The Pureblood Myth
It was a beautiful autumn morning at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Most of the students had decided to take advantage of the sunshine, and were wandering around outside, basking in the sunlight. Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley were no exception.
They were quietly discussing the events of the last year, and the disastrous appointment of Professor Umbridge, when Malfoy and his goons made their presence unpleasantly known.
"Well, well, well." he sneered "If it isn't the Gloryhound, the Blood Traitor and the Mudblood, out polluting the air for the true leaders of the Wizarding World."
Harry and Ron both looked livid, and set to start hexing, when they were all surprised, by Hermione. She started laughing. Loudly. So loudly that she quickly drew stares from the other students, who were thinking that she'd finally cracked. And so hard that she could barely stand.
She finally managed to calm herself down, tears from laughing so hard still running down her face, mainly due to the concerned looks from Harry and Ron – though each demand from Malfoy to find out what was so funny sent her into another laughing fit. Still sniggering slightly, she said "Oh, you so-called 'Purebloods'. So determined to protect something that doesn't actually exist. There is no such thing as a Pureblood wizard, there never has been, and you're all carrying on as if you were. It's so pathetic it's hilarious."
"Explain yourself, Granger." Malfoy growled, fingering his wand.
"Tell me, Draco, what is the definition of a Pureblood?"
"A Pureblood witch or wizard is one that has no record of non-wizarding ancestors in his or her direct line."
"Now, what is the definition of a Muggle-born?"
"A Muggle-born witch or wizard has no record of wizarding ancestors in his or her direct line. What's your point?"
Hermione ignored his question and continued "Would you agree that Half-blood covers everyone that is not Pureblood or Muggle-born?"
"Yes."
"Now, who was the first wizard?"
"Merlin of course. Everyone knows that."
"Was Merlin Pureblood, Half-blood, or Muggle-born?"
"Pureblood of course."
"NO!" Hermione shouted. "Merlin was not a Pureblood wizard. How could he have been Pureblood, since he was the first wizard in the world? Do you really think that all of Merlin's direct ancestors had the ability to use magic, and just didn't use it? Furthermore, who did Merlin teach magic to, Pureblood, Half-blood or Muggle-born? If he married, who would he have married?"
Malfoy and the rest of the listening students stood there, stunned, as Hermione continued. "Merlin would have taught Muggle-born children how to use magic, and their Half-blood children as well. As for who he married, if he married, she'd have probably been a Muggle, since I don't think he'd have married a student."
Seeing that her words had hit home, Hermione grabbed Harry and Ron and walked away, dragging them along behind her. Malfoy stood where he was, trying to process what he'd been told. 'Not a Pureblood… Never was a Pureblood… Merlin, the First Wizard wasn't Pureblood.' His world shattered, and his anchors cut adrift, his eyes rolled back in his head as he collapsed to the ground in a faint, followed by the other Purebloods around him who had understood Hermione's tirade.
Ron recovered his wits and said "Hermione, that was brilliant. Scary, but brilliant. That was a good joke, wasn't it?" he sounded almost desperate to hear Hermione tell him she hadn't meant what she'd said.
Hermione just looked at him. "Ron, everything I said to Malfoy was true, and anyone with the slightest bit of sense could have made the connections."
Ron followed the example of the other Purebloods, and fainted.
A/N Short little one-shot. It sometimes surprised me how no-one realised that there was no such thing as a Pureblood wizard, especially the Purebloods themselves. So I wrote this. Was it any good?