Title: Adventures in Babysitting
Chapter 1: Two Guys and a Girl
Summary: Spike, Sam I have a very important assignment for you both. Really Ed? What's that?
Disclaimer: If you don't know read more of my stories...anything FP related belongs to the show (if not I'd have Ed Lane all to myself) :D
A/N: Okay so yes was watching an old 80's movie with a similar theme (lol 3 men & a baby) but decided to only capitalize on the one night of botched babysitting aspect and hope you all like this a little; its also my first attempt at something funny so go easy please (no peril or angst in this). Yes I do love my Eddie but alas this theme just lent itself to Spike and Sam. Hope you like it.
"Thanks guys I owe ya one. Sophie and I will be back in a few hours and you have my number. You have everything you need and Izzy doesn't fuss much. You said you could handle this right?" Ed anxiously asks the two younger men before him.
"Yeah we got it," Sam assures their team lead with a smile after he gets a firm nod from Spike on his right.
"Go and enjoy your date night," Spike adds with a warm grin.
"This is hers…" Ed hands the well-stocked back to Spike and then pulls back with a small frown. "So uh…"
"We'll be fine Ed," Sam tries once more.
"Yeah. I mean we handle rough stuff for a living right?"
"He doesn't want to hear that," Sam whispers after noticeably poking Spike in the ribs.
"Rough stuff. Okay I gotta run…look just call if you need…anything."
Sam and Spike watch Ed leave Sam's apartment and then close the door. "Why did you say rough stuff?" Sam groans as he and Sam walk up to Izzy who was peacefully sleeping in her travelling chair.
"Well we do," Spike shrugs.
"He doesn't want to hear that."
"Okay sorry."
"Why didn't he just leave Izzy at your parents place?" Sam frowns as he nods to Spike to follow him into the living room.
"Yeah that's all I need to hear from my ma…is Mikey when are you gonna get me one of these," Spike just shakes his head, drawing a small laugh from his friend. "Why didn't he ask Jules? She's a girl and all…I mean it's kinda natural right?"
"Nice stereotype," Sam laughs at Spike who merely shrugs. "But uh…I think she's busy."
"Really? Think it's a date? You know new guy and all?"
"A date…I uh…maybe. Okay so…" Sam's voice trails off, hoping Spike would get the hint and drop the subject – he didn't.
"Really? Like who?"
"Spike I don't know. Could be but…who knows, she's pretty private about that stuff."
"Yeah that's true. So you…ever want kids?" Spike asks Sam directly.
"Kids…yeah sure um…maybe…I don't know…I guess I…" Sam rattles off and then stops.
"Okay…that was…I was just askin'."
"I don't know. What about you?"
"Maybe if I found the right girl," Spike sighs as he opens Sam's fridge and then pulls out two beers and then hands one to Sam. "Are you seeing anyone?" Spike asks, making Sam lightly choke on his beer swallow and then cough. "Sorry again?" Spike asks somewhat sheepishly.
"No it's good. I just swallowed to fast," Sam frowns as he places the beer on the table. "So we got pizza and I think if we play the TV softly we're all set," Sam answers firmly giving Spike a look that really said to drop it this time; thankful that his friend finally does.
"Maybe she'll sleep all night."
"Yeah if we're lucky," Sam slumps down into couch and then flips on the TV. "So can you really see Ed changing diapers?"
"Maybe he just pulls a gun and orders Clark to do it," Spike chuckles.
"Yeah hot call at the Lane house – a dirty diaper has to be vacated. Clark you're lead on this," Sam tries to copy Ed's commanding tone but ends up laughing as well just as Izzy makes known that she's awake and wanting attention.
"You woke her up," Spike sighs at Sam.
"I did not," Sam frowns. "So much for dinner."
"So much for her sleeping all night," Spike pipes up.
The two of them exchange glances as soon as they hear the little girl starting to fuss and instantly stand up. "Speaking of hot calls," Sam groans as they head for the baby carrier still near the front door.
"Should we pick it up? I mean her…" Spike nervously stammers as both of them peer down at Izzy who was now fully awake and looking up at them while flailing her arms and about to let them both know she was in need of food and a change. "I'll get her."
"I think…" Sam starts only to have Izzy let out a loud bellow. "Oh damn…"
"Don't curse," Spike whispers as his fingers fumble with her belt.
"Sorry…just um hurry."
"It's stuck," Spike groans as he spies Sam's Swiss Army Knife on the table nearby and reaches for it.
"Hey man that's not a bomb and if you cut that thing and Ed will go all Scorpio on us. Here let me," Sam pushes Spike out of the way and tries to push the large red button to extricate the now screaming baby. "Something's caught in here."
"Should we call him?"
"Only if you wanna get demoted to parking duty…"
"Coffee shop duty?" Spike chuckles.
"Don't remind me. Okay there…got it," Sam steps back up. "Okay pick her up."
