Later, Eight Gators *
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
Inspired by "A Switch in Time" in Uncle Scrooge # 393 and elsewhere.
*I wrote another version of this story I shall keep to myself entitled "Meanwhile Crocodile"
Launchpad was about to deliver eight full grown alligators to a bunch of scientists who were doing studies on animals that have remained virtually unchanged since the time of the dinosaurs: alligators, crocodiles, sharks...
Then his cell phone rang. Launchpad has the most unique ring tone I've ever heard. It actually goes: ring, ring. Nobody else I know has a ring tone like that.
It was Mr. McDuck. He wanted Launchpad to deliver a new type of coin counter (that polished, counted and even put coins into those little paper tubes the banks insist on) to the Money Bin itself.
Launchpad said: "Sure, I'll come, Mr. McDee, as soon as I finish this delivery."
Launchpad did not realize that the Beagles were hiding nearby and had overheard PART of his conversation with Mr. McDuck.
That's the trouble with ease dropping. You can only hear PART of the conversation without somebody realizing that you are listening. You may miss something very important. The Beagles did not hear that Launchpad was going to the Bin after making a delivery; they thought he was going there now.
"Did you hear that? That big dope, Launchpad is delivering something to the Bin. Let's sneak aboard his plane, hide in the crates he's delivering to the Bin. We wait until we're in the Bin; we pop out and rob it!" Big Time schemed.
So, while Launchpad was gassing up (1) his plane, the Beagles snuck aboard the plane and snuck into the cargo bay. Somehow, Launchpad didn't think anybody try to steal eight full grown alligators.
The Beagles opened the crates, planning on hiding in them. They expected to see coin counters in the crates.
"How come the crates got holes in them?" Burger asked.
"Dope! These coin counters got little computers in them! Computers can't get too hot without breaking." Big Time replied.
Big Time didn't want to admit he hadn't noticed the air holes nor did he know the reason for them. Once the crates were open, he saw why the holes were really there.
The alligators had been lightly sedated to keep them quiet during transit. As long as they were in their dark, quiet, softly padded crates, they slept like big green scaly babies. But once the light hit their eyes and the Beagles screamed LOUDLY, the gators woke up grumpy. And hungry.
The Beagles screamed and ran.
Launchpad came back in time to see the Beagles run off in one direction. The gators followed the Beagles for a while, then the gators got tired of that and the gators disappeared into a sewer.
"I thought only New York had alligators in its sewers, not Duckburg!" Launchpad said.
Launchpad called first the cops, then animal control. Then he went to warn Mr. McDuck.
"The Beagles are after the Money in your Bin, again, Mr. McDee." Launchpad said. "They snuck aboard my plane and tried to hide in the crates I was carrying. They didn't realize the crates had gators in them. Now eight full grown alligators are loose in downtown Duckburg. I'd like to ask Giz for help, but you'll need him guarding the Bin with the Beagles on the loose."
"Then, Launchpad why don't you wear the old gizmoduck suit and guard the Bin while Gizmoduck captures the alligators?" Mr. McDuck suggested.
"Me? Wear the g-suit and be Gizmoduck AGAIN? No way Jose!" Launchpad replied.
"The OLD Gizmoduck suit. The one that's been stripped of its gizmos and gadgets. Duckworth can show you how to work the Money Bin's defenses, before he leaves for the annual butler's convention in Dogburg. Between them and the old suit's armor, you should do fine as Gizmoduck." Mr. McDuck said.
"Now, that's more my speed!" Launchpad said, relived.
Soon, the Beagles (and everybody else) saw the real Gizmoduck fight the first of the escaped gators on TV and heard that seven more were on the loose.
"What a great time to rob the Bin! Gizmoduck's WAY too busy with those dumb gators to protect the bin!" Big Time said.
So he gathered all the Beagles currently out of jail and they headed for the Bin.
Launchpad, meanwhile, was feeling nervous playing Gizmcquack again. So he asked the Jr. Woodchucks to build additional booby traps all around the Bin.
"It's me, Launchpad, in this tin tuxedo. The real Gizmoduck is rounding up the alligators running loose in downtown Duckburg. I have this control panel so I can set off the Money Bin's defenses from here. But you building some more traps will make me feel better about this." Launchpad said.
So the Jr. Woodchucks built traps around the Bin. They baited several with burgers, hoping to trap Burger Beagle. But the smell of meat attracted the hungry alligators.
Elsewhere, Giz the classic was TRYING to find the alligators. But for large animals, alligators are VERY good at hiding. They can hold their breath and hide underwater a long time.
Gators can stick just their snout barely out of the water and breathe unseen, their green color blending into the water. They can look more like a log then a log does. Giz couldn't find the gators.
