Pairing: MerlinxArthur

Word Count: 1,742

Notes: Written for a prompt at a Live Journal community called comment_fic.

Disclaimer: I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

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Until the Day I Die

When Arthur rode out with his father and the knights of Camelot, Merlin was instructed to stay behind. The battlefield was no place for him; he was just a manservant and had no fighting experience anyway. So Merlin had to stand, clenching and unclenching his fists around the bottom of his jacket and shuffle his feet awkwardly as he watched them ride out to meet an advancing army. Camelot's safety and entire future sat heavily upon their shoulders.

He spent some time, he wasn't sure how much, just that it felt so long, pacing back and forth in Arthur's chambers. Then he went to Gaius to try and distract himself. But he just couldn't pay any attention to any of the lessons in anatomy or medicine Gaius tried to teach him and he kept making the table vibrate as his leg twitched. Trying to move onto practical lessons ended with Merlin not paying attention to which bowl of herbs he was adding a small vial of liquid to, so busy was he gazing out of the window and worrying, the room very quickly filled with an unpleasant smell. That, in turn, prompted Gaius to turf him out of the room until he got things sorted out again and Merlin calmed down.

But Merlin didn't calm down. Not one bit. He could see the afternoon coming to an end, felt the brush of the cooler approaching evening in the air and his anxiety grew. It wasn't long before Merlin couldn't stand it any more and took a horse from the stables, only just stopping equip it before he galloped out through Camelot's gates.

It was mostly easy finding the battleground, all Merlin had to do was follow the tracks which the horses of Camelot's army had left. He hurried all the way, knowing it would be getting dark soon, which may mean he would lose the trail and become lost. Sometimes the tracks weaved through the trees of the forest and that alone made things difficult.

And then the battlefield was suddenly before him as he pushed his horse through some low-hanging branches. By now night was settling quickly, but Merlin could see the still lumps of bodies and the dark streaks of blood. He slid off his horse and gave it a quick but reassuring pat on the side as he looked around, squinted through the dark and tried to see who the victor was. And, more importantly, where Arthur was. He would surely be angry that Merlin had gone against his orders and followed him but right then it wasn't a concern.

When he built the courage to take some cautious steps forward, he looked to his right, saw a crowd of people and went towards them. The closer he got, the clearer the colours of Camelot became and he started to recognise the knights who wore them so proudly. That was when Merlin noticed he couldn't see any of the opponents, besides the blood-splattered dead bodies. They must have retreated, he assumed.

He got nearer and managed to catch a glimpse between the knights of what they were gathered around. Uther knelt on the ground, holding Arthur's body. A chill jolted through Merlin, a lump caught in his throat and his head buzzed with fear. There was one knight knelt as well and it looked as though he was seeing to wounds upon Arthur's chest. Another was preparing a horse.

Merlin wasn't supposed to be there. But he didn't think of that as he stepped forward. "What happened?"

All eyes turned to him. Merlin could feel their gazes, watching him, silently questioning him, but the only place he looked was Arthur. Not even when he heard Uther ask; "what are you doing here?" What Merlin did notice were the cracks in his voice and that made his fear grow.

"Let me see him. Please." He pushed his way through the knights, twisting around and barging into the hands which reached out to try and stop him, ignoring the cries and shouts entirely. Merlin managed to get close enough to Arthur to see the deep wound in his chest, near his heart, and the blood which slithered down his chain mail. He was still breathing, but it came quick and shallow and his face was drained of colour. Arthur was running out of time. The sight made him stop and he felt hands upon him, pulling him back again. Merlin's mind was rushing but suddenly, he didn't know why nor did he question it, something came to mind. A leaf. Merlin remembered it from the book of magic Gaius had given him. He couldn't remember its name, just what it looked like, but that would do. He had taken special care to memorise it after realising he'd lost count of the number of times Arthur had brushed death.

Merlin whirled around, squinting into the forest around them. He knew what he was looking for and the areas of the forest it would be growing in. Fear started to give way to a desperate hope which clutched tightly at his chest.

