full volume as he sped down the roads, the summer sun beating down on the tarmac. Castiel's teeth were clamped together and his knuckles were white as he held the steering wheel.

The sun slowly sank during the journey but Castiel paid little to no attention to his surroundings, only occasionally looking at the road signs to give him a brief idea of where he was. Finally, he arrived in Lawrence, time running away from him. He circled the town until he found the cemetery. He parked haphazardly outside the stone entryway and breathed in deeply. After a quick glance at his watch – 7:08PM – he got out of the car, joints creaking slightly. He stared at the nearest tombstones for a moment before advancing. Too many of his friends had died recently and he was used to the feeling of loss within the cemetery gates, where he'd soon reside.

His weakened eyes raked over the headstones, desperately searching for The Name. Castiel's breath became ragged, bogged down with an intense feeling of despair.

'Where are you?' he whispered. Despite the softness of his voice, it carried and rang out in the deathly silence of the graveyard. He winced but continued walking. Eventually a plain gravestone caught his eye. He looked at it, focused on it and gasped; Dean Winchester. He'd died two years prior with nothing on his headstone but a name, a date and a tiny quote: 'So it goes'.

'Vonnegut,' Castiel choked out before making his way over to Dean's allocated plot of land. He stared down and the grave and finally allowed himself to shed a tear, a tear for what he'd lost before he'd gained, for what could've been. 'I feel like I know you,' Cas began. 'I feel like… I don't know. Why… God,' Castiel rubbed a hand over his aged face and placed the other on his hip.

He hadn't noticed there was someone behind him until they spoke up. 'How did you know him?'

Castiel whipped around and gulped, taking in the tall man. He looked slightly younger than himself and had longish grey hair that looked soft to the touch. His eyes screamed honesty and warmth, obvious wisdom and past hurt. Cas swallowed again and then cleared his throat, wiping his eyes.

'Uh, I… I didn't.'

The other man squinted at Castiel and frowned. 'Then why are you here?'

'I…' Cas deliberated on whether to tell the blunt stranger before giving in. 'I'm his soulmate,' he croaked, voice hoarse.

The man's eyes widened and he stumbled back slightly as if the words physically affected him. 'Shit.'

'What?'

'Dean's… Dean's soulmate?'

'Yes,' Castiel replied, dabbing at his eyes again with his fingertips.

'Where the hell were you?' The man sounded bitter for a moment before shaking his head. 'Sorry, I… I just wish you hadn't waited until he was six feet under to friggin' show up.'

'I was living with my wife in Pontiac. I met her before I got my tattoo and she got hers. We weren't meant to be… but she was pregnant.'

'Oh…' The man trailed off, stunned.

'I only found out about… Dean… today. I just… needed to know who they were before I died and… God, I'm just-'

'I know, I get it,' the man said, stepping forward a little. He pursed his lips before properly introducing himself. 'I'm Sam. Sam Winchester. Dean was my brother.'

'Well, I'm sorry for your loss,' Castiel murmured feebly, turning around to face the stone again. 'My name is Castiel Novak.'

'I could tell you about Dean,' Sam blurted. 'If you want to know about him, I could tell you.'

Cas looked at Sam again before nodding minutely. 'Yes please. I'd like that very much.'

They made their way to a diner close by and ordered black coffees. The plastic covered booths squeaked underneath them and the smell of greasy food filled their nostrils. Neither of the men spoke until the mugs of hot coffee were placed in front of them. Cas emptied two packets of sugar into his whilst Sam drank his without.

'How did he…' Cas began, gesturing with his hand as a replacement for finishing his sentence.

'Die?' Castiel nodded and Sam followed suit. 'Well, it's kind of a long story.'

'Please tell me.'

'Sure,' Sam responded, gulping down some of the hot drink before beginning. 'Dean was seventy when he died. He… he killed himself. He'd always planned it to be then,' Sam's voice became bitter again and he shook his head as he talked. 'In his twenties and early thirties he was a… bachelor, I guess. Had sex with anyone and everyone. Then he hit thirty four and there was the tattoo. He only told me about it, no one else. You don't just go 'round telling people you've just found out your soulmate's floating about somewhere in the world, do you? Anyway, that was a turning point for him. He figured he'd just run into them one day and then he'd spend the rest of his life with them. See, Dean was always scared of commitment so that revelation… I couldn't believe my brother was actually going to be serious about settling down.