Then the Beagles went to the Money Bin. They got past the regular security guards with no trouble. In fact, when one guard arrived to relieve another whose shift was ending, the Beagles snuck into the gated area around the Bin and found a place to hide. Once no ordinary guards were around, they headed towards the Bin. Only to see Launchpad in the g-suit.
"What's Gizmoduck doing here?" Big Time asked.
"According to the News on the Net, Gizmoduck is currently arresting one of our brothers who wore an alligator costume so people would panic and run when they saw him, and he could rob their homes in peace." Megabyte Beagle replied.
"Duh...how can even Gizmoduck be TWO places at once?" Burger asked.
"He can't. This guy's bigger, taller. It's not the real Gizmoduck. It's a fill-in, a temp, a sub." Big Time said, after looking at Launchpad in the g-suit closer.
"We can "handle" him. You guys go for the Bin. I'll keep him busy while you break in." Big Time.
So Big Time approached Launchpad in the tin tuxedo alone. This made Launchpad suspicious, since he's had enough experience with the Beagles to know they seldom work alone. Big Time especially likes having brothers to boss around. But Launchpad decided to pretend to be stupid.
Since everybody THINKS he's stupid because he's big and strong (what's THAT got to do with his IQ quotient, anyway?)the hard part for Launchpad is trying to convince people that he's NOT a moron.
No matter how many times he is clever, resourceful or a survivor, it doesn't matter. People believe what they want to believe and you can't convince them otherwise. So Launchpad has learned to take full advance of the fact people think he's stupid.
"Hi, there, big guy! Hot in there?" Big Time asked Gizmcquack.
"Big Time? What are you doing of jail? What are you doing HERE?" Launchpad asked. And he pressed some buttons on his keyboard that made the bin's defenses check for other intruders around.
"Fooled ya with my disguise, didn't I? I look just like Big Time in this get up, don't I? I'm a private eye, disguised as Big Time. I got me a tip the Beagles is going to try to rob Scroogie's Bin. Without Big Time's help, he's still in jail. So I disguised myself as Big Time and headed out here to help catch them so maybe Scroogie will hire me." Big Time lied outrageously.
"Good disguise. You look just like Big Time. Exactly like Big Time. You even talk just like him. Good thing you're as small as he is, not many people are, or you'd never pull it off." Gizmcquack replied, as if he believed a word Big Time had uttered.
"Maybe you can help me? Mr. McDee's just installed a secret tunnel into the Money Bin. In case he ever gets locked out of his own Bin, which happened once. " Gizmcquack began.
"I don't know if the tunnel is safe or if anybody can get past the booby traps in it. I'm too big to test the tunnel. Could you test it for me? That would really impress Mr. McDuck. If a private eye can't get past the booby traps, nobody can. I know I can trust a private eye not to try to rob the Bin." Gizmcquack said.
"Of course I'll help you! Shows me this tunnel and I'll see if I can get thru!" Big Time replied, delighted.
Gizmcquack showed Big Time the "tunnel" and Big Time hopped into it.
Is it necessary to tell you the "tunnel" is a booby trap? Of course it is!
On the far side of the Bin, the Beagles were trying to break in. But Launchpad had given the bin's defenses the "head's up". Not that it's EASY to break into the Bin, mind you, quite the opposite. The Beagles have taken the Bin by surprise. The Bin's defenses respond faster and better on full alert .
Since the Bin was on full alert, when the Beagles tried to use a blow torch on the Bin, an intense steam of water extinguished its flame. When they tried to battle the door down with a giant mallet, a wall of rubber sprung up and the mallet bounced back and hit THEM.
"Hey, I smell burgers!" Burger said.
"You stay here, fool. It's certainly a trap." Megabyte said.
"But I'm hungry!" Burger whined.
And he followed the smell of burgers anyway. Megabyte sighed, but he figured Burger wasn't very useful, anyway.
A hungry alligator also followed the smell of burgers. It came up to Burger while he was trying to figure out how to get the burgers out of what was, even to Burger, obliviously a trap without getting caught.
Alligators are one of the few animals that prey even on PEOPLE. Burger took one look at the gator and jumped into the trap, where the gator could not get at him. It sniffed at the bars of the trap, now closed to become a cage and left, looking for food.
"Oh well. At least I got the burgers." Burger said, eating happily.
Gizmcquack saw the alligator looking for food. The hungry gator soon starting chasing the Beagles. It did not bother Launchpad. With the g-suit on (which now had leggings), all the gator could smell of him was metal and polish. But he could smell the Beagles. So he chased them.
Launchpad contacted Gizmoduck.
"I'm kind of busy right now. A tractor trailer carrying meat overturned on the Duckburg highway and not only is it blocking traffic, there's meat splattered all over the highway! I can right the truck easily enough, but what am I supposed to do with the meat?" Giz muttered.