"Sire!" he called to the king, digging him heels into the ground and beginning to struggle again against the knights pulling him back. "Sire, listen, please. There's a plant. It should be growing around here. It won't cure Arthur, but will ensure he will get back to Camelot alive. Please. Let me go and find it. Please sire!"

He was still looking at Arthur as he begged and, realising that, turned his gaze to Uther. In the darkness, he could see the king watching him, frowning as he came to a quick decision. "Is this something Gaius taught you?"

"Yes." Merlin nodded, lying but not caring. Not when Arthur's life depended upon it.

Uther looked him up and down and Merlin thought he saw a glimmer of something within the king's eye. Trust. The tightness in his chest grew.

"Very well." Uther nodded once. "But you have until the horses are prepared to go back. No longer."

Despite himself, Merlin felt a small smile pull at the corners of his mouth. "Thank you, sire. Thank you!"

"Go."

Merlin tore out of the holds upon him, not waiting to be released, and ran towards the closest forest edge. He was so dizzy with urgency, he almost tripped on a tree root as he charged through the bushes. Through the buzzing of panic in his ears, he could hear Uther give orders to his knights and so Merlin hurried to squint through the darkness into every bush and shrub he could find, trying desperately to locate that particular plant. It was hard in the dark so, without a second thought or even a glance over his shoulder to make sure he wasn't being watched, Merlin held out his hand and a small ball of blue light floated before his palm.

A desperate chant repeated over and over again in his mind. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please.

He heard the sound of orders again, still faint in his ears over his rushing mind, and felt panic. The chant in his head quickened and his search intensified.

The small blue light in his palm lit up a small shrub and something caught in Merlin's throat, bringing tears to his eyes. That was it. That was it! He grabbed a handful of leaves, feeling the sting of small branches scratching into his fingers but didn't care. Merlin staggered to his feet and ran, forcing his shaking legs forward and shouted; "it's here! It's here!"

He burst back onto the battlefield again and felt his legs shake even more as he saw Uther beside his horse with Arthur in his arms.

"I've got it," Merlin gasped out, suddenly realising how exhausted he was, and held out the fist clutching the leaves. "I've got it."

"Will it be quick?" Uther asked and Merlin nodded. "Very well."

Uther knelt down on one knee on the ground, resting Arthur against his leg and his chest, as Merlin rushed to him. The knights of Camelot stayed close but still Merlin paid them no mind. Merlin crashed to his knees on the ground, almost skidding on the mud and into the king and prince. Again, he could feel all eyes upon him, watching him closely, but it didn't matter. All that did was Arthur. So Merlin immediately went to work, plucking the leaves from where they sat in his palm, slightly crushed but still in a condition good enough to use. He lay them across the wound on Arthur's chest, criss-crossing them. As he pressed them lightly into the broken flesh and blood he felt Arthur stir and heard a raspy groan wheeze between his lips. Merlin kept working, only once faltering when he heard Arthur's voice, reduced to a croaked and broken whisper.

"Told you... stay behind..."

Merlin could have both punched and kissed him but that quick buzz of happiness was wiped out when he felt his mind become heavy with a horrible thought.

The leaves alone would not do anything to help Arthur. It needed magic. In front of the Uther and the knights of Camelot. Merlin felt his chest squeeze, his hands shake, almost spilling the leaves and ruining what he had already done, and his head swirl with an overpowering and sickening panic. He was scared. Terrified.

But Merlin already knew what his choice would be. There wasn't any.

'Until the day I die.'

He finished his task of arranging the leaves in a simple pattern over Arthur's wound and dropped those he hadn't used on the ground, carelessly and cast them from his thoughts. As Merlin pressed his hand against the wound, feeling Arthur's blood beneath his fingers, he looked at his face. It was still so pale. Arthur's fringe was mattered against his forehead with sweat and blood. There were shadows under his eyes, which were barely open and watched Merlin with a look of confusion. But trust. Merlin looked into those eyes and felt his heart squeeze.

There wasn't time to make any pleas or promises. Just a quiet; "please don't hate me," as Merlin leaned into him.

Merlin pressed his lips to Arthur's, feeling the broken skin upon them. He closed his eyes because then he could at least try to pretend Arthur had made that promise and would keep it. Merlin whispered the words he learned from the book against Arthur's lips.

END