Warning: A sense of humor is required beyond this point.
Nelly Snooper: Horrible Fanfic
Prologue
"Good morning class," Miss Briggs greets the students as she enters the classroom.
Groans are exchanged throughout the room as they notice she is holding bagpipes. They are interrupted by an unfamiliar girl walking through the door.
"Well, I was going to play my bagpipes this morning, but instead I have to introduce you to the new student," Miss Briggs explains bitterly.
"Oh, that's alright, I can introduce myself," the new girl announces proudly.
"Go on, enlighten us."
"My name is Mary Sue. My parents are John and Jane Sue. They're both lawyers. We moved here so I can dramatically invade the lives of Carly Shay, Fredward Benson, and Samantha Puckett."
Miss Briggs grunts.
"That's enough, Mary. Grab a chair and park it."
The day conveniently zooms by so Carly, Sam, and Freddie are meeting at their lockers to walk home together.
"What do you think of Mary?" Freddie asks curiously.
"I think you two should hook up so I get jealous and realize I love you," Sam suggests.
"I think she should stare at me obsessively during French class and try to become my girlfriend," Carly recommends.
"I think she should outsmart me in AV club until I start to slit my wrists," Freddie reasons.
Mary Sue overhears their conversation and steps in.
"Purely amateur. I can do you all worse. Just you watch."