"Bring it here. One of the escaped gators is already here. That meat will attract hungry animals, including the gators. Here, at the Bin there arel booby traps galore to catch them in!" Launchpad suggested.
"Might work. I'm coming!" Giz replied.
So Giz righted the truck, popped out a giant scoop and scooped up the meat. Then he flew on his jet pack to the bin.
Launchpad, meanwhile, was building a make-shift hot air balloon out of the stuff that was left over after the Jr. Woodchucks had built booby traps.
A large laundry basket was the basket, a large tarp became the balloon, and an old leaf blower became the hot air blower. (2)
"Attention Beagles! I suggest you get onto the hot air balloon to get out of the reach of the gators!" Gizmcquack shouted.
Megabyte and Bicep Beagle were backed up against the Bin, the gator was right in front of them. There was no place to run, no place to hide.
"We won't all fit in that thing!" Megabyte objected.
"Burger has been caught. so has Big Time. You can use the balloon or you can take your chances with the gator. Your choice." Gizmcquack replied.
"How do you know we won't try to escape?" Bicep asked.
"You won't get far in a make shift hot air balloon, not without the cops shooting it down. Hot air balloons are slower than mud." Gizmcquack answered.
The Beagles got into the balloon.
"Ain't you coming?" Bicep asked.
"With this armor on? It wouldn't get off the ground. And I rather take my chances with the gator." Gizmcquack responded.
The Beagles TRIED to use the balloon to escape. But hot air balloons are slow. Especially when the wind is blowing in the 'wrong" direction. The wind was blowing the balloon towards the ocean. The Beagles tried to tack in another direction, but it was PAINFULLY slow. (3)
Then Megabyte, who thinks he is a frigging genius, had a "brilliant" idea. Remember back in science class when some science teacher showed how jet engines work by releasing a balloon? Megabyte decided to release just a little bit of air from the balloon, then some more, then some more so the balloon would go fast like a jet.
Megabyte got the leaf blower going full steam to replace the air he was about to release. He TRIED to let out just a little air...and ALL the air went WHOOSING out at once and the balloon went higgledy-piggledy zoom, just like the balloon the science teacher released did.
Megabyte had somehow expected a MAKESHIFT balloon to work perfectly. The balloon ended up draped over the top of the Money bin, the basket still attached to it. And the Beagles were still in it, hanging on for dear life. The Bin's a good 50 stories tall if not taller. Too high for them to jump...especially with the gator on the ground below, waiting, hoping.
Just about then, the real Gizmoduck showed up. The gator smelled the meat Giz was carrying. Giz took a piece of meat and dangled it towards the gator. The gator snapped at it and ended up in one of the Money Bin's multi-numerous traps. The gator had been trying to get at the meat in the scoop, rather than the piece in Giz's hand, and had not been paying attention for possible traps.
Then Giz rescued the Beagles from their predicament and put their paws behide their backs and snapped handcuffs on them. Then Giz saw Burger and Big Time, trapped in booby traps.
"launchpad...HOW? How did you catch the Beagles?" Giz inquired, whispering Launchpad's name.
"Actually, they sort of caught themselves. Burger was trying to get away from the gator, Big Time was trying to rob the Bin, and the others were trying to escape..." Gizmcquack explained.
Launchpad was then interrupted. Giz had put the scoop down to snap the cuffs on the Beagles. The smell of the meat in the scoop attracted the other seven gators. All eight had been raised in captivity and did not know how to hunt for food. They were hungry.
Launchpad mutely pointed out the gators approaching the scoop (and them), Giz grabbed one and flipped it into the nearest booby trap. Launchpad ran from a second and led it into a booby trap while trying to escape from it. He HAD been trying to do that, even if I'm not sure he had planned it quite the way it happened.
The rest of the gators headed for the scoop and started eating. Working together, Giz and Launchpad picked up one of the largest booby traps (Giz needed help because it was awkward and bulky) and dropped over the too-busy-eating-to-notice gators. THEN, the cops and animal control showed up to cart the Beagles off to jail and the gators off to the scientists.
The End.
(1) On Earth Disney, they switched to using vegetable oil as fuel back in the 80's. They take vegetables that are unfit to eat and turn them into vegetable oil fuel. Big Oil sells it from their gas stations. They reduced crude oil production to keep the price of crude oil steady during the switch over. Now gasoline is used only in tractors, lawn mowers, that sort of thing.
(2) Idea stolen from the cover of Italy's Duck Tales avventure di paperi - TV Comic Magazine # 7. You can look it up in coa inducks (Isn't that a marvelous wonderful name?)
(3) If I'm wrong about how slow hot air balloons are, you have permission to correct me.