Pilot

I walked into the tiny room, one of 12 in the community centre. I found Esme setting up and could hear Rosalie cussing at the chairs in the store room. Ah, home. I was the first day of the season and I was calm and ready for a challenge.

In an hour people would hopefully flock in.

Of course that was only a hope.

Even though the Alcoholics' Anonymous had been running for well over five years, not many people came in. This was due to the fact that alcoholics don't want to admit that they're alcoholics. Or they don't have close enough or caring enough friends to force them to go.

I would know. I used to be an alcoholic. Now, to clarify, I say 'used to' because I'm no longer addicted to alcohol. Many people say that once you're an alcoholic, that you're an alcoholic for life, sober or not.

I'm not so sure about this; I like to think of myself as an 'Ex-A'. But back to the point.

I walked over to Esme or Aunt Esme as she was to me. She was struggling with a stack of chairs that refused to separate. I chuckled as I pushed her hands away to tug at the plastic until it yielded.

"Thank you Edward." She said as she smiled at me. Even at almost 40 Esme was still a stunning character, with a heart as pure and precious as a diamond. "You know how hopeless I am at anything that requires coordination."

That comment wasn't exactly true. When she was in her prime Esme used to play a good few sports, and she and Carlisle encouraged me to as well. But time takes it toll on everyone, albeit in different ways. Hell if I was as attractive and sexually active as my Aunt and Uncle when I was their age, I would happily give up my finer motor skills.

Rosalie then burst through the cupboard door, screeching like a banshee. "Goddamn bloody chairs. Go to hell the lot of you!" Well at least she didn't swear. "Fuck!" she screamed as she tumbled over a mat. Rose proceeded to shriek extreme profanities for the next 36 seconds before a walked over to pick her up.

"Clutz." I muttered.

"What!" she shouted into my ear. "I am not a clutz! What about the time you brought down an entire squad of cheerleaders in high school, huh? And then little old Rosalie had to save your ass from expulsion."

"Yes Rosie, we all remember the ah, incident."

"Good because you still haven't paid up for that one."

That's what she always said. Throughout years of schooling she was my rock and as she would never let me pay her back it seemed I would be taking my debts to the grave.

"Stop squabbling you two, I swear you haven't matured a bit since high school." Said Esme with a joking scowl contorting her pretty features. "Now get over here and set up chairs, you know the routine, circular pattern.

"I know the routine Esme. I've been setting it up for three years straight. I'm a little concerned about Eddie-poo, this is his first year."

"He'll be fine Rosie, now come on, move that tush." Rosalie hmphed and proceeded to wiggle her hips in a showgirl like fashion.

…

59 minutes and 48 seconds later 20 chairs had been set up in a rough circle, the room had been vacuumed, a further three squabbles had been started and averted and Esme, Rosalie and I were drinking coffee and giggling over intoxicated escapades. Well, the girls did most of the giggling. It was right at the moment that we began on Rosalie as a baby that a muscle clad mammoth walked in. He was wearing a frown and being followed by a police officer. I knew the officer as Mike Newton from colledge; I had met his wife Jessica a few years ago. She was nice enough. If you could put up with trivial chatter for eight hours straight. Imagine eight years! Newton was a lot tougher than I once thought he was.

"Evening Esme," he said, tilting his hat cowboy style, "This is Emmett, he has been arrested for drunken and disorderly conduct almost 80 times and the magistrate thought it was time to sort him out." The virtual giant near blushed at the mention of his numerous arrests. I knew how he felt. I'd spent quite a few nights resting my head on the cold, hard floor of a paddy wagon.

"Hello Emmett," I said, the first to recover from the shock of the sudden interruption, "I am Edward and this is Rosalie and Esme." I continued pointing at the women respectively.

"Well, Emmett has been sober for 48 hours for a start, largely due to sitting in the back of a paddy wagon for 16," Bingo "So he shouldn't be violent, and I trust you can keep him sober by the years' end."

With the Mike turned to leave. "Oh and one more thing," he cringed at the thought of what he was next to say, not a good sign, "Due to his plentiful detainments, Emmett is no longer in ownership of a home, and isn't eligible to be a suitable tenant. So someone will have to take him home. Ah, with court authorisation of course, which I have right here. And an allowance of $200 a week for his basic requirements. Ah so um, bye." He scuttled over to Esme giving her the slip of paper, then progressed to scuttle out of the door.

"Well Emmett, you had better sit down."

The man-bear gruffly said his thanks and slid into the seat beside Rosalie.

After another few minutes the rest of the sponsors and a plentiful amount of new members walked through the door. The session was just about to begin when the group heard voices from down the hall.

"Alice this is ridiculous, not to mention humiliating, why in God's name are you putting me through this."

"Bella you have a problem and this could be the solution so get your ass in there before I ram my fist up it!" said a small pixie like girl followed by her tall Southern partner and dragging her friend.

"Hello everyone, sorry for interrupting, I know we're late but the drunk didn't want to come, she's still in denial and Jasper had to drag her here." The black haired woman huffed. "This is Isabella and I hope you like a challenge, four shrinks and I still have to pay her bail."

"Bye bye Bella."

"Oh yes sure, leave my here with these freaks after you've just mortified me beyond belief, you're a great friend."

"Toodles."

The gorgeous Bella stood in a long-sleeved blue shirt that looked quite fetching on her alabaster skin while her warm brown hair hung its way down to two firm buttocks.

Not that I cared about her ass.

Much.

"Bella is it? Come and sit down and we'll begin."

The girl seemed slightly shocked to hear Esme's honeycomb voice after the screeching tone she used on her friend.

"Do I have to?" she said snarkily.

"Yes dear, come on, there sit beside Edward." My Aunt said to the stunning brunette.

"Fine" she mumbled as she walked awkwardly over.

"Hello everyone," Esme proceeded, "As you are all aware you are here to rid yourselves of your addiction to alcohol. At this Bella snorted but Esme ignored it and moved on. "We have a twelve step program and we run it over the entire year. The steps are: admitting the problem. Some of you may have done this already but some may have not. Second, we must come to believe that a greater power could restore us to sanity. Third, we need to make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him. We must make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. We must admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. We must be entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character and humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings. Eight, we must make a list of all persons we have harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Nine, we must make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. We must continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it. Through prayer and meditation we must seek to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. And finally we must have had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps; we must try to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Well, that's the most I will ever say in this program, and we will go back to each step as we each come to them. Now Edward will collect your names written on pieces of paper and match you to a sponsor." Esme puffed a breath as she plonked down in her chair.

"Ok," I said while a handed out pens and scraps of paper to the newcomers and sponsors, "Write your name on the paper and I will collect them. There will be a sponsors' hat and a newcomers' hat which the names will be drawn out of."

The group wrote their names and I collected them up, ready to begin. "Amanda with Joseph. Sophia with Anne. Damon with Mark. Jeremy with Kelsey. Ryan with Beckka. Charlotte with Clarisse. Emmett with Rose. Leaving Bella with me. Everyone can now sit next to their partners."

…

As I lay in my bed I thought about the first session. I thought it had gone well. But I now knew why four shrinks had not been able to get Bella off the grog. She was fiery and very determined yet somehow quiet and shy at the same time. For one thing I was glad she was living with her friend because if she had had to stay at my apartment, which she would inevitably sneak out of to get pissed then sneak back in and lie in my spare bedroom, I knew I wouldn't be able to be pure, to resist the brunette angel. I would take her, and I would revel in sending her to heaven as her body remained on Earth writhing beneath me.

It was then I realised that I had become immensely hard and had to calm myself with thoughts of my Aunt and Uncle. Puppies and kittens and, oh pussies, wet and dripping brunette girls' pussies, no, no, gramma Cullen and, oh to hell with it. I threw off my bedspread and tore away my boxers to reveal an erection that was seemly growing harder at thoughts of a porcelain firecracker whispering dirty things into my ear through deep pink lips, swollen from my kisses. And yet again I grew harder. Time to take care of my 'growing' problem.

…