'So after he got the tattoo, he was certain he'd find his soulmate. Certain. So he stopped sleeping around. Stopped being Dean really. Well, not entirely, he just stopped being the "sex, alcohol and gambling is 90% of my personality" Dean.'

Sam smirked and Castiel chuckled. Sam's gaze dropped to the coffee cup and he began to turn it around, fiddling with it to keep his hands busy.

'And, uh, when, well you didn't show up he just got… bad. Depressed. It got so damn bad and it hurt so much to see the guy that practically raised me just get so down… Sorry,' Sam coughed to cover the raw emotion in his voice. Castiel instantly felt guilty, putting two brothers through that kind of pain, even unknowingly. He felt the urge to comfort Sam but didn't get the opportunity as Sam powered on.

'So he said, and I quote, "if they don't fucking show up before I'm seventy, I'm ending it, Sam, I swear". This was when he was about fifty so he could still laugh it off, just expecting you'd show up long before that milestone rolled around but, uh…'

Cas hung his head and stared at the black liquid in his mug. 'I'm so sorry.'

'No!' Sam said fiercely. 'No, don't apologise, it wasn't your fault, you couldn't have known. No, I get it, you had a family.'

Castiel nodded slowly and took a sip of his now tepid coffee. 'Well if I had known-'

'-You'd have been there.'

A comfortable silence settled between the two men. They sipped their respective drinks and gazed at the other patrons of the diner. Sam was the one to break the quiet.

'I visit the cemetery every day.'

'Oh?'

'Yeah. Every day at seven.'

'Why seven?'

Sam focused his now emotionless eyes on Castiel. 'Because that's the exact time Dean shot himself.'

Castiel bit back a gasp and quickly swigged some coffee. 'God.'

Sam smirked without humour. 'Yeah. I made a promise to myself that I'd visit him. Every day. I've got nothing else to do so nothing gets in the way.'

'Don't you have a family?' Cas questioned cautiously. Sam shook his head almost violently.

'No. My wife, Jessica, died in a fire about twenty years back. She was my soulmate. Haven't found anyone else since, of course.'

'I'm so sorry,' Cas said again, thoughts clouding with apology and sadness for the Winchesters, for the Winchester in front of him and the pain he'd suffered, and for the dead one who'd been so alone.

'You don't need to be… you apologise too much.' Sam smiled fondly.

'You're not the first person to tell me that,' Cas chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. Sam observed the action.

'Dean used to do that. All the time.'

'Should I… not do that then?'

Sam snickered and leaned over the table to push Castiel's shoulder. 'Jesus, dude, you can do whatever the hell you want.'

Castiel laughed nervously before toying with a dog-eared corner of a diner menu. 'I don't think I caught what date he died.'

'He died on his birthday,' Sam said softly.

Cas' eyes squeezed shut and he pressed his lips together tightly. Sam continued.

'That's why I found him. I was supposed to go over to his around at eight. We were gonna have… we were gonna have drinks at his and I was gonna make him burgers even though we both knew his body couldn't handle fast food anymore. But, uh, when I got there…' Sam lifted his hands up a little before clasping them together and replacing them. 'Blood. And a note.'

'Fuck,' Cas cursed, chewing at his bottom lip.

'Tell me more about Dean.'

Sam smiled a little. 'This'll take a while…'

Cas felt like he completely knew his soulmate through Sam's words. Of course, he didn't, not really, he'd never learn the intricate thoughts of Dean. He'd stalled too long. Castiel found himself loving everything about the man. They were both different from one another but the painful thing was, he knew they'd have worked.

Dean had waited, hoping to run into Cas without checking the registers, without interfering, hoping desperately that he'd meet his soulmate, fall in love.

'Thank you so much, Sam,' Cas uttered as they stepped out of the diner and into the now chilly night air.

'I'm glad I could meet you, Cas.' Sam hesitated before adding, 'Dean would've loved you.'

'From what I've heard, the feeling would be mutual,' Castiel replied sadly. He placed a hand on Sam's bicep and bid the man goodbye before turning on his heel and walking back towards the cemetery and his car.

'Cas! Wait!' Sam called, going to catch up with the retreating figure. Cas stopped and faced Sam again.

'Yes, Sam?'

Sam's face contorted for a moment before he dug into one of his jacket's side pockets and retrieved a creased piece of paper.

'What's that?'

Sam held it out towards Cas and then responded, 'Dean's suicide note.'