"Me?" Spike looks at Sam before both of them look back down at Izzy. "Uh sure…I can do this," he talks to himself as he holds Izzy a few feet from him and Sam, her little arms continuing to flail and her little pink lips quivering. "Maybe she's hungry?"
"Pizza? Kidding," Sam teases as he reaches into the travelling bag and pulls out a small bottle. "Oh right gotta warm it."
Spike brings Izzy closer to his chest and tries to cradle her uncooperative frame as he slowly follows after Sam into the kitchen. "I think she…Sam…what is that?"
"Oh d…" Sam starts to curse again as he turns to the microwave and sees the milk starting to bubble. "I thought I put twenty seconds," he groans as he quickly pulls the superheated milk from the oven. "Too hot. Think we can give her regular milk?"
"What do you think that is?" Spike wonders as he tries to bounce Izzy in his arms.
"Breast milk?"
"Like from…" Spike stops, making a face that instantly makes Sam laugh.
"It's probably formula genius," he teases his friend as he opens the fridge and stares at his small carton of milk.
"Hey you can Google it. The net knows everything."
"Right!" Sam agrees as he hurries to his laptop on the kitchen table with Spike in tow.
"Hi Izzy…" Spike smiles and tries to soothe. "Please stop crying or your daddy is not going to trust us again," he states in a happy-like tone. Izzy's round blue eyes look at him and for a few seconds she stops to fuss, forcing Spike's expression to mimic hers. However, as soon as her lips open and a resounding bellow comes from her lungs, Spike's smile quickly fades.
"Gosh the net has…okay how old is she?"
"Call Jules," Spike suggests. "She'll help us and won't tell Ed."
"No way…she can't…we can do this Spike. We are two responsible guys…most of the time," Sam states firmly, not wanting to add that he didn't want to seem incompetent to his secret girlfriend in front of his unsuspecting team member. "How old is she?"
"Izzy how old are you?" Spike teases with a smile. "I think six months now right? Maybe seven? She's crawling."
"Okay six months…sure as long as she's not allergic. If she is…then she barfs."
"Great," Spike groans as he watches Sam take the hot bottle, pour out half, add half cold milk to make it the perfect temperature and then hand it to the hungrily little baby. Izzy's small hands clutch the bottle, her tiny pink lips sucking greedily at the nipple. "Hey you didn't wash the nipple."
"Pardon?" Sam counters and both of them smirk. "She's fine with…that."
Both of them head into the living room where Sam takes Izzy from Spike so that Spike can try to clean up some of the pizza stuff. He looks down at the small precious child in his arms and can't help but feel a fatherly protective instinct take over; he kinda understood Ed's soft spot for kids. Sam looks up just as Spike knocks something over.
"Oh man that's gonna stain. Hold on you need proper cleaner," Sam moans as he, without really thinking about it, puts Izzy down on the floor and hurries to help.
"Do you have any more paper towels…Sam…"
"Yeah?"
"Where's Izzy?"
Sam twists around to the spot he thought he left her and then looks at Spike in terror. "Quick find her."
"I can hear Ed now Sam...you lost my daughter where?"
"Just find her," Sam pokes Spike in the ribs.
"Izzy!" Spike calls out, making Sam just shake his head as he heads for his bedroom. Spike follows after Sam and both of them look at Izzy who had a bunch of CD's in one hand and a pair of black boxers in the other.
"Are they clean?"
"Yes," Sam retorts as he snatches the package of underwear away from Izzy's hands. "Don't tell Ed," Sam groans as he heads for the baby, carefully plucking the CD's from her sticky fingers, which in turn only makes her cry. "Okay Spike turn on some of that Italian charm and make her stop crying again."
"Okay…shhh Izzy its okay…please stop crying or else Sam's landlord will complain and he'll be evicted and out on the street and be demoted to coffee shop attendant."
"Funny," Sam smirks as he watches Spike and Izzy leave and quickly puts the rest of his stuff away and then heads back into the living room where Spike was now bouncing Izzy on his knee. "Spike she…just…ate…" Sam warns too late as Izzy's stomach throws back some of the mixed milk onto Spike's denim clad leg forcing the SRU bomb tech to make a face and then frown. "Way to go," Sam groans at his friend as he quickly takes Izzy from Spike, allowing his friend to clean himself up.
"I didn't know," Spike moans as he watches the runny vomit run down his leg a bit more and then send some drops onto the carpet. "Look at my jeans?"
"Yeah but now she's got barf on her sleeper and the floor. Check the bag from Ed for something fresh for her to sleep in."
"Copy that," Spike answers without hesitation as he hurries to the kitchen to clean the milk off his jeans and then back to the entrance to get the well-stocked bag Ed had given them to use. He heads back to the living room and kneels down beside Sam who takes the blanket and with one hand helps Spike to stretch it out before he places Izzy down on it.
"Okay so maybe we should change her diaper also?" Sam asks softly as they both look down at Izzy who had suddenly gone quiet and was looking up at them with large, tear stained eyes. But as soon as she breaks into a small smile, both men's expressions soften and smiles are mirrored on their faces as well. Sam's fingers start to undress the soiled soft sleeper, poking her soft body in certain places and evoking infectious laughter to fill the room.
"Do we wash that?" Spike wonders.
"It's so small. Maybe they just toss it?"
"Don't toss it, recycle it," Spike quickly answers.
Sam nods before he heads back to the kitchen to get a plastic bag to put the garment into. "We can't leave it in this, by the time Ed gets back here it'll stink for sure. I'll just rinse it out," Sam suggests. "You change her diaper."
"Why me?"
"You're the bomb guy. You handle sticky situations," Sam smiles as he heads for the kitchen and pulls on a pair of rubber gloves.
"Not funny," Spike retorts. "You do it."
"You made her barf, you change the diaper."
"What? Okay fine…I can do this," Spike mumbles to himself as he slowly moves in. "Sam she's a girl…it's kinda creepy."
"Ed won't be mad – I promise," Sam calls out.
"Ed won't be mad – I promise," Spike mocks his friend as he slowly peels back the tape and then leans back on his heels. "Seriously Sam, she only looks cute. She smells…"
"Do you really want to go there?" Sam counters as he leaves the sleeper on the sink and heads back to his friend to help.
"Okay get me some of those…seriously this is gross," Spike lightly chuckles as he gently lifts both Izzy's feet into the air with one hand and then pulls out the soiled diaper with another, handing it to Sam after Sam cleans her and then places her back down on the blanket.
"Quick put on another one before she pees on my carpet."
"Right," Spike takes the diaper and then tries to put it back into place. "Next time I say we leave her with Jules."
"She'd probably like that," Sam answers with a hint of affection in his voice as he looks down at Izzy who had a clean diaper on. "Gotta admit, she's pretty cute."
"Yeah she is…okay sleeper and then…maybe she'll just stay like this."
Sam helps Spike dress Izzy and then both lean back to watch what she does. Wasting no time, Izzy flips herself onto her belly and then starts to crawl away. "Yep Ed's kid for sure, never wanting to stay put," Sam teases as he grabs her foot, gently pulling her back down; both of them delighting once more as she fills the room with happy laughter.
"Think she'll run out of energy anytime soon?" Spike asks with a small groan as it was his turn to hurry after the escaping baby.
"Doubt it. Ed never sleeps, why should she?" Sam laughs as he watches Spike come back to the middle of the room with the laughing baby who is once again placed on the blanket and given a toy to try to appease her waning attention.
"Put on some cartoons," Spike suggests.
"Ah good idea," Sam flips to the Cartoon Network. The ploy works for a few minutes, the brightly colored animated objects on the big screen TV only a few feet away. But that only works for a few minutes, before she is once again on her belly and heading, this time for the shoe closet.
"There she goes again. Subject is trying to escape."
"Okay close all the doors. Block her in," Sam directs as he quickly pulls Izzy away before she can grab something else.
"Who said this would be easy?" Spike groans as he picks up another object she had thrown, missing a glass item by mere inches.
"Ed," both of them groan at once.
The next few hours were much the same, Izzy would try to escape, laughing at the two tiring adult males as they tried to charge after her, bring her back and then play with her; hoping to distract her into just staying put.
They fed her once more, this time with the properly warmed formula and didn't rock her so thankfully she only had to be changed once. But the next two hours were pretty much a repeat of the first hour, feeding, playing, running after her until the three of them slumped down on the couch – completely exhausted.
"Sam? Spike?" Ed's soft voice calls out as he pushes the door open. It wasn't locked and was quiet but he decided to go in and inspect before pulling his gun or calling for help. Him and Sophie enter and look at the scene before them, Ed only shaking his head and laughing inwardly.
Sam's normally clean apartment was now strewn with baby clothes, diapers, toys, bottles; basically the entire contents of the bag had been emptied. He spies the damp sleeper in the kitchen and the wrapped diaper on the counter. The pizza box was open and it looked like it barely touched and the two beers were only half drunk and the TV was playing cartons on mute. Welcome to fatherhood guys, Ed's mind smiles as he nears the living room, finally spying his darling daughter and her two hapless babysitters.
"Should we wake them?" Sophie asks softly.
"In a minute…" Ed smiles as he pulls his phone and takes a picture of his two junior team members passed out on the couch with Izzy soundly nestled between them; two men who could take on any tough life or death situation brought down by a six month old – priceless! Ed chuckles to himself as heads toward them, knowing that it probably wouldn't be the last time he'd get them to do this favor again.
THE END!
A/N: Okay so sorry guys this was longer than I wanted lol but once I started I just kept going. Hope you liked this lighter-hearted piece and please review before you go and thanks! Reviews get you more stories! :D