Harry Potter does not belong to me, nor do any of the characters. Not sure if there's a fic like this already, probably there is. This is just going to be short and sweet, maybe 3 chapters.
"Remus, I have to speak with you."
The entire Grand Hall turned silent. The Marauders were in shock as well. What could Lily Evans, the perfect student, have to do with one of the biggest troublemakers in the school?
James simply glowed with envy.
Lily took Moony by the hand and out the doors. One Severus Snape, unnoticed by others, followed.
The other Marauders turned to each other. "Well, that was strange," said Wormtail. Prongs shot him an angry look, and eventually the hall was once again filled with talking and laughter.
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Lily took Moony into an empty classroom. Snape remained outside, hidden.
"I know your secret!" she blurted.
Snape leaned in closer to the door.
"I've been having suspicions ever since we first met. Once a month, you'd be gone for a few days, and all of the Marauders will attempt to cover for you. And the way you look was a big giveaway."
Moony held his breath. So did Severus.
"You're a girl, aren't you?"
Moony's eyes grew wide with shock. "Th-that is not true!"
"It all makes sense, way more than my 'werewolf' theory at least. I mean, you probably get really bad cramps if you have to stay in bed that much, right? How long have the other kids known? Ah, but don't worry. I'll protect you well."
"Um… Uh…" Remus bolted away, slamming into Severus in the way. Severus stood frozen, before gaining enough sense to run before Lily saw him.
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Snape closed his eyes, deep in thought. He was currently in the Slytherin dormitory, and all of his roommates backed off because of the aura he gave off.
He sighed.
Remus Lupin has always disappeared once a month. That was true. He (she?) also looked very… effeminate. And Lily, sweet Lily, was no fool. She was usually right about everything.
So.
Lupin.
A girl.
He sighed again. Merlin, this was confusing. He had always thought of Remus as merely "Moony", one of the Marauders. His enemy. But now that he actually thought about it, Remus never actually attacked him, only watched, and sometimes even protected him from the other insufferable Gryffindors. And now that he thought about it, Snape had to admit that he was grateful, but only a little. After all, Slytherins did not show unnecessary emotion. So. Tomorrow, he'd say thank you.
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"You're kidding," said Sirius, unbelieving. "We thought that Lily Evans basically asked you out in public, but she actually thought you were a girl? This is hilarious!"
"She didn't ask me out. She just told me that she'd 'protect' me... Merlin, this is so messed up!" Remus ranted.
James was relieved, truly truly relieved, that Lily didn't like Remus, but refused to let it show. "Let me get this. Lily thinks you're a girl, and Snivellus overheard you, and probably thinks you are a girl as well." He grinned. "Oh the pranks we can pull…"
"I am NOT becoming material for a joke. This is seriously not funny."
"What do I have to do with it, Moony?" asked Sirius.
"Come on, Padfoot. That joke's been overused by hundreds of fanfiction writers already; it's just not funny anymore. Knock it off. But really, that girl is so bright, yet sometimes so dense. She notices my absences and all that, but draws a completely ridiculous conclusion from it," Lupin seethed. "Argh!"
Pettigrew had been so quiet that they actually forgot he was in the room. "Um… Can we just move on to talking about our next prank?"
Prongs grinned. "Certainly, my dear Wormtail. I have a most brilliant idea using flower pots, jelly, and tons of mini-fireworks."
Remus calmed down a bit, thinking the discussion to be over. But a quick look at Prongs and Padfoot would have revealed that the worst was yet